Tuesday, August 30, 2011

migraines dolphins and gummie bears

i have had a headache for three days straight :| one of those dangerous blinding headaches that makes red lights seem to change to green when they're still red (it happened! and it's very dangerous! maybe i shouldn't be driving... but i love my car so so much!!! it's so dreamy to drive! and much quieter than the house, that's for sure:) and makes you have to sleep upside-down and eat a yogurt at midnight because maybe you're just hungry...? i hate headaches!!! and running out of peace potion - deadly :|

admittedly we spent the entire weekend in glorious sunny San Diego, frolicking at a beeeeaaaautiful ocean park and playing with friendly grinning dolphins, so i shouldn't complain ;)

today i am back to my dreadful cruel walking regime (with headache, i might add... life is such a bitch) i am walking to Trader Joe's for ginger cat cookies and Walgreen's to get some magic gummie bears that i read online will make me feel full- hopefully the gummie bears cancel out the need for so many ginger cats :) how i love this new candy medicine craze! i even have some calcium fudge! i want to invent pickled onion crisps that contain aleve - because that i would buy (hmm but probably overdose... it should come with a BIG warning on the side for piggies like me :)

i am in a mad inventing mood again - last night while tossing and turning i invented a large icepack thing that goes under a mattress pad to keep you cool all night - wouldn't that be so awesome? like a whole body chillow (gawd i want a chillow SO BADLY, and not just because i love marketing plays on words - but alas i am hopeless at remembering to do things like take it out of the freezer at night and put it back in the morning and if i forgot i would start to really resent the chillow's existence... plus putting something full of bed bugs and sweat in the freezer just sounds grossly unhygienic to me... though i am sure the cold would kill the bed bugs and the sweat beads would just drop off ;) hmm, i wonder how the chillow would fit... aha, in a large chest freezer!!! which we don't have... hmm, back to the drawing board :|

off to slather myself with SPF 70 and walk in 100 degree heat 8 miles uphill all the way - life is good as good people everywhere would proclaim!

a game of croquet before cake

this park was full of big pieces of cheese :)

they were begging for snowballs (ohhh... the cuteness hurt my teeth!!!)

speaking of cute: that smile

i love that the lady behind felt the need to smile for our picture :)

one for the christmas card

best Marina EVER!!!!

little girls shyly got their picture taken with her - she's like a Disney princess!

Friday, August 26, 2011

smiles playdates and sunshine

Danny's chipped/filed/chipped/filed yellowish front tooth finally came out!! his new smile and new lisp ith thoooo cute!!!!

Sam signed up for middle school!! and it's going to be OK! even though he finishes school at 2:28 and Danny at 2:30 at completely different schools :|

made pumpkin bread and immediately had to freeze it so i don't eat the whole darned loaf in one sitting (i think pumpkin should be a controlled substance)

dreamt i found the perfect canoe roof rack system thingie (sigh... if only it wasn't just a dream.... minus one point for the Sienna: useless crossbars)

had 4 cups of coffee for breakfast each day... this tactic for being vivacious and feeling wide awake was suggested by my doctor. i bet Dr Oz would know exactly how many minutes each cup of coffee is taking off my life - he is such a debbie downer)

wore New West because it was like totally that kind of hazy sunshiney week ;)

had a playdate with the sweetest bunch of boogie boarding beach boys and camera wielding moms ever at Bolsa Chica - it's so cool there and our beach pass even works!

finally extinguished the darned 5000 mile oil change warning light... warning lights: VERY bad :| they are depressing and demanding and impatient too!

had a playdate with the sweetest almost-first graders ever... they get on so well together and they have never ever had a falling out - and the moms are the nicest ever, which makes for wonderful playdates :)

made melon/banana/grape/carrot/spinach smoothies. to be honest they are more 'gritties' than 'smoothies' - i need to blend them longer i think. but they are NOT bad!!! they just look really bad ;)

watched Dr Oz - he is such a scare monger, today he wrung his heads in glee as he announced that every single woman in the world will have prolapsed private parts in her lifetime... he is so depressing! how about we just worry that if when it happens? surely all the worrying about things before they even happen is bad for us too? who invented Dr Oz? and what purpose does he actually serve??! i wish he would go away :|

booked a stay at our all-time favorite A frame beach house :) NO RAIN ALLOWED! (softbox skies A-OK)

listened to the Smiths and woefully missed Manchester and the smell of diesel and rain

vacuumed a pile of sand out of my purse (sign of a week well spent :)

swam three times and floated on a big squishy lounger thingie for hours on end

watched Downsized and loved the dad even more this week (he is SO NICE!!)

saw the softer side of that mean penguin, Gage, on Flipping Out this week - he was nice to the poorly pup so that makes me like him 10% more :)

hung out with this sweet little WALKING baby :) he is soooooo cute!!!

his new smile :)

and his new smile :)

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

oh for the love of Gordon Ramsay

i am sick - the gnashing teeth and hair tear out kind of SICK with regret and self loathing and hatred for my inability to make good choices :( this weekend we wanted to go boogie boarding. i wanted to go to Broad Beach, Malibu, but instead i decided that Crystal bloody Cove would be so much easier. and do you know who was surfing on Broad bloody Beach that afternoon...? Gordon Ramsay and David Beckham with no shirts on, that's who!! (bangs head on table and grinds teeth) and their children who are similar ages to my children, thus we would inevitably get talking, realise (not realize) we are all English and become bestest friends and end up hanging out for dinner with GORDON RAMSAY COOKING and DAVID BECKHAM playing footie with the boys!!! i have only one word: ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! summer is officially almost over... no more trips to the beach to go boogie boarding :(

on a more positive topic, i read online you should change out your workout or it will stop being effective. so my 8 week sabbatical from walking is perfectly acceptable then? horray! i return to my march of the pigs exercise regime next week :( to replace the "back to school blues" with mean "hey! i'm walkin' here!" reds :)

yesterday Aaron went to Burbank to interview for Wipeout :| i am scared (secretly) that he will throw his back out and be crippled for life, but also quite excited about the prize money!!! because for sure he's going to win!!!!

today i intend to use my fancy cookie stamping kit to make diet cookies that say positive things like 'a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips' and 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels' (which i absolutely don't agree with.... clearly this person has never tasted factory fresh slightly melty cadbury's freddo frogs) but i am sure i won't make them... roll-out sugar cookies = work of the devil)

i also need to go to Walmart :| because Costco doesn't sell peanut butter :| seriously? my child only eats TWO things: peanut butter and french fries - he is the quintessential all American boy! and Costco sell neither! i blame Michelle Obama (yes i do love her... but would also struggle to find anything to share with her, other than liking J Crew also, at a backyard barbecue.... i can't even grow potatoes... we yielded FOUR golf ball sized potatoes...) also need to go to the Costco for vitamins. because apparently my multivitamins aren't doing a damned thing and greek yogurt isn't some magical potion to make you healthy :|

note to self: DO NOT GET SUCKED IN AND END UP BUYING A VITAMIX AT COSTCO! it looks sooooo cool!! and awesome too! it makes Jamba Juice and peanut butter and soup and playdoh! and hummus too! but it's $450 :| for a (very old fashioned looking) countertop appliance :| that's Oprah money :|

in other news: Friday has lost her voice :( she has been yelling at the foster kitties so much lately, she is now hoarse and raspy :( poor old lady cat - she's starting to look very elderly too... small children will do that to you, Friday...) currently she is shaping her claws into talons as her new form of self defense.... watch out kitties!!

also in other news: Prid actually works! (on some things, at least!) i bought it to hopefully miraculously remove the huge lump from my tummy (which didn't go so well...) but on Monday i got a really deep humungous splinter in my finger and boy was i excited - this is just what Prid was actually invented for!! so i put it on and the next day when i took off the bandaid the splinter was out!!! gasp!! i hate splinters!! it's a miracle! i can't imagine how much being stabbed or impaled hurts when a splinter leaves me incapacitated for days ;)

off to do some 'shoping' and 'tiddying' up :) when i see hopeless spelling i just 'loose' it!!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

vitamin b, come fly with me and dentistry

woke up with a bee in my bonnet to:
  • construct a shelf for behind the couch to sit pictures, flowers and attractive curios on
  • print all the pictures i have been meaning to print for all the friends i've promised them to (a lot...... took 37 minutes to send to Costco)
  • extract large tic tac shaped thingie from chin using tweezers (seriously my favorite thing ever!)
  • go to the beach with boogie board
  • clean out the closet and create a cat bedroom (soooooo many cats)
  • buy vitamin B and hope it works and gives me lots of energy :)

well, it did! it's 9pm i have successfully completed every task on my list!! there is even time leftover for some burnt toast and a couple of episodes of come fly with me:) Sam's test results arrived and he is officially a genius, though we didn't doubt it for a second ;) also his mouth is doing pretty good... however his smile looks very different now and he's living off Jamba Juice and pain killers :( and Danny's smile is about to change radically - his two remaining top and bottom front teeth are hanging by a thread! watch this space..........

pics from the beach:

Thursday, August 18, 2011

very fascinating things about Legoland

they let Volvo drivers park for free - which just irks me before i ever set foot outside the car :|

but it gets better, because you can park right outside the gates - no tram ride or 1.5 mile walk required (it's a good thing!)

they don't let you take cameras on rides "for safety reasons", but really because they want you to buy their crappy $10 ride pictures :|

oh and the rides are really really really lame - like, ridiculously lame! they make Disneyland look like Knotts Berry Farm! and they make Knotts Berry Farm look like Magic Mountain!!

one thing to love about Legoland - they don't look inside your purse (which is great for terrorists and PB&J smugglers) and the restroom doors go all the way to the floor so no-one can move their head side to side fast so they can see you :)

everyone under 3 is magnetically drawn to hug my legs instead of their mother's :|

a wave of relief rushed over me today, while consoling a mom in mid-nervous-breakdown, about how frustrating and stressful and just plain awful a day at a theme park can be (horray!! i am normal!!! well kind of... there are two of us, at least! :)

they actually have a wood-fired pizzeria :| but it took the 107 year old cashier sooooo long to serve us after explaining to each and every customer in the line how to save 35 cents by swapping the fountain drinks for bottled drinks, it was congealed and cold by the time we ate it :| but i am sure it was just great warm ;)

the pools all seem to be no more than 2 feet 6 inches deep - as Danny said, they are perfect if you want to pretend to be a penguin (maybe that is what they were thinking...)

there is not one single solitary place to sit in the water park - every single chair is 'reserved' with a towel :| and if you do happen to get lucky and find a chair, it isn't a lovely soft reclining lounger thingie, noooo - it's a plastic lawn chair with no foot rest :| not like Las Vegas at all............

this was our third time at Legoland and i am thinking it will never grow on me :| and that's OK :) because i much prefer Knotts Berry Farm ;)

pictures of our fabulous day:
yes i took my camera on the rides - nobody puts my camera in the corner :|

Lego AND Star Wars :| (just TOO much fun!!!)

Aaron had to point at Sam so we don't confuse him with Chewbacca :)

"maybe we're missing something really fun....?" they wondered

fun fact: for the price of one day at Legoland, a family of four could vacation in Las Vegas for 5 days (and that includes daily resort fee!)

boy scouts finally paid off - they knew how to build perfect racing cars :)

practicing for his Wipeout audition - he won the race!

off to bed - back tomorrow post surgery :| xoxox

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

it's time again....

to neatly sweep together an imaginary pile of horrible things, so i may fantasize about steamrolling over them, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, until they are obliterated from society!

the Millionaire Matchmaker:
that woman is so crude. and so not attractive. and so unladylike. and a gold digger too :| and now she thinks she's Nancy Botwin :| annnnnd hello!! if she has such a high success rate why does every couple only go out for one date then never see each other again??! and why is she single and 55???!

the mom from 'Downsized':
if she couldn't pay the rent for the house in which her eleventeen children live, why was she still spending hundreds of dollars a month on Starbucks and not making her own coffee at home... she actually got mad at her financial advisor for bringing it up, because she apparently needs those specialty $5 coffees for medicinal reasons ;) she lost me right then and there. and i feel so sorry for her hubbie, because he is sooo nice, and such a great Dad to her FIVE CHILDREN (doesn't she get child support? or payment for being on the show? why can't i relax and just enjoy, instead of asking my phone these questions?!) now he wants to go to Missouri, because Missouri loves company and he would actually MAKE MONEY there :) but she says "nooooo!" and is mad at him for even thinking about it.... oh gawd, i want to shake that woman!!! and give her a dramatic, sobering slap across the face like they do in soap operas :)

that horrific Stacey from Flipping Out:
first of all, she's mean. and beyond rude too! and soooo not funny - i think she thinks she's funny and sassy but she's not - she's just crass. and secondly, she's ugly!!! but even if she wasn't... i would always always always be on Jenny's side in ANY situation, no questions asked, because i like Jenny. even more than Jeff. and i L-O-V-E Jeff! :) still hate Gage though....

Amber from Teen Mom:
a theme is emerging... a lot of crap TV :) i've had a severe pain in my sawdust for the past week and that's my excuse for this mindless TV watching/recuperating mode ;) sore teeth... sore tummy... sore elbow... sore fingers... sore neck... the list goes on and on....

any loud, gross, balding republican who sweats profusely, has a roll of neck fat hanging over his shirt collar and wears tassel shoes:
even if i wasn't a true blue democrat, i would be just looking at republican men versus democrat men ;) they're just so much easier on the eye :)

Trader Joe's in Crystal Cove:
i know it's beeeautiful in Crystal Cove... and it overlooks the pacific ocean... and Trader Joe's is just sooooo full of yummy things that give the illusion that one can cook a fancy meal.... and there's also a Gap and Williams Sonoma next door... but there is not a more hostile, more sterile, personality-void, robotic place on earth than this Trader Joe's :( everyone looks taut and cold blooded and reptilian... it actually feels more horrible than horrible Tustin Ranch Costco :| the people at our TJs are so nice (and cute too!) and if you find the turtle they give you a lolly and stickers too! not so in Crystal Cove :|

Talking Tom:
the cat from the talking cat app is stalking me :| yesterday i got a text message asking if i missed him...? when i looked again it was GONE. most creepy......

going back to school
it's two weeks away and i don't want summer to end :( EVER! i love the endless mornings that fade into lazy afternoons and overnighters to Vegas and playdates that last till 9pm and not having to make horrible lunchmeat lunches or clockwatch to get to school on time.... i miss summer and it's not even over yet :(

sigh... next: some pretty pictures to cleanse my soul and turn the negative ions upside-down :)

today Danny made cupcakes all by himself, for Sam's birthday tea (still trying to get the perfect "candles" picture for his birthday book:) messy, but very yummy :)

surgery: friday :( i hope his smile doesn't change too much.... he has his Dad's twinkling, wonderful, charismatic smile

at Crystal Cove Beach

he found a dragonfly wing in the sand (good eyes:) and a matchbox car and a little rubber ball :)

when Megan grows up she wants to be spaghetti cat :)

we love the Obama statue

his new obsession: reading :) longest word read to date: "aaaargghhh!!"

off to Legoland tomorrow - pics and sob stories about how expensive* it is soon :) xxoxo

*VERY expensive! bwuddy expensive :)