worrying and wondering and wishing

desperately worried about
a lost bottle of Oil of Olay that for some reason has been out for delivery and arrived back at UPS twice already today... you know the UPS man ripped open the package and tried it. he opens all my mail... last week it was the christmas cards, which he disfigured beyond recognition, to look too dark and ugly and he also made all the folds off center, so i would have a meltdown when they arrived :( anyway i bet he was so stunned by the results that he was forced to return to UPS HQ to share his smoother, firmer skin with his colleagues, who all rushed to order their own bottle. i am not stupid :|

also worried about
finding a perfect, shiny, but not black (any color but black) ipod speaker dock thingie that fits an ipod touch in a rubber speck case, before christmas for Sam (shhhhhhhh.....)

wondering how
to remove black sticky tar from my fingers and fingernails. it won't come off - i am going to have to just brutally hack off my nails, i think.... i can't think what else to do :(

wishing to
print pictures but the thought of dealing with "Macx" at the Costco photo lab, who once actually took a coffee break - a walk-outside-and-drink-coffee-and-talk-to-the-highlighter-smiley-face-person in the middle of being the only cashier on duty, just makes my equilibrium go sideways. everytime i go in there i wonder how on earth there hasn't been a mass shooting. because someday someone (not me - i don't have a gun for this very reason) is going to walk into Tustin Ranch Costco and do something they later deeply regret :|

wondering
how many cats bumps you from simple 'cat lover' status to 'crazy cat woman'. there's this cat at our shelter, and i love him. ok... there are several - Patrick and Oreo and Hobie. they are all in a cage together so clearly they get on just fine... but to say i love Patrick is an understatement... if i was a female cat, he would be my George Clooney and i would keep a picture of him on my hello kitty iphone for emergencies :)
(just like this picture :) Patrick is the one on the right by the way. i know the similarity is startling, right?! :)


wondering
if 64 cents is enough to get a letter to Canada. i really should double check these things before mailing.... they keep me awake at night

also wondering
if any of these 'facts' are true (the cat one i am SURE is a lie!)

• ferrets are currently the third most popular pet in the US
• a cat can sprint at about thirty-one miles per hour
• a goldfish can live up to 40 years
• dogs have about 100 different facial expressions, most of them made with the ears
• armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex - they are also the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy

hmmm.... off to do some googling how fast cats can run. back later xoxox

what i did this weekend.......

• stared at the completely blank blurb book some more... maybe i need to look for book templates...? i need something, that's for sure

• mailed out christmas cards and then stressed, the second i let go of them, that i forgot to write 'United Kingdom' IN FULL on all the ones headed there... UK stands for Ukraine in the post office's eyes :|

• baked brownies (and ate waaaaay too many of them....)
  

• bought another groupon (oh please someone, uninvent groupons and save me from this evil obsession)

• thought about garlic bread nonstop (and i mean nonstop....)

• ordered pizza and garlic bread on friday night

• made some more garlic bread for dinner last night (i spilled an ENTIRE CONTAINER of peppercorns in my pasta... and tried to pick them out so i could still eat it - it was not a good idea....ohhhh, the indigestion...)

• had garlic naan for lunch today (and the yummiest indian food ever:)

• got five stars dancing to Thriller!! (and a very sore elbow again.....)

• played a whoooole lot of Beatles rock band last night (soooooooo fun!!)

• walked like an egyptian today

• and performed a flawless indian dance duet with my honeybear :)

• made mochi waffles and tried reaaally hard not to eat them all (with warm melty nutella) before freezing them for our trip to Big Bear

• watched millionaire matchmaker.... oh my gawd, the creepy bald balut man was such a total jackwad :)
  

• went to buy all the fixins for my long awaited Jessica Seinfeld lasagne - my iphone refused to give me the recipe in the store and so i was forced to leave with just crackers and candy canes :(

• went to Knotts Berry Farm again with our magical new passes!
  

• met Santa Claus :)

the bees in my bonnet today

• to find a place offering private sleigh rides (silver bells on the sleigh a must) through a guaranteed snowy, but not dark and spooky, forest. it's nothing personal but i just can't see sharing my horse drawn sleigh with 10 other coughing people. and finding guaranteed snow in sunny California isn't exactly straight forward ;) special thanks to today's groupon for my latest obsession...

• to make these cute candy canes and snowflakes from nothing but printer paper, red markers and berry baskets (must buy berries first... since the invention of thintervention, i have been deathly afraid of the sugar grams found in berries :)

• to make lots of origami snowflakes out of more printer paper
  

• to find a little vacation rental by Sequoia National Park (for that looks the most likely location offering adorable sleigh rides) that looks more like this one

• and less like this one (this is a real vacation rental ;)

• to put actual christmas music on my iphone. the downward spiral has been playing on a continuous loop since May, and while i love it dearly... it's admittedly not very festive :)

• to find a suitable little lipbalm/aleve/camera-toting backpack for tomorrow's jaunt to Knotts Berry Farm :) oh yes, we're going to get our value for money out of those passes:)

• to stop the entire country of Brazil from viewing my blog - it's nothing personal, Brazil ;)

• to buy eggs... must be free range and brown and speckled (i so need my own happy brown-speckled-egg-laying chickens)

• to survive the next two hours with no car (our car is getting new fuel injectors and we couldn't be bothered to go and pick it up... now i realize why we need two cars after all- to go places!! ;) how did people do it in the olden days??! i need chickens. and a golf cart for such grocery-needing emergencies :|
  

• to get all these potential dead letter office christmas cards off my desk. so many squiffy digits in zip codes and post codes to decipher and double check....
  

• to figure out why walking the dogs makes me so darned sick?? it's most peculiar and makes life very difficult for the dogs (i have to beg them to please not poop... because picking up poop would be a complete DISASTER!!! i can't go into a shoe store without throwing up from the awful smell, dog poop is rubber soles times ten million to my delicate olfactory senses....)

• to research, on a map, all these mountain locations of Jensen's to find if any are remotely close to Big Bear...? i love checking out new grocery stores (and i am not afraid to admit it;) and Jensen's has been on my list for a while now (piggly wiggly=f-o-r-e-v-e-r-!-!)

• to print new pictures for the den - i just don't think 32 x 24 is remotely big enough... the couch is like 12 feet long....
  

back later xoxox

Morrissey, Manchester and Michelle

what i learnt today:
not all Morrissey songs are equally drab and awful. i actually quite like the one about the international playboys :)

what's playing right now:
'laid' by james - quite possibly my most quoted song of all time, ever, bar none :) i never knew james are from manchester too. it's almost like everyone in the whole world is from manchester!! or maybe it just seems that way today...

what i made today:
trader joe's pumpkin bread with super cream cheese frosting (the best frosting ever... as in i-need-to-keep-a-bowl-of-it-in-the-fridge-at-all-times-for-emotional-breakdowns) and cookie ornaments. and a horribly unstable gingerbread cottage (started by Danny.... who quickly tired of begging the stupid (and un-delicious) frosting to actually stick the gumdrops on. as did i - it's already in an advanced state of collapse...)

what i watched today:
the Oprah about the man whose entire family was murdered. it was deeply depressing and i have no idea why i watched it :|

what i want to do on some whimsical wonderful morning in the future:
take the official helter skelter tour :| because that won't be deeply depressing at all ;)

what human qualities i find the most endearing:
humility, fairness, common sense, being a good sharer, dearly loving Dr Seuss, the Beatles and chocolate, openly admitting to watching really lame tv shows, owning a shelter pet (or two:), abiding by mild superstitions such as NEVER EVER placing shoes on the table, loving plain cheese pizza and despising board games

what's a little disconcerting:
who exactly is being pinged everytime i play a song on itunes and the little "ping!" sign appears... whoever it is, i am sorry but i can't seem to turn it off. i am going to bed soon, i promise (but yes i really do love 'michelle' by the Beatles that much :)

things i want!

• for it to be next friday already!! i am soooo done with school being everyday! it's been 100 days AT LEAST and i am so completely over it. i want to go to superwalmart, the very far one in the boonies, and eat lunch at subway and stop at a michaels or two, and meander back via the shady park with the wooden boardwalk (and 70-200mm lens)
  

• to not walk today. i know i must. but do i want to? no! i want to rest my unstable equilibrium and wear my arm in a sling, yes a sling, in a desperate bid to make it feel better. effing tennis elbow - i don't even play wii tennis, it doesn't make any sense!

• to use more exclamation points (or as Danny calls them, upside-down "i"s)

• to hike to the Hollywood sign!!

• and Fryman Canyon too! (with a very tall stepladder:)

• to stop staring at the very blank pages of my blurb 2010 review book and get on with MAKING IT! i have a groupon (and i am buying NO MORE! they are taunting me, today's offer is indian food - argh!)
  

• to make Danny's birthday book - i have a groupon for that too :) i made Sam's birthday book already - i had a groupon for that also ;)

• to go to Vegas (but not on New Year's Eve)

• to print huge new colorful pictures for the den walls

• also paint that dark wall light again

• hang icicles from Danny's tree
  

• to buy tree stumps from the lumber yard and sand and seal them as per Nate Berkus' instructions
  

• to make a cozy little (painted red) chicken coop with two/three non-pecking quiet chickens who don't try to charge at me and kill me but do lay brown eggs daily :)

• a 99 cent store by my house, where the Long's used to be. not a fake one, a real legitimate 99 cent store
  

• a perfect new screen protector on my iphone (and to eat lunch at the Olive Garden by the screen protector man... i never go there, once a year i go to remind myself why i don't - and i don't absolutely hate everything about it, the big squishy chairs on wheels are cool and the breadsticks aren't that bad... sure they aren't pat & oscars or crazy bread quality, but still...)

• for it to be genuinely cold enough for flannel sheets on the bed!

pics with the bear (who lost his left leg in a wrestling accident this past year - it needed to be reattached and retired from being flung across the room in the future :)

sickness, shiny books and George Clooney

spent
most of the day trying not to move my head at all, for fear of being violently sick all over my feet.... and clothes, forget about it - if i wear clothes i feel like they are trying to asphyxiate me :( i made brownies and felt slightly better... but only slightly better, mind you. must make pumpkin loaf with rich cream cheese frosting and hopefully be able to function tomorrow without being sick

wondering
what on earth happened to fat free cream cheese? i can't find it anywhere - and i miss it so much, cream cheese with a third of the fat just isn't slimming enough :( i bet some do-gooder complained about it being unhealthy- grrrrrrr, thanks a lot pal!

awaiting
the arrival of more kumon learning books - my children rue the day i fell in love with their cute illustrations and nice smelling paper :) yes, actually i do buy books solely based on how nice the paper smells, and also reserve the right to arrange books by the color of their spine... i bet Nate Berkus does too :)

wondering
if anyone else finds it absolutely fascinating to see that Perry Farrell buys groceries at Target like actual human beings (yes i'm still obsessing about that most awesome show "married to rock"... they really need to get that Dave Navarro on the next season :)

also
- Britney actually shops at Walmart??! we could be SUCH GOOD FRIENDS!!!
ps Danny has that little shirt too :)




loving
- and i mean LOVING - this picture :) we took a picture on that zebra crossing with a barely walking little toddler... which isn't really advisable... because Abbey Road is quite a busy street :)


loving
this woman for sharing my small George Clooney crush :)

• I first saw him playing Dr Ross in the TV hospital series ER, and thought then, as I do now, that if Dr Ross worked in a paediatric unit at a hospital near me I'd have spent most of my time sticking my son's fingers in plug sockets while giving him very large boiled sweets to choke on.

.... in hindsight it's probably really good that Dr Ross left ER in 2000, the year i become a mother :)

speaking of which... this can't be real. can it???!


and these flash cards... i wonder if they really work???! if so, i want them!! i wonder if they have flash cards for teaching dogs not to pee all over people's shoes and not to eat cat poop and not to hump right outside the glass doors when we have polite company.... because if so, i really want those :)

off to bed, hopefully for a nice crime drama and a brownie to settle my tummy xxoxo

today we

• assembled an almost actual size matchbox aircraft carrier before 7am

• ate breakfast at Coco's - it's the best/only way to start a birthday :)

• played with remote control cars!

• and new toy motorcycles!

• put pretty lights around the branches of my favorite japanese maple to make it look less bare
  

• showed Romeo just how well Blackjack still remembers his lessons in obedience school (he seemed unimpressed... Romeo's christmas gift is obedience school :)

• talked with Grandma

• went to Knotts Berry Farm!! and got season passes good for all next year too!
  

• rode some insane spinning chair thing that made me feel really really really odd for the rest of the day
  

• resisted the urge to buy cotton candy x one million
  

• walked in the rain without a care and didn't even get very wet

• bumped into an old friend :)

• forgot to take my iphone with me all weekend long

• went home via McDonalds for the birthday boy and Del Taco for his parents/big brother
  

• watched the royal wedding special on E!

• had the most decadent five layer giant chocolate cupcake in a solid chocolate case with heavy whipping cream/melted chocolate frosting poured all over it (i can't recommend it enough - it's sooo gooooooood!!!)

• all danced to Thriller (me: gingerly... the tennis elbow won't allow for full range of motion zombie arms)
  

• played Guitar Hero... they have a super easy setting now :| i am sure they didn't have it before or i wouldn't be so terrified to play it. only Lego Rock Band had super easy and who wants to play with Lego rock stars??? anyway, i don't know where it came from... but i like it :) i earned $61 playing with R.E.M. :)

• made Danny a CD of all his favorite christmas songs - including the 'chinese christmas song' that he loves (named Feliz Navidad:) and the dreidel song :) his class is putting on a christmas spectacular and he has been singing nonstop:)

• still couldn't look at birthday pics thanks to stupid bridge - grrr :|

• went to bed early to wash away the grime of a theme park with very hot water and neutrogena rainbath :)

p.s. i am crossing my fingers for a new 'Married to Rock' - it's the BEST!!!!

almost six

recovering
from Chuck E Cheese.... every birthday party, i tell myself never again - but this time i mean it! however Danny loved it and has been wearing his birthday medallion and carrying around a knitted mouse named "Chuck E" all day

wondering
if Knotts Berry Farm might be the perfect place to spend Danny's birthday tomorrow - i want to ride more rollercoasters with my kids

looooving
Married to Rock :) it's so completely beyond awesome!

also loving
Danny's reaction to finally getting his beloved pillow pet - so i guess he really DID want one :)

also also loving
white house - my christmas cards arrive on monday (and i was still procrastinating over them yesterday!)

wishing
my tennis elbow would just go away - everything hurts

wanting
to steal the chocolate creamy fudge frosting i made for Danny's birthday cake straight from the pan - it's soooooooooooo rich and wonderful

some snapshots from today... bridge is broken and i can't look at them all

cabins and sore arms and christmas cards

gave up
wearing the arm brace... it's practically impossible to get 5 stars on MJ:the experience wearing an arm brace ;) and pretty much impossible to do everything else too

found/booked
a little cabin in the woods for our Christmas break :) now the fun part: buying all our favorite treats to take with us

made
cornbread for Jerry (the rat: he loves corn ANYTHING!) and ate a whoooole lot of it. sorry Jerry... there are a few crumbs :)

finished
the Christmas card... now i just have to scrutinize it for an hour or two to make sure it isn't too narcissistic (you know the cards i'm talking about :)

watched
that bridalplasty show. not only is it dull as dishwater, but it's totally lame too... maybe it will get better

cupcakes lego and tennis elbow

i am in cupcake production line hell because i r-e-f-u-s-e to slice and serve Costco cake at Danny's birthday party (and take the leftovers home and accidentally eat it all) i am trying to make one ridiculously oversized cupcake for Danny, as per his request in late June (and every week thereafter), and 36 ridiculously-difficult-to-get-just-right chocolate lava cupcakes - grrr, which are even harder to get right when you forget to set the stupid timer on the oven and bake them for one hour instead of 18 minutes :| and the giant cupcake pan isn't even close to nonstick, thanks for nothing, Wilton.... kill me know, i hate it all!!! i hate birthday parties!

also my doctor forbade me to use my right arm to lift anything over 5 pounds for the next two weeks because i have tennis elbow (which really really hurts and i don't even play tennis...) so all this frantic activity is not what the doctor ordered... i should have just bought the sheet cake. maybe i'll just buy the darned sheet cake and feed all the cupcakes to the ducks :) i hope lava doesn't kill them.....

sigh, i have to remember, it's all about Danny - it's Danny birthday. i have to enjoy him and not stress about people having enough to eat because it's 9:30am for gawd's sake. it's going to be a fend-for-yourself kind of party

today is 1 december - the first day of opening little windows on the lego advent calendar :) it's 8am and already Danny has lost the body and the head of today's snowman :| we have dissected the entire couch, searched through the ash in the fireplace (nice) and even swept under the couch (it's reaaaaally bad under there....) still no body or head :| so we have a little lego carrot nose the size of a grain of rice and a little lego broom but nothing to attach them to. and this is why i hate lego that comes in anything but block shape :| it should be banned! all of it!! (except blocks)

back later, off to figure out my daily chores with a huge brace on my infirm arm :|