Friday, August 31, 2012

friday pics

in the faraway tree on the saddest last playdate of the Summer :(


he got Julius with his happy meal just for me :)

i want a snickerdoodle yellow house


Sam - he loves the Olive Garden, Hotel Hell and Coldplay too :)

he does NOT love me taking his picture all the time ;)

here he was officially pissed off with me :|

goldfish, really long songs and Clint Eastwood :|

pizza goldfish (there really needs to be a patch.  i am never ever buying pizza goldfish ever again, i swear.  same goes for Target pizza chickadees too!!)

to T songs today (i'm much too lazy, unimaginative and A.D.D. to make actual playlists ;)  i finally found a version of 'Thieves Like Us' that is 3:58 long that i can listen to in it's entirety (though it still makes me horribly achey and homesick for lame things like diesel fumes, cigarette smoke and Strangeways)

that Trader Joe has his pumpkin loaf mix in stock tomorrow.... because it's September!!!!!!!!!!!

if that Clint Eastwood thing made anyone else feel really uncomfortable and itchy... it was like waiting behind a conversation-starved old man picking up a prescription in Walgreens.  only much more painful and awkward to witness. if i ever get that jittery/repetitive/senile/sloooooooow, for everyone's sake, someone pleeeeeeease smother me in my sleep :|

wondering also
if it's wrong to instantly disregard someone's reviews and opinions, because they can't spell.... it really shouldn't matter (but for some reason transposed letters instantly invalidate words) 

trying to decide
between subway and pizza for dinner. it's an absolute tie, i can't decide because i love them both so much.... and i still, after 16 years of trying, don't get rock paper scissors :| 

to the Dog Beach tomorrow - shhh, don't tell the dogs!!!!  and on the way stop for a blueberry donut ;)

shameful confessions (that i'm not really ashamed of...)

i haven't been to real life confession since about 1982 ;)

i always made up the acceptable white lies i confessed to anyway ;) 

i never said the hail marys afterwards either ;)

i can't make eye contact (and definitely not ear contact) with people who have torn earlobes (even typing that makes me ill)

i don't flush public toilets with my foot ever - i think it's so lame and germophobic (and to prove it, i never get sick ;)

i won't waste my calories on broken alphabet cookies :(

i wish horrible things upon people who don't take two seconds to hold the door for me

i think Mitt Romney is really gross and even if he was a democrat i still wouldn't vote for him because he is not a charming man

i hate that robotic amphibian Ann Romney even more than Mitt ;)

i would never, no how, no matter how pretty the scenery, no matter how storybook the house, live in a red state :| 

i can't stand that nose snort that (certain) men do - it should be grounds for murder

i don't like Chicago (except the bean, which i love)

i think Portia de Rossi is not nearly good enough for sweet Ellen :(

i never buy anything organic - i think it's ungrateful and pointless and i think Whole Foods is the biggest waste of money ever (in my opinion ;)

i will never buy henley shirts

i never donate a dollar at the checkout

i say fuck waaaaaaay too often :|  i only wish i could blame tourrettes....

i instantly fell in love with Barack knowing that he says fuck waaaaaay too often also :)

i have a map on my phone and on my computer and in my car of every star's home in L.A. and even though i try really hard to respect their privacy, i just can't ;)

Thursday, August 30, 2012

meerkats, the olive garden and birthdays

'I'm Having Their Baby' which i loooove.  but also occasionally kind of hate when the birth mother decides at the last minute to keep the baby, like in today's episode.  i have PTSD for the adoptive mom for weeks after, i can't even imagine how nightmarish and horrible that would be.... that's why i loved Juno so much (and Catelynn and Tyler from 16&pregnant) for being able to see the bigger picture even on the saddest day ever, and being true to their word (and also because Juno was sooooo funny)

ps Catelynn and Tyler are real people, right?!     

Danny to the library.  urgh, that place makes me feel like the most inferior un-tiger mom ever.  i hate reading, i hate quiet, boring places filled with mean, starey-eyed people, so naturally i despise the library.  we got picture books about meerkats while all the tiger moms knelt on their kids to make them read longer words faster with no complaining - blah, i'm more of a meerkat mama ;)  except i don't eat scorpions.  OK, more of a fluffy tabby cat mama :)

gave up
diet coke till 2pm.  then gave up giving up diet coke because YOLO and you should NEGU and you only regret what you give up, not what you try to give up, or something....

yummy peanut butter and banana sandwiches for lunch (but not fried like in Elvis' recipe ;)

set up
a date with Sam tonight to a fancy place called the Olive Garden (which i unapologetically love)  he loves the Olive Garden too :)

to make Sam's birthday book - so i am working on it as i type ;)

birthday morning in Vegas

driving through Red Rock Canyon, NV

cure for a pinched finger (sang to the tune of Smooth Criminal ;)
alphabet cookies needs punctuation marks :|

thursday wants

i really really really want to go to see that Burning Man thingie this weekend in NV but it's 12 hours and 1 minute away (which means 8 hours in real life) and i really don't want to go that badly ;) 

however it's only 2 hours 43 minutes to the Salton Sea (2 hours in real life) and it's so spooky and cool there.... but also hot, ohh sooooooo blisteringly hot in late Summer... hmm.  but if i can't get my phone to work there, forget it altogether ;)

our beach pass expires tomorrow and i must admit i am a little bit relieved - sunshine and free parking equals no excuse ever to stay at home ;) 

last night i had the most ahhhhhmazing veggie delite sandwich from Subway with sweet onion sauce and avocado, it's all i have been able to think about since :) 

i cannot stand quotes like this from that stupid dumbass pinterest: "don't be afraid to fail, be afraid not to try".  pinterest in general is pissing me off.... all the recipes suck (if they were good recipes, i'd have them already), all the crafts are crappy and amateur, none of the cleaning supplies work as well as a good old bottle of bleach, and all the lameass quotes make my eyes hurt from constant eye rolling

i want a warm blueberry donut from M&M - i have to see what everyone on yelp is talking about (i am sure they suck but i must try one for myself ;)

i also want to try the dole whip at the Hill-Top Creamery in Greenwich, RI and at Sundaes in Seekonk, MA (even though i don't particularly like the name Seekonk...) with Angela ;)  i am pretty sure they can't possibly live up to the awesomeness of the Disney dole whips but maybe if we take our own little cocktail umbrellas, they might...??! 

i also want a tank of baby starfish  - i saw some on instagram and they are so cute!! 

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

kitty cats, chocorooms, cuddles, oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies, sweet little puppies and earthquake faces

sweet wednesday loves

morning snuggles... enjoying the last few perfect lazy Summer mornings while we can

extra sweet extra creamy coffee for breakfast in the magical Mickey Mouse cup

Beverly Hills Nannies - it's an estrogen fueled train wreck and i LOVE it

Catelynn and Tyler but gosh, i'll miss their sweetness so much

this cool reversing camera on the car

sparkly multicolored nails courtesy of Nordstrom

dreaming that my iPhone has fallen into a million pieces and waking up to find it sleeping peacefully and perfectly beside me - i PROMISE i am buying it a real case today!!

PB2 - it makes the best (slightly healthier) peanut butter and banana sandwiches

this adorably 'fluffy' cat :)

the 'hide' button on facebook.... invented (i am sure) by nobel-peace-prize-winning emotionally-stable Barack Obama so we can all simply hide our annoying friends during election season instead of unfriending them

this flowchart - i couldn't agree more.... but there really needs to be a veggie pointer because i am soooooo sick of meat eaters invading the veggie side ;)

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

tuesday in pictures


Monday, August 27, 2012

guilty pleasures & bitter disappointments

guilty pleasures....

  • Little Caesars crazy bread (the only thing that's crazy is the price!)
  • Gallery Girls
  • Trader Joe's Ginger Cats - which i have given up, kind of.... 
  • Trader Joe's Quadratini cookies - which i have totally 100% given up, except for in emergencies
  • sneaking grapes before checking out at the grocery store (i am not sure if this is technically stealing or just sampling)
  • Jo Malone and Chanel and Guerlain and Philosophy etc etc etc
  • dole whips 
  • twirly swirly pretty skirts
  • buying a new song and playing it 37 times in a row
  • really really jelly donuts which are very hard to find anywhere but Massachusetts and the sole reason i want to live there (OK, Bertucci's too - i love Bertucci's!! and also the Christmas Tree Shop!! and that Target there has Goldfish bread!!!)
  • Neutrogena anti-residue shampoo, which i admit to using much more often than is recommended on the bottle but i don't even care about the consequences
  • Maltesers - biting them perfectly in half needs to be an Olympic sport: i'd practice everyday for hours on end
  • Teen Mom which ends tomorrow, which is going to be the saddest thing ever - i hate High School Moms :(
  • reading these funny 'lady pen' reviews at
  • watching Nate Berkus: not listening or learning anything from his show, just watching :)
  • Neighborhood Market (loooove it!)

bitter disappointments....

  • Fresh and Easy (hate it!  and it's a British grocery store! i wanted to love it but it just suuuucks)
  • RHONY this season - how i miss Simon and Alex and Bethanny and yes even that awful nutty Kelly!!!
  • Priscilla Presley for not being a virgin on her wedding night - i always thought she and Elvis had waited...?  :(
  • Steak N Shake - i hate that place
  • Mark Wahlberg's 'third nipple' which is just an overrated mole
  • Ruby's and Red Robin's endless french fries - they deliberately make them horrible and lardy white so you won't ask for refills
  • it being the last full week of Summer break  :(   :(    :(

Coldplay R.E.M and Elvis

from too much teeth grinding - must.stop.doing.that.  but how?  i bit right through my mouthguard because it felt so lovely and squishy ;)

the very strong coffee again but with no evil Trader Joe's cookies.  because i am giving them up (she claimed on this unlikely-to-be-life-changing Monday morning)

the sun wasn't always so bright and happy.  i want neeeeeeed a rainy day and a completely valid excuse to not go out all day but sit at home, listen to music, read and drink coffee

i'll go to Nordstrom and try on shoes, which might just be the next best thing to a rainy day ;)

to 'Everyday Is Yours To Win' and loving/missing/needing R.E.M. soooo much :(  i secretly think they broke up because Michael Stipe started to look like Billy Joel.... a cautionary tale of what eating meat will do to you ;)

Chris Martin would just slow down while (beeeeeautifully) playing this R.E.M. song but completely loving every second of it anyway.  but really, 'Nightswimming' over 'Sweetness Follows' and 'Find The River'...? and 'Be Mine' and 'At My Most Beautiful'....?  and 'Perfect Circle' and 'Supernatural Superserious'...? really really??!  i had no clue he was a fan too (but how could he not be...?  he's such a lovely charming man and the American woman in me loooooves his cute little British accent... p.s. accents can't be little or big... cute: definitely - little: never ;)

this version of this song by Elvis.  we don't have fist fights very often, but we do fight to the death over stupid things like who is the nicer sibling: Max or Ruby and Aaron thinking the Willie Nelson version is better than the Elvis version of 'Always On My Mind' (when in all honesty, we both secretly agree that the best version is the Pet Shop Boys and both Max and Ruby are rotten little brats ;)
p.s. oh my gawwwd, we really WERE in Elvis' house - my picture is in the video!!!  i knew it was really Graceland!!!!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

the trick is to keep breathing..........

so blah and hopelessly down today.  maybe it's the acid reflux.  combined with a little lot of worrying.... or that it's a dumb Sunday (i hate Sundays) or that Summer's almost over.  or realizing that there really is no emotional grey area in my world between love and hate.   it's just one of those evil good-for-nothing kind of days where there just isn't enough personal space in the world for me not to feel stabby and sweary to everyone around me

Trader Joes quadratini cookies and drinking extra extra extra strong coffee for medicinal purposes.  which means i'll never ever get to sleep tonight

to Elvis Presley for medicinal reasons also.... if he can't fix something, it really truly is broken ;)  his voice has magical healing properties, i'm sure of it (as does Graceland.... if i lived in TN i'd have an annual pass) 

a new UK passport.  and UK passports for the boys too.  and to research a brand new UK passport for Aaron... and surely all this would be easier to do in the UK? ;)

if McDonalds in England has veggie burgers

these were all supposed to be random pics till i realized they are all of black and white animals ;)


Saturday, August 25, 2012

every second of today

woke up and snuggled for an hour and watched Montel Williams infomericals in bed - he's selling juice and compression underwear these days
also watched Law and Order, i used to really dislike that curly-haired Lupo guy because he was Earl, the meanie husband, in the Waitress ;) 

had coffee and ginger cats for breakfast ;)
couldn't find my green mint Aero and no-one will admit to stealing it (eye roll)

drove to L.A. in record time

(such record time that my coffee was still too hot to drink when we got there ;)

got hopelessly lost in Griffith Park like we always always seem to do - stupid clueless GPS

passed the Greek Theater that i have never actually been to a concert at, but have had tickets for a million times but i'm always too chicken on the day 

went to the Observatory

checked off the lame-ish statue of James Dean on my roadside attractions app

found a movie set and dared Aaron to steal a donut but he said he'd rather just buy one ;) 
took a peek into the make-up area - it was so cool!

found the donut factory but changed our minds about 'needing' donuts ;)

 stopped at Business Costco to play with cash registers and time stamp thingies

almost died of hunger looking at all those yummy aisles and escaped with just $130 worth of nutritionally void chips and soda

had very berry sundaes and chocolate yogurt and they were sooooo good!

went to the oldest McDonalds in the entire world and the museum too 
in 1955 McDonalds only had one golden arch 

we didn't have lunch there because they didn't have salad and that's all i can eat - McDonalds needs a veggie burger so badly because i love to eat there but i won't eat meat, no way no how :(

drove to another McDonalds but then decided we weren't actually that hungry

stopped at the foulest Walmart ever for school supplies and felt dirty and sickish

made a mercy dash to our favorite mexican restaurant

got stuck in a funeral procession - honestly i don't ever want a funeral procession for people to get stuck behind for hours on end

watched that autopsy show - i wish they wouldn't warn of graphic content then blur it all out

watched Bridezillas so Aaron can see just how fortunate he is to have me and my sweet unzilla ways ;)
pored over yelp looking for dole whips in OC.... found out there's a House of Dole in L.A. - arggghhhh!

wore a swirly skirt and twinset for datenight and felt uncomfortably like Michelle Obama

had a dole whip and Aaron had peanut butter icecream (he's so nice: i wanted to try both ;)
it wasn't as good as the one at the Tiki Room at Disneyland but i think that was because the little umbrella and glace cherry and 100 degree weather were missing :(

 went to the Japanese dollar store and couldn't decide which ear pick or digital watch or cute stationery or cosplay wig to buy

ended up buying nothing at all because i'm indecisive/frugal/lame like that

drove home listening to Roxy Music

Aaron told me they sound like the Stooges and i should check out them out

looked at my foggy L.A. pictures and asked if we can go back when it's clearer :)
opened bills - we never need to pay our gas/cell phone bills ever again, we are sooooo ridiculously in credit :|

tried to make a tumblr but couldn't decide which theme and gave up 
next: shower and a little Hotel Hell (i looooove that show ;)


Friday, August 24, 2012

the mentalist and more

to "Jane Says" by Janes Addiction, the only live song i like.  except "Breaking Glass" from Stage by David Bowie for o-b-v-i-o-u-s reasons.....

to go to Griffith Park Observatory tomorrow as well as El Coyote.  preferably in the rain.... but it only rains for about 2 days a year in Southern California and there's zero chance of rain for the next month or so :(

wishing also
i didn't always fall asleep during Donnie Darko because i do think it looks terribly interesting (and i love the soundtrack)

wishing also
those Prince Harry pictures weren't such a major disappointment

for bedtime - sometimes we have extreme chocolate denali moose tracks overload icecream with hot fudge in bed and watch the Mentalist and it's pure heaven on earth! he was in my Australian soap opera ;)

someone buys our dumb stupid asshole of a house this weekend.  because if they don't, i might just have a moment of temporary insanity and burn it to the ground (once i get all my precious pets and yearbooks out safely ;)  or take someone hostage and make them buy it at knifepoint, which would take waaaaay longer....

the bitchfest between Elton John and Madonna.  because they are both awful and i just can't pick a side ;)

off to shower and astringe with witch hazel (my latest obsession) and watch the Mentalist and eat icecream and be happy xoxo

pizza and guidos and seizures

the implementation of mean horrible rule number 7 on my 10 commandments of weight loss (so far there are only 7: like no brunch ever - only serious dieting felonies like that make the list).  anyway rule 7: no more pizza on days that don't start with an F :(  (except if Barack Obama/George Clooney happen to stop at the local Round Table;)  but no pizza on this particular F day because last night was a head-shaking disgrace :|   

when people say they shake their head yes (namely Dr Drew who is otherwise so clever and magnetic)  you can only shake your head no, and nod your head yes.  honestly i don't believe Dr Drew ever went to medical school if he doesn't even know that....

also hating
the Real Housewives of New Jersey.  and also the Real Housewives of New York.  sooooo totally boring.  and don't even start me on those greasy ingrown-hairy husbands of New Jersey :|   

Murmur by R.E.M.  like, reaaaaaaaaally loving Murmur more than Automatic and Up....  it's funny (though not funneee) that since R.E.M. broke up and they have selfishly chosen to write no more soundtracks of my so called life, Murmur has been it and it was there all along.... 

new shoes with bigger heels.  because apparently they make you look taller.  i'm so wearing my new tall shoes to L.A. tomorrow to appear taller in real life for the Charles Manson murder tour.

febreze was spelled fabreze.  not that i'd buy it ever (why don't people just launder stinky things.... i don't get it) but the spelling wouldn't be so horribly offensive to my sensibilities.  febreze sounds too much like febrile seizure breeze - like something you spray on a feverish person to cool them down... not something you mask dog sweat and BO with.  just dumb....

oh well, off to the park to spin and jump and play!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

i am grateful......

for perfect beach days

for big windows and natural light

for rainy days in L.A.

for supersunny technicolor days in Palm Springs

for bonfires at Huntington Beach  

for the Mad Hatters Tea Party at Disneyland

for kind gentle boys  

for Ruby's at the end of the pier (and peanut butter milkshakes)

for really big numbers that match their age

for adorable Halloween costumes

for Summer

for his health - so very very grateful