Tuesday, December 30, 2008

God bless the Sweet Baby Jesus!!

for whhat, you might ask? well for starters our car is fixed! not that it was ever truly broken but that idiotic, terrifying 'check engine' is finally out for GOOD! our mechanic Kevin looked at it and established that when you spin your tires in the snow, it makes the light turn on... then off then on again for no good reason, and it does NOT mean the car is about to explode. i love Kevin!! he is a cooler, much sassier, much cleverer version of David Lee Roth! (and i can gush freely about him seeing as i know there is no way in hell he owns a computer :)

today we went to the Salvation Army as we always do at the end of the year with all our garage clutter to claim our valuable charity receipt for tax purposes :) i loooooove wandering around thrift stores with my honey... i play the role of Simon and my spouse is clearly Jonathan and we try to imagine what THEY would pick up, dust off, gush and hug to their bosoms... nothing remotely fabulous today, but we did get a new "Land Before Time" movie for our littlest dinosaur (and his big brother who secretly adores them too :)

poor poor Britney. we watched some 66 minute show on her last night, where the cameras were allowed to follow her endlessly and nothing was off limits, while she attempted to hide from cameras following her endlessly where everything was off limits... hmm, i didn't really understand that part but gosh darnit, i just love her, she's as cute as a speckled pup. but... sliced, processed, icky cheese in grits? for breakfast?? nope. no siree bob, i couldn't live her life.

for datenight we went to the highly anticipated Haus of Pizza in Costa Mesa. it was sooo yummy! where-oh-where have all these awesome woodpaneled, hole-in-the-wall places been all my life? that pizza was sooooo good and only $6... they even had checkered tablecloths and little plastic baskets of garlic bread... seriously, i need to quit finding endearing things to love about OC, i'm trying to disconnect here :)

another reason we must leave orange county: i put a big old black mark on Danny's library account, by losing one of his dinosaur books. apparently you can lose one book and they don't charge you to replace it but they DO put a note in your file that you are an untrustworthy and utterly flaky charlatan. the thought of my precious baby's record being tarnished in such a way is the final nail in the coffin: we're moving to Cape Cod.

random pictures of very random stuff:
Friday divided by 2
Danny made orange juice from these oranges that were causing a nuisance on our side of the fence and needed to be taken into custody (shh!)
it's finally Fall-ish here!
a very sassy mop in home depot... i am too scared to click on quickie.com ;)
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to think we almost went to CPK.... this pizza was soooooooooo completely yummy
i sooo wish his second front tooth would HURRY UP!!!!!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

speaking of belated ;)


oh and my card from Barry ;) we're like that -> <-

happy... belated... christmas!

is it over...? is it safe to come out from under the covers...? truly, with my hand of my heart, this christmas was not that horrible. au contraire, in fact! my english chocolate stash is full to overflowing, we are anniversary-ing in Cape Cod and my JoMa collection is beautifully replenished with scents like amber and lavender and nutmeg and ginger (the beautifully shaven man in JoMalone says those scents complement one another fabulously:) thank you Santa(s) <3

Sam got the most amazingly fun book from christmas from Santa :) about the various flags and license plates of the states. sounds boring right...? not at all!!! especially the little section for each state "there ought to be a law" - it's soooo funny!! i can't stop reading them and these are the ones i already know by heart:

in New Orleans it's illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it....
in Iowa, kisses must last no longer than 5 minutes and forget it altogether if you have a moustache
oh and if you have just one arm and play the piano you must do it for free :)
in Arkansas, teachers with bobbed hair can be denied a raise (rightly so!)
in Massachusetts, you may eat no more than 3 sandwiches at a wake
in Maine you must tie your shoelaces while walking
in Alaska, you may NOT take your flamingo to the barbershop.... you betcha that governor of theirs will blow it's pretty kneecaps out if she sees you breaking that law (cheeky ;)
in Purdy, Missouri you CAN NOT dance - and FORGET dirty dancing!

and Sam's other book 'the Orphan Train' is compulsive reading! i had to finish it last night even though both boys had dozed off around page 34. i had to make sure the little orphan boy found a home (he did and i could happily drift off to sleep then:)

i should walk but it's cold out there and my iPod is all George Michael. George Michael is strictly warm breeze music, not 57 degrees music.... i need to put some cold weather music on it, but i have no clue what that would be? REM is summer/fall. and you can't powerwalk to Barry. hmm. warm up already!!!!!!!!!!!! our last few days of Bush hell (woohooo!!!!!!!) really are freezing over :)

we are planning to drive to Massachusetts - our "sea to shining sea" dreamdrive. it's only 3033 miles. the roundness of that number is making me think it's entirely possible. it's only mere 14 tanks of gas, 5 nights in Residence Inns, $600 in gas, 16 hour days, 4am get-ups, endless jumping DVDs, living off nutrigrain bars and tictacs.... pictures of chickens playing tic tac toe and skyscraper size longaberger baskets as we whistle past at 100mph.... it's all soooo very doable!

christmas eve...
yuletide morn
christmas lunch with the cousins
yesterday we went fashion valley, san diego
to build Chomp and Bino-Bino, the newest dinos
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and dine at Uno's (Danny had a PB&J of course) Chomp and Bino were very bad dinosaurs and tried to eat each other

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

i am sooooo screwed....

no matter how many times i rifle through aaron's closet, i can't find anything with tags still on that i can rewrap and sheepishly present him with tomorrow. and the printer is sadly in disrepair so a book of "coupons" is out of the question too. sigh... christmas royally sucks!

but there were two sprinklings of happiness today!! we have had this RED warning light in our car for two days. i hate warning lights. they make my heart pound in my chest so hard i think my ribs will crack and my overactive imagination constantly flashes images of us being thrown off the freeway as the car blows up... anyway, i was snapped out of my nightmare daydream while driving on the freeway today, by the light going OUT! and so then of course i wondered if maybe the bulb had died as the car was about to explode ;) but i'm keeping my fingers crossed that whatever the 'emission error' was, was belched out while cranking along the tollroad at topspeed to get to walmart.

which brings me to my second happy tale. i had this brainwave to get Sam an ipod (shhh!) i got home from walmart with it feeling all overwhelmed by the fact that it is blue (and thus clearly subpar) and remembered that i have one in my drawer. it didn't work last time i checked but i am highly untechnical so i gave it to Aaron, who knows everything. seconds later he came back in moonwalking, bodypopping and walking like an egyptian while trying to find his way out of an imaginary box. yes - the ipod had risen from the dead!!! i am soooo getting my money back from Sam Walton.

a note to get tattooed on left hand: never again wait to grocery shop on christmas eve. the woman in front of me had no concept of how to put her groceries on the conveyor belt thing... she put one of the 'next customer please!' bars between each item... from what planet had she just descended??? is this the way you check out of albertsons on mars??? then the cashier insisted that the bargains i had on my section of the conveyor belt were 4 for $5 when i KNEW for a fact they were 5 for $4. i went and singlehandedly tore down the huge sign and handed it to her, little miss Albertson know it all.

segway time... a little video for a certain Brian Culbertson fan... yes Melissa you know who you are. i didn't see a mention of your wonderful valentine night with Brian (and me and Aaron and Barry) mentioned on your highlights of this past year.... surely some mistake ;)??!

my prechristmas gift to myself today was to take pictures of MY OWN FAMILY with good lenses and to photoshop MY OWN FAMILY for hours on end while listening to every single rendition of dance of the sugar plum fairy and eating my finally-deeply-fudgey-brownies ... (2 eggs instead of one is the key :) and never ever ever use eggbeaters!!!!!) MY OWN FAMILY are very cute... and i love them :)

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is it really christmas eve? (....peeks upward from between fingers....)

if so, i am in trouble. and the shops will most likely be nuts today, huh? walgreens must have a gift section :) they must!

the picture of Obama on the beach makes me happy... but sad too. while i enjoy the special gifts Ab-ama brings to the table... i don't know how i feel about someone who is not able to prioritize his time. i mean he's on VACATION... normal people don't work out on vacation! they rest and mildly regret eating a third plate of all-you-care-to-enjoy-chicken and biscuits with sweet and sour pork and a hamburger on the side. but not really - not enough to WORK OUT.... i feel i must deduct 50 points from his score because of this 'leaving the gym' picture. if he was merely soaking in the pool/hot tub at the gym, then i will further review the case. but i will need more pictures :)

and while we're talking about politics. Mr Hair Guyilovic from Illinois? does his hair make anyone else feel twitchy and unsettled? i imagine his hairline must never EVER see daylight and fresh air... it must be riddled with pusules and ingrown hairs. i'm sure it's the very least of his worries, but please Mr Whateverisolivic, two words: supercuts. (well, it's one here in America)

speaking of America... ha, segways, i love them!! (not the nerdy things the polic ride around John Wayne airport on...) i feel i must write to George Michael about something that has been presssing on my mind for 5 months. i don't like Elton John. but that's not it. i want George to take his Vegas spot at Caesars Palace so i can go and see him any day i want (when Bette Midler is on vacation obviously) he'd do it, right? i would see him every single night. no kidding! so he has ONE ticket sold, no questions asked... must find his address today.

rejoice! yesterday i got my fancy disinfectant from the British store i found online. it has been open for SIX ENTIRE YEARS. and it's by the mission viejo mall, one of my most frequented malls on earth. but disguised as an 'african hut'...? why??! i must admit i don't frequent african huts looking for British candy that often (though one of our 7/11s has it) anyway my shopping list read thus:
yummy eccles cakes
zoflora times 7 boxes (i am NOT OCD.... just have olfactory issues)
steak and onion crisps
maltesers (with stars and arrows around the words "in abundance')
dairy milk (lots and lots and lots)
three MALT LOAVES ( they had english bread!)
beef flavored hula hoops
dairy milk with pop rocks
and just because i wanted to dispell the urban legend, i ate dairy milk with pop rocks AND drank a diet coke. and i'm still here to tell the tale ;)

more pics from the snow... yup i know how to use my camera:
following our cousins to the good snow (they know everything!)
which includes sometimes reversing backwards down the mountain to a safer place to play ;)

hours of fun for kids! behind them, hours of fun for men (burning stuff and talking about tools and computer issues) inside hours of fun for mommies (baking cookies, poring over christmas newsletters and talking about favorite pampered chef products)
our night on the town watching linedancing, we totally wanted to get up and join in but they do NOT allow it :)

Monday, December 22, 2008


is this one of those mindboggling puzzles you can only solve if you have two left sides to your brain and no right side? i have tried to squint my eyes and stare til i have bog eyes... but i cannot for the life of me make out the word 'google'... is it just me???

anyway... have i mentioned how much i love opening the mail these days! instead of gross icky pennysaver staining my fingertips and frustrating at&t bills telling me i overpaid on one account and underpaid on the other, my mailbox is filled with heartmeltingly beautiful christmas cards to pore over each day, to study the design and print quality of for hours - a festive feast for the fastidious photoshopper! i absolutely love seeing everyone's handwriting too... oh i wish it could be christmas everyday - well maybe not christmas in all it's decadence, but to receive handwritten notes and cards would be so nice.

i have had a brownie aha moment, which i plan to act upon tomorrow... too late tonight. i think eggbeaters are killing my brownies and making them crumby and cakelike, when i want them dense and fudgy. we'll see... watch this space

another lifechanging finding. there is a disinfectant from England that i am addicted to... yes it's tragically lame but true. i have searched high and low for it here. i even begged my Mum to mail it to me but she is scared the post office will label her a terrorist for mailing liquids (only slightly flammable.....) and is too scared to take the risk. i knew i had seen a store somewhere in the US that sold it but could i find it... nooooo. anyway i just did... and guess where it is... uhuh - here in orange county! so i'm going to splash out tomorrow on some fancy new disinfectant for christmas (tragically lame is an understatement:)
today we spent yet another insanely freezing but fun day in the snow:
Sam loves animals (these are his cousins' pets):
finally found something lovable about mac :)

from our weekend in the snow

Friday, December 19, 2008

57 degrees

we're supposed to be in vegas. but we're not. it snowed and i refuse (RE-FUSE) to sit in traffic looking at tail lights for 9 hours on that snake of a freeway so we canceled. this is the second trip we have had to cancel. i'm not bitter..................................................................................

i have had a dustcovered note on my desk for 4 days to remind me to look up what the female name "Marky" is short for... so far i have found nothing but a ton of naked pictures of Marky Mark (who has three nipples, you know...) but no info about what Marky is short for. sigh. it's not important in the grand scheme of things but it does keep me up at night...

yesterday we went to the lakeshore learning center. as cute as that store is....it makes me heave. they have this cd that they play (nonstop i should add) of children singing the beatles. i am a beatles fan... no-one can make the beatles sound better than the beatles... but children singing lifelessly and out of tune for nauseating HOOUUURS while i try to get my purchase to be more than $50 to cash in my coupon.... save me from certain death! i am NEVER going back, i don't care if the coupon is $50 off $50... no siree bob, you can't make me!

if you love Britney (for all the wrong reasons) this clip is essential viewing :)

our weekend so far:
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

charley says...

show your children this video :)

and this one ;)

some say it's a hard life...

but it's hard for us all.... so, what the heck is up with that bitter mom from jon and kate plus eight? she needs some kind of attitude adjusting medication! she is sooooooo mean to her husband... and not even in a fun way!

and don't get me wrong, i love meanness.... i jump to record shows with uncontrollable outbursts of anger (flipping out is number ONE priority on my DVR, record all episodes, repeats, everything, forever!) but kate...??? whhhhat on earth would Michelle (noncomplainer) Obama make of her? or Robin McGraw, who has NEVER raised her voice, not once in 27 years?? i mean, like 8 kids is hard???!

why oh why does Johnny Cash say he 'felled' into a burning ring of fire. it's FELL..... maybe i need my ears checked...

Danny today asked his Daddy to 'put his eye on him' instead of keep an eye on him - gawsh i love him!!!!!!! he's so completely squishy and lovely.

this sucks - i lost my (little silver) faith yesterday... i bought it at joanns on sale and now i can't find it anywhere :( sigh... i am sure this is some kind of 'subliminal message' to have more respect for my faith instead of telling the cashier to not bother putting it in a bag because it would fit right in my pocket :)

today it rained again... the planes flew the opposite way out of john wayne airport and of course we went to watch. he was freezing cold but it was worth the double hats for :)
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target - this is 'greatland' though it should be called absolutely-average-land. Danny can turn any toys into predator versus prey
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at the crystal court! it was all fun and games til the meltdown over an unsharable T Rex at lunch... (note to self: always always keep a spare T Rex in purse)
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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

my former infatuation with costco is starting to dwindle. my cons list is longer than my pros list for the first time ever. and seeing as i figured out bullet points... i made a list:)
  • you have to flash your badge when you walk in... it makes me feel like a cop and i don't like it
  • the awful awful awful free samples (that i always burn the roof of my mouth on:) surrounded by impatient mobs clawing each other to death for the good samples like CPK and cream puffs. seriously it's like the baggage reclaim at LAX... but there is no security
  • Steve at the tustin ranch costco (he knows why :)
  • the cafeteria picture of the golden sugary 24 inch long churro leading me into temptation everytime i see it
  • and finally... the last thing i absolutely ABHOR about costco... the smily face receipt artist/dragon at the exit who one must brave in order to leave
sigh... .. i am sooooo NOT renewing my executive membership which i am sure will plunge Costco into receivership as a result... you just watch

Santa Claus visited Danny's preschool today. while he was very excited about the little sticker book Santa gave him, Danny apparently grilled him relentlessly as to why his reindeer were nowhere in sight and how he had got to preschool without his sleigh :) gawd love him!

OK, who would name a kid Adolph Hitler (Cambell)??
"The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child's full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance." According to Adolph's Daddy, our new president has called for change so allowing swastikas on kid birthday cakes is clearly the first area where we need to work on :|

off to bed via the kitchen for some hot chocolate ... it is totally freezing here (37 degrees yesterday, i am not kidding!)

Sam's Greentown is complete!
you know it's cold when these two cuddle up together
still experimenting with those softboxes...

Monday, December 15, 2008

mundane monday

today it rained. aLOT. no, i don't ever say "alot" but i do ponder endlessly about such tragically simple misspellings - such as alot - and can't help but wonder what poor spellers were doing in third grade instead of studying their little hearts out for spelling tests

anyway.... it isn't supposed to rain in Southern California - Barry Manilow even recorded a song about it. but he's quite right, when it does rain, it totally pours. i hate having wet feet almost as much as i hate having to put on shoes and having to put on shoes and STILL having wet feet is the pits! it never rained this hard in the United Kingdom, Barry... but it probably wouldn't make such a great song. his Graham Norton appearance finally aired on Saturday... gawd how i looooooove Barry Manilow... i would totally adopt a dog from his animal shelter if i wasn't already up to the maximum allowance

speaking of... is Angelina Jolie REALLY pregnant with more twins or have i been reading too many checkout stand "news" articles? between you and me, i have never really liked her especially once she said she didn't speak to her father (who was THE Midnight Cowboy so i was on HIS side:).... and then i was so clearly on Team Aniston in 2004. anyway i have tried so hard to like her, but my showbiz spy Melissa said she never ever spoke to her kids at school pickup (tisk). Brad - RUN and get that operation! or just plain RUN like the wind and don't look back!!! ps... i am pretty sure he and George Clooney are a couple but you didn't hear it from me ;) talk about *aHOT* couple... but you know what they say, all the hot ones are gay :)

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at the pet store visiting the cats in need. apparently Danny is looking forward to our cats dying so he can give these NICE cats, who don't hiss, good homes :)
he also wants a parrot...
and some "bawack mowwies"
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my third favorite house in the hood... the old man who lives here is like 132 years old and walks like a tortoise but gawd he is a total genius:)
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Sam's new smile (thanks Aaron...)
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happy days in Costco - we once saw a huge rat by the bread racks there, but i still shop there
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i love profiles. aLOT :)