monday morning!

i awoke with the lark this morning to stealthily remove my sock monkey out of a sleeping Danny's arms and make some new actions in photoshop. i swear i hadn't even got to the kitchen today and Sam's door crept open :| then he commenced to asking a thousand unanswerable questions, talking for 3 entire minutes nonstop about the new reading groups that start today and how today is NOT a minimum day and that bums him out, and now he is LOUDLY slurping the milk from his cereal at at least 750 decibels in my ear. someone help me!! i'm a regular human being stuck inside a mommy fat suit and i want to get out!! :(

i shushed him... that should give me at least 20 seconds of pure silence. oops no, it was more like 8. and now Mr Bumps is meowing because his food bowl isn't full to overflowing and he needs it full to overflowing this second. i once read that cats only meow because they are imitating their owners.... and i think i know exactly who he gets his chattiness from :|

i dreamt last night - all night i should add - that i was running for the bus. and i kept forgetting stuff like money and children and a long church-going dress all covered in plastic... and it didn't matter how fast i ran, i never got to the bus stop. on the plus side the bus was going really slowly and stuck in traffic but still... i have a tense aching jaw from all the stress of running for that dang bus....

those i-am-not-a-robot word authenticator thingies are so troubling - firstly because i have robotic eyes and usually can't read them first thing and the words aren't real words... 'deathbedo' isn't a word. nor is 'gravesido'.... hmmm maybe it's a halloween thing??

sock monkey and friend and future stripey sock monkey sitting between them :) pssst, is it me or does my sock monkey have ahem, lady breasts....?

feeling unassuaged....

though i am not really sure what it means. but it's definitely how i feel.....

today the craftiness addiction continued. after another morning of hideous nausea and having to sit very still so as not to feel sea-sick, we set off for Harbor Freight Tools (my new favorite store EVER!) they had my stamps on aisle 5... and on sale! for $4.99!!! i couldn't believe it, i would have kissed them but they were covered in very sticky engine grease... i am not sure why :|

next stop: Michaels!! for little blank dog tags that i could stamp the hell out of with words like 'love' and 'peace' and other words of wisdom that i will think of later. nothing - not a sausage :| back in the car and off to Walmart!! they never disappoint! except: today :( undeterred we continued onto Joann's! where they didn't have any little blank dog tags but they did have these masks on sale :)


a desperate stop at Ace yielded 5 bronze charms and some washers to practice on. sigh. and a free bag of popcorn and a wolf whistle from the store parrot, so it wasn't all bad. but still... my heart sank a little as we were officially out of craft stores :(

went home and put on my thinking cap on where to try next... as by this time i had added ANOTHER item to my impossible to find shopping list: rockford red heel socks size 10/11 in brown with which to make sock monkeys. ting!!! the army and navy store!! we jumped in the car and viola (i know it's voila but so many write viola/wa-la, it cracks me up, and it's supposed to be 'le voila' by the way) arrived tout suite and found THE SOCKS... and THE DOG TAGS!!!! it was like, the best day EVER!!!

until... i started making the monkey :| now it's like, the worst day ever and i have so many needle pricks all over my fingers i just want to lay mr sock monkey across the driveway and run over him, back and forth back and forth back and forth till i run out of gas. sewing sucks. it SUCKS!!! sewing is for suckers!

our stamping workshop

sock monkey 'before the procedure'

sock monkey right now... i am hoping the addition of a face will make him appear more child friendly :|

Danny's latest companion - the holiday armadillo, who demands, via his speaking friend, to be read to and to watch TV and to have a snack...

our very own replica of the dead sea complete with floating egg :)

sam's spooky pumpkin patch display - do not touch. thank you!! :)

she's crafty

what is going on? i seriously feel like violet beauregarde... but i'm not turning violet, i'm turnin' into a "homemaker"! i cannot think of anything except driving to Arizona for the day just to shop at Hobby Lobby to find new lovely new trinkets with which to feather the nest. i know Dr Phil would consider this to be my 'jumping the shark'... where a harmless love of all things crafty and cute becomes a dangerous sick obsession that threatens the wellbeing of our family (AZ is 6 hours - each way - and it's HOT there... even hotter than here, i believe...)

yesterday i couldn't do ANYTHING until i had finished cutting out every last one of my big letters for Danny's wall. i even took my exacto knife to mcdonalds to do some cutting there, only to be told off by the two little boys in my care for carrying a weapon to mcdonalds, which they were SURE was probably a felony.

today i worked all day long on making the boys' bedrooms perfect and cozy and arranged their books by height/spine color, irregardless of what they're actually about. (if i worked at the library, the shelves would be much much much prettier) i made brownies (again the dense fudgy teeth imprint type), pumpkin cobbler, enchiladas with absolutely no recipe, gave the rats a manicure, made a tiny manhattan skyline in shrinky dinks, and a red lobster, and a little cow, and a triceratops....

now all i can think of next is making jewelry. must find: little letter stamps to make silver charms with names and numbers. i looked on etsy - $180. i can't afford that, that's oprah money. a little bird (Grandpa) told me that Harbor Freight had them in the days of yore..... my heart pounded as i typed in stamp letters and hit return... and BAM! we are SOOO going at 9am sharp tomorrow!! i hope they have blank silver heart shaped charms too... a girl can dream :)

dinner last night: the biggest pizza E-V-E-R.... those plates are dinner plates, they look like saucers next to it. i did a search for where to find a 24 inch pizza and ONLY found places in Michigan, and LOTS of them :| i had no idea it was the big huge pizza state, but i want to go to there :)

Sam's room all switched around. the thing to the left of the white table is the rattie's townhome. guess who made it?? uhuh... that would be me :) don't worry, it has LOTS of holes in it and they love it so much

the new supersize white board that Dad bought him today.. we didn't even make him write this - awww!

our beautiful library

$5 of foam and an exacto knife = new wall candy :)

where the wild things are

i think i'm the only person in the WORLD who doesn't love that book.... and who won't be seeing the movie today, or probably ever. i do think they totally goofed by not bringing out a range of halloween costumes, i would actually have bought a Max costume even though i don't technically like the book...

i think Aaron is the only person in the WORLD who prefers Ruby to Max. it causes many a heated debate around here...

i think flying a kite is totally overrated

i think it's a big mistake that Walmart are thinking of doing away with their haberdashery dept next year. big mistake, walmart! HUGE!!

i think the family of the boy who 'floated away' in Colorado should have to pay back every last dime of taxpayers' money for wasting everyone's time yesterday (though it was refreshing to know i wasn't the WORST parent in America for a day...)

i think cutting out huge foam letters with an exact-o knife is both good for the soul and bad for the carpal tunnels...

i think i need the perfect brownie pan. but i worry - would all the brownies taste like outside edge brownies...? i only eat inside brownies...

i think the 24 inch pizza we are having for dinner tonight cannot get here fast enough :) get here already, pizza!!!

i think i still am forever indebted to Walmart for saving my pictures, even though they are nixing my favorite department :(

i think painting an entire wall of Danny's room as a huuuuge green chalkboard is my next project

i think it's wayyyyy too hot here

i think i should walk the poor sad pacing dogs right now, since we are out from dawn till dusk tomorrow at the Salton Sea and Imperial Sand Dunes... back soon with pics

shopping woes

sadly not every store can be as completely awesome as walmart... take albertsons for example. it used to be 'my store' according to their adverts and for a while i believed it. but no more... i went yesterday to find my personal parking space now says 'reserved for online order customers ONLY'. well that sucks, i thought ALL customers were valued. so i found another space and then noticed it said 'reserved for the police'???? hmm, if they are shopping while on duty and squandering my tax dollars, then i really don't think they should be given a good parking space to boot. walmart does NOT give all the good spaces to it's special customers - everyone is treated equally (maybe poorly... but equally poorly) at walmart :)

plus my favorite hebrew national 99% fat free hot dogs are $5.99 at albertons. at walmart they are $2. TWO FREAKING DOLLARS!!! you can get 21 hotdogs for the same price as 7 at albertsons and freeze two packs for future hot dog nights. which reminds me, i don't understand why buns are in packs of 8 but weiners in packs of 7...? another albertson's hate: pizza is 20% off on friday. and friday ONLY. so can i buy a pizza, even if i really really really need it on thursday night? or saturday morning? nope, because i can now ONLY buy pizza on friday :| thanks for making my life far more complicated and painful than it really needs to be, albertsons :|

my other hate: coupons. just reduce the prices everyday by a little bit! i hate coupons! i never have scissors so i have to tear them out which causes major anxiety in case i rip the bar code and the cashier gives an exasperated sigh and gets out HER scissors to make them neat and sometimes, even worse, as i am whisking through the store, the coupons fly out of my hands and then i can't find them and i have to put back the thing i went in for. urgh hate them.

worst offender: costco. they send books of them valid from this day to that day on this many items with these barcodes ONLY and not the low-fat ones, etc etc etc. i used to love costco... now i don't so much (but i do keep them around because you can print a 12x18 sheet not auto corrected in an hour and you can't do that at walmart :)

sigh. off to joanns... i hate joanns too!! i can only buy one thing per day because i can't possibly NOT use a 40% off coupon on my wares - do they realize i'd buy more stuff if they'd just bring the prices in line with walmart's everyday prices...? arrghhhhhh!!!!

hmmmmm

i really really really hope Jon& Kate or Kate isn't canceled :( while i don't watch the show anymore E-V-E-R since it's sooooo boring... if it went away, so would they and so would the scrappy headlines... i think they could really boost their ratings by fighting onscreen. yes i know, Dr Phil says don't fight in front of the kids... but it's a BIG HOUSE! the kids could be locked in the basement and J&K could be upstairs fighting to the death! come on TLC, you know it's what people really want to see!! no-one really gives a hoot about boring crafts and mealtime. that's boring :(

i feel soooo sick every morning these days - too sick for even my first cup of coffee, never mind my usual second... and third... go away nausea, you are soooooo not welcome here!

last night i made enchilada sauceless enchiladas - and they were sooooo good! i used some cans of spicy tomato stuff and a huge tomato in lieu of the 2 cans of enchilada sauce that i forgot to purchase. i almost snuck another one at 10:45pm because i couldn't stop thinking about their spicy, crispy, chicken-y goodness :) though the thought of them this morning is not so good... bleck!

last night i made an adorable squirrel from an old glove and today my crafting project is dinosaur pjs. something is very very wrong with this picture.... must seek medical help :|

again..... another shoutout to walmart, patron saint of all things good in the world for saving my precious pictures... i can breathe again :)

a couple of oldies

it has been said before....

but i love Walmart! and i am not ashamed to put my hand on my heart and say it loud and proud!! there are many reasons for this, the obvious stuff like you can buy fabric and bullets and aleve and candy all under one roof... and you never need to keep your receipt to return stuff which i never do... and you never need to worry about having a stain on your shirt or being underdressed... and they'll assemble your bike for free... and they have a mcdonalds... and they sell stripey beach chairs.... and garanimals... and nurses' scrubs... and polkadot shoes... and they stock diapers in the restrooms... there is soooo MUCH to love!

but now a new reason: walmart tonight actually saved my life. last christmas i uploaded all my favorite pictures of 2008 to make into a wonderfully cheeseball book from me/to me for christmas. the walmart bookmaker is by the far the coolest thing EVER, by the way... you don't even need to do anything, it makes the book all by itself and doesn't ask annoying questions... and did i mention the book is like $15?!

anyway, my hard drive crashed a week ago and i lost my pictures from the end of 2008 :| i have been having nightmares over it... recurring dreams of falling from an airplane and trying to grab my pictures of halloween costumes, and apple picking, and obama cookies, and christmas pajamas and pumpkin patches in mid-air (instead of opening my parachute like any sensible person would :) well tonight i remembered 'the book'. aha, i thought, i will scan the pictures and have my pictures again. i checked the walmart website to see what pictures were in the book... and there are all my pictures!! ALL of them, full size and perfect, saved for a rainy day such as today!! (yes it rained!!!) with a helpful little button to press to save them to my computer!!! walmart... i salute you!!! and love you so much!!!

and while i'm on the subject of loving things most people hate..... i love love love love love this video... i don't know how Britney could sing in that voice in the presence of Michael Jackson. my adoration for that man's human kindness grows every single day :)

i made him today....

link city!

i want this pillow! and this one! and this one!! soo many to choose from....

yesterday i used my patent pending rattie scarf for the first time. oh.. em.. gee!! the boys LOVED it and fell fast asleep in the pockets for at least 46 minutes as i watched flipping out to see what tragedy would unfold..... i am now obsessed with having a fresh rattie scarf for every day of the week in every pattern you can imagine - this is why i need to bulk print my joann's coupons (but shhhhh, don't tell the old ladies there!)

it rained this morning. i swear the rain manages to JUST rain when it's dark and we can't go outside and walk in it and take pictures of rainboots reflected in puddles. the rain is very mean :(

last night, as i was talking myself out of animal fries i was wondering if five guys is ever going to invade orange county. today i checked and the fricking habit is opening, but not five guys:( not that i *love* five guys really that much better... but they do have all-you-can-eat peanuts so habit therefore comes at the bottom of my burger chart :( although lamest place EVER - the counter which doesn't ever register.

i want to go to Arizona!! today!!! i just realized they have hobby lobby there!! yes i'm that obsessed with craft stores :| they don't have them in England, you know.... i honestly don't know what i did before sticky foam, scalloped scissors and felt.... that's why England has to give out ASBOs, i'm convinced of it :)

an oddly crafty day

i never thought i would be that kind of person... but as i was tidying the pantry today, i realized i have accumulated 7 different kinds of chocolate chips:

• very small dark ones
• larger dark ones
• extra extra large milk ones
• mint chocolate ones
• m&m ones
• melty ones
• regular semisweet ones

... and a new kind that i got today just to see how different hershey kiss chocolate chips are to regular chocolate chips... they look just the same :| if only i could find salty chocolate chips, those would be worth adding to my collection :)

my bargain of the week: duncan hines brownies for 70 cents at albertsons! clearly i bought their entire stock:) not that i'm obsessed with chocolate or nuthin'...

i put on dark amber and ginger lily jo malone today and it's giving me a huge headache. i honestly think i only like nutmeg and ginger... all the other ones give me a headache and nausea and make me feel like a strongly scented stranger is invading my personal space :(

i am back in full animal glove making mode!! today: a duck and a polar bear :) i also made three scarves because it rained this morning. they have pockets to put rats/hands in and everything :) they are very fancy and my boys are wearing them nonstop!

and i made little birds for Danny's tree, inspired (NOT copied:) by lovemae...

back with pics ;)

tuesday morning chock (not chalk) full of good things

my hair looked right this morning - it's flat in the right places and pixie in the right places - yay!

aaron made my coffee and it's gooooooood coffee (even from the blue jar)

it's a preschool day... that means i get to, guilt free, catch up on desperate housewives and real housewives :)

i am going to make the christmas card template... my most favorite thing to do of the entire year!

i am going to roll out sugar cookie dough sheets for the boys, with my magic sugar cookie dough recipe that makes them like play doh (but tastier...) and easier to cut out

i found these little birds for Danny's tree and i think, no, i KNOW, that i n-e-e-d them.... the little bird with the top hat - be still my whimsy lovin' heart!

yes it's going to be a GOOD DAY even though that insidious whiny christian rock 'i'm happy in this place' commercial for san diego just played for the 3rd time in as many minutes...

they're happy in this place too, even though technically they can't get out because a book is keeping them from escaping :)