Monday, June 27, 2011

some things are better than others

awoke at 6am and thanked my lucky stars that a) it's summer b) i don't have to go to work, c) my children are old enough to get their own breakfast, and d) i have a hubbie who brings me perfectly made coffee in bed.... every single day :)

dunked ginger cats in coffee ( for 1 second - no more no less) and watched "Finding Sarah". as much as i want to despise that woman i just don't (but i do want to slap her across the cheek, for her own good, for being so stupid :| and tell her to remarry Prince Andrew, because he's a fox AND a keeper :)

went for a walk with Sam. we walked for 65 minutes uphill all the way. and he didn't complain. not once. and he did keep up! granted we talked about Grand Theft Auto the whole way ;)

looked for a perfectly perfect white beach house anywhere between Big Sur and Mendocino (i am completely obsessed with vacation rentals... though some are downright scary, must share links soon :)

accidentally clicked on a story about a sweet shelter dog and burst into tears

tried on teeshirts and hated them all (one of those days...)

went to Winco, ridiculously cheap and awesome grocery store. bought dog toothbrushes and 4 types of apples

forgot the ONE THING i went for: raisins in various hues - grrrrr!!!

stopped at Cici's pizza buffet for lunch. it never fails - their managers are all really really rude and patronizing. the manager today accused me of daylight robbery because Sam looks older than 10 (according to Cici, kids are adults at 11 years old :| i hate Cici. oh and she sucks at making pizza too ;)

took a bite out of 7 slices of pizza in a bloody-minded revenge-seeking episode and ate the entire bowl of house salad :|

briefly reconsidered going to the Hollywood Bowl fireworks show hosted by Hall and Oates on Sunday night, when a Hall and Oates song came on the radio :)

drove home, loving my car a little bit more than yesterday but not as much as i will tomorrow (translation: i love it more each day:)

realized we don't own a bottle opener and had to use pliers to open glass coke bottles :|

talked to a lame patronizing bitchcat from hell (i'm sorry but she was) at the Mirage and decided not to stay there after all (after asking a billion questions :)

pored over pinterest recipes and decided to make some cookie/oreo/brownie thing

ran to Trader Joe's for more ginger cats and lavender dish soap - i am in imaginary celebrity rehab hell trying to wean myself off my TJ addiction but i just HAVE TO HAVE the ginger cats and the lavender dish soap... life isn't worth living without them :|

stared at protein powder aisle for something like an hour... there are a million different kinds of protein powder (who knew...)

accidentally almost ate a piece of HOT DOG at the tasting hut, while supposedly trying cornbread. urgh!! i had to spit it out in front of hundreds of people (but thankfully not Pedro Hernandez) it was so embarrassing!

dashed home and removed brownie/cookie effigy from oven - it's sooooo heavy!! and most likely fattening, i think....

stupid cookie/brownie thingie broke in half, due to it's obscene weight, while being hoisted (by two people, i might add) from the pan to the cooling thing - darn you brownie/cookie monstrosity!

gave dogs their toothbrushes - they woofed them and i felt like a good mom for once :)

watched Celeb Rehab - they are all such whiny spoilt little bitches. one woman claimed to be allergic to alcohol because it makes her dizzy and sick.... whhhhat????? then isn't everyone allergic to alcohol...? if that's a real allergy, then i'm allergic to bullshit :| also another thing: how on earth does Dr Drew be everywhere all at the same time while still looking so calm and uncreased...?

watched Dr Drew (again) parroting on about that Casey Anthony trial - it's getting reaaally boring :|

listened to Danny Boy by Elvis which curiously i've never heard before. i love the song, and Elvis Presley (and America), and my own sweet little Danny Boy :)

also: High Hopes by Frank Sinatra because i love it to pieces and Frank Sinatra and Palm Springs :)

also: The Fame by Lady Gaga because i unapologetically love her too ;)

did pilates with the entire family :|

hid all the sad death row shelter pet updates from my facebook :( and felt guilty for doing so, but i just don't have enough tissues in the house to soak up all the tears :(

listened to more Elvis (CPR for tender hearts :)

spritzed Jo Malone fresh mint in an attempt to shoo off the whammies and mean reds

listened to a long reenactment of an infomercial that Danny is fascinated by :)

back tomorrow with details of a top secret mac and cheese tastetest that we are part of :) i love mac and cheese!! xoxox

Saturday, June 25, 2011

we're off!

we're off! we're off in a motor car!! 60 bobbies are after us and we don't know where we are!! (hmm, maybe you have to be English to know this song..........?)

anyway, it was our first roadtrip in the "neeeeeeeeeew" car :) a Kodak moment for sure :)

a few wrong turns later, a near collision with a snake slithering across the road, not to mention several squirrels and 3 cows... and we arrived in Sequoia!! we bought an annual pass because we are like a totally outdoorsy hikey kind of family :)

Father captured me in a candid moment :)

look at the size of these trees! (that is a real life child next to the tree for comparison)

we all had sore necks from looking up at the majestic trees!

we decided in a moment of temporary insanity to go and find the biggest tree.... ohhh, not just any old biggest tree - but the biggest tree on EARTH :| i mean who wouldn't want to see this?!! so we set off with a spring in our step (in unsensible shoes, with no sunblock or water. no map either ;)

we loved the big trees soooo much we hugged them!

and we started to wonder why the path leading to the biggest tree in the world was so quiet... curious :| surely we were not the only people in the world who wanted to see the biggest tree in the world... it made no sense :|

we hiked for HOURS (and HOURS!!)

smiles started to fade..... and we had to quote our family motto "team work makes the dream work" over and over to motivate the chilluns :)

we took a little sit down to wonder if we should turn back and be total quitters.... (while worrying that bears might find us and eat us and no-one would discover our carcasses till we had rotted away... but we refused to give up and die! darnit, we have something to live for now - a BRAND NEW CAR!!!!!!)

finally a glimmer of hope - human beans and a sharpei on the trail - also heading to the biggest tree on earth :)

smiles returned to our faces :) bears most likely weren't going to eat us after all!!!

we even found a map confirming that we were only one (effing) mile from the stupid big tree

Aaron did his best to motivate us :|

annnnd...... we made it!! this is it: the biggest tree on God's green earth!!!*

* psst... don't all the trees before this one look waaaay bigger...? i wasn't very impressed with General Sherman's tree, truth be told :|

however, as it is the biggest tree on earth... it actually has a SHUTTLE BUS that runs right to it (we did not know this.....) Sam was unimpressed by the lameness of his parents :)

however, being awesome kind parents, we appeased our children and caught said bus back down the mountain :)

and they loved us once again :) (although they refused to smile ;)

we stopped for icecream :)

and a picture with a large bull food truck

this morning we picked peaches and nectarines and blueberries and ollalieberries and boysenberries

and, being a vegetarian, i wanted to give some to this lovely cow :) however, the cow didn't seem able to swallow the fruit... she just kept chewing and chewing and chewing... and i started to worry that i had given her something she isn't supposed to eat. so i waited and waited for her to stop chewing - for like 20 minutes... then i remembered that cows chew cud (or something) and she was probably just doing that... right....? at least i hope... or i'm the world's most awful vegetarian for killing a perfectly happy cow by sharing my peaches with her :(

next we went to the very first HOBBY LOBBY in the west!! and it was awesome! and it's coming to Temecula very soon (not soon enough though...)

we saw this fearsome truck on the freeway home :)

and Magic Mountain: the ghettoest place on earth (after Knotts Berry Farm :)

and then we got stuck in horrible 'southland' traffic and the vacation was officially over :| but our petsitter did a WONDERFUL job and our pets were all fluffy, fed and happy when we got home :) it's official, we're keeping her!

off to bed to catch up on some shows and start planning the next vacation :) latest obsession: (LOVE IT!!!!) xoxox

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

pyjamas and bras for cars

shhh don't tell anyone but i am wearing pyjama pants today:| but they are soooo comfy i want to actually go OUT OF THE HOUSE in them!! (don't worry, they aren't garish flannel slept-in-for-weeks-on-end Garfield pyjamas... so i think i'm safe... right?) urgh, i think i will change.... i am too afraid of ridicule and being the subject of sneakily taken camera phone pics, even though i'm only going to walmart and kohls ;)

i need sports bras - we have taken up (...drum roll...) jogging :| (gasp!!) and it's not that horrible (except for in the sports bra dept, ahem) yesterday i tried on 17,000 different sports bras and they were all just awful. but in good news, all that tugging and puffing and panting was officially my exercise for the day ;)

i wonder if i should be doing all this jogging when i still have the sore chest muscles...? i gave them plenty time to recuperate (a day at least!!) but then as soon as i exert myself again, bam! back to square one :| it's almost like my expanding lungs repeatedly crack my ribs causing excruciating pain when the ribs stick into my heart (such a drama queen. with a wild imagination to boot :) i am sure stress has a slight factor too... sigh, must stop stressing (but how??!)

in other news, i really don't like the real housewives of New Jersey. i have been trying to pinpoint exactly what is so nauseating about that show and it's that the men are so piggish and greasy and horrible. why not have the real housewife of Jon Bon Jovi on there? i'd cheerfully watch him - i bet he rinses his own dishes and kisses his wife on the forehead :) all those short greasy macho shitheads with ingrown hairs... ehh, not so much :|

today i need to:
  • research invisible bras for cars
  • find out how far Augusta is from Atlanta and how far Dallas is from Austin (there are Christmas Tree Shops in Augusta and Dallas!! so no more than a hop, skip and a jump i hope....)
  • make a map of all the reaaaaallly tall trees in Sequoia National Park for this weekend (ROADTRIP!!!)
  • find the front door key
  • jog (groan)
  • buy a new car (the reason for the effervescent feeling in my tummy AND the roadtrip!!!!!!!!!!!!)
  • look online for advice on whether i should use dark ash blond or light ash brown hair color (being a lady is sooooo much work!!!)
  • find out what it means when you keep dreaming that you forget to feed your pets and they all change into something else (last night i forgot to feed a tank of baby snakes and they all split apart and became t.rexes....)
  • try to add $35 worth of things to my ELF cart (i did it again... i bought a groupon :| but this time i'm determined to actually USE IT!)
  • research if having extensive plastic surgery makes facial recognition not work anymore
  • buy fresh produce in a bid to be as healthy and thin and lovely as Kate Middleton :)
  • avoid the evil scones i have placed in the deep freeze twice and brought out AGAIN (i am kind of hoping they are now infused with salmonella and will make me sick and i will never want to eat them again...)
  • go to walmart and kohl's
  • be happy
back later xooxoxoxooxxxoooo

Saturday, June 18, 2011

at the zoo

in Griffith Park. it was my kind of zoo: one with no sad looking animals at all, empty for the past 50 years and their former cages left open for little boys to explore and climb inside and pretend to be ferocious beasts :)

i love LA (sometimes :)


Thursday, June 16, 2011

just pictures

he's a cub scout! (an adorable, sweet, polite, door-holding-open, usually-smiling-but-not-here cub scout :)

... who really really hopes he doesn't look like Russell from "Up"...

... but how cute would he be in this for halloween :)

Friday is 12 years old (possibly the old cat ever!) and still a little kitten at heart :)

our beautiful boy made the honor roll again (and we are SO DISGUSTINGLY PROUD OF HIM!!!)

last day of elementary school (and honor roll donut treat:)

he is soooo almost middle school: loves starbucks coffee, takes his phone everywhere with him (and always answers it... it's so cool and handy - like lo-jack for kids!) and is already trying to decide what his first car will be :)

the first of many summer playdates, i hope...

i love that their new love is monopoly (grand theft auto, not so much...)

back to school - i already cried twice today, fricking last days kill me!!!
xoxo back later