Monday, November 28, 2011

five six things

we have no food. no waffles. no cereal. there is not one baked bean in the house - not a single solitary sachet of sweet n lo. i think it's officially time to go shopping :| or have pineapple chunks and jellied cranberry stuff in a can for dinner :| which i am sure has expired or rusted to the shelf. i've never actually moved the can, it's just been filed between corn and green beans since Julia Roberts was a prostitute)

black friday sucks. i only wanted ONE thing - a 3DS (red) with Mario 3DLand. and was it on sale anywhere? NO! and not only was it not on sale, but it was sold out.... and stupider cyber monday. amazon has Rio 'on sale' - for $25.99??! how is that a deal??!

we are soooo not in the mood for Christmas - we even tried to fake some festive cheer by putting up the Christmas tree and looking at all our favorite ornaments but it was no good - we ended up just catapulting them at the tree to get it over and done with. it's so strange - we usually LOVE Christmas :|

personally i blame the Christmas card - i have a curved spine and need glasses now after spending so many hours poring over it. anyway it's over and i don't care if it looks like garbage - done is the new perfect ;)

also it's Danny's birthday party planning time :| we can either spend $2600 for 2 hours of awful, jarring, chaotic "fun" or prepare for disaster and host the party here :| i choose option C (bribe the child with a cool toy to pleeeeease not want a party because they give Mummy a nervous breakdown :)

speaking of which, yesterday Courage the cowardly cat escaped :| he is the only cat smart enough to ever figure out that the doggy door leads to outside (who said cats were smarter than dogs?!), which means now he will teach all the other cats to use it and we will have to remove it and life as we know it will be over (i hate being a doggy doorman). he was found clinging to the screen of our bedroom window at midnight meowing to be let back in :| he is one very smart cat - how did he figure out which window to meow at?! (although not smart enough to just come back in through the doggy door...)

off to bedfordshire to watch Dr Drew's Lifechangers. while i love the show - 30 minutes is perfect for people who can't stay interested for one solid hour - i hate the name, it reminds me of Cliffhangers from the Price is Right, even though it's not the same concept at all, and it makes me miss Bob Barker :( change the name Dr Drew to 30 minutes. that makes much more sense than Cliffhangers ;)

heh heh :)

imagine it's the year 1973 and David Bowie has turned into a guinea pig:

who knew she was that tall...?

our tour of Hollywood cemeteries - we got within six feet of Farrah Fawcett, Marilyn Monroe, Liberace, Natalie Wood and some other people i can't remember (we went to the wax museum the same day so it was very hard to keep track of who we saw that was wax and who was dead...)

Sunday, November 27, 2011

why i need a beach house :)

it could even be in Malibu - i am not choosy!

but preferably this beach, Mandalay or Mandibu/Malibarbara as it's known around here ;)

we'd go for family runs if we lived on the beach (possibly... walks definitely:)

and we'd be sand dollar millionaires!

golden hour is especially golden at the beach...

again with the exercise... seriously we NEEED a beach house for health reasons!

life at the beach is just so much lovelier...

Danny had an early birthday treat with Grandma - his cake was a huge chocolate sprinkle donut (his favorite donut ever:)

Grandma gave him a Magic Eight Ball and he WUVS it!!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

stars, beach boys and white teeth

that tomorrow is a coffee-n-cats-in-bed kind of morning :) just what the world needs to put it back on it's axis

to Moby... he says we are all made of stars but some people are definitely less starry than others :| ps that song reminds me of an apathetic, anemic "Heroes" by David Bowie. but in a good way ;)

over celebrity playlists - i can't possibly not open one even though i don't care about the person - i HAVE to know what their favorite song is :| lamest playlist ever: Brian Wilson - who likes all his own songs. hmmm. while i agree that they're likable (who doesn't love pet sounds?) that's just so narcissistic and rude. fun fact: i saw his daughter on Supernanny and she lived in a teeny tract house with like 4000 children :| so obviously he's not very generous either ;) also: not studly and handsome like singers just HAVE to be in my book of rules.

i had not said "oh definitely, for sure - 110% we'll be there!!" to Dr Phil's staffer today about next Wednesday's show... my Mum arrives at midnight on Tuesday.... i am thinking that having to be in Hollywood, business casual early the next morn, won't gel well with jetlag and 6 hours sleep....... but i do really want to see if Robin watches the whole show, or just comes out right at the end to be walked offstage by her man for the sake of the cameras. oh the things that keep me up at night....

my teeth as i type. it says leave on for 5 minutes or 20 minutes for horribly stained teeth. it's been a couple of hours now so probably time to go and check :) xoxo

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Wichita Linemen (plural)

new songs - oh sweet joyful (and sometimes unapologetically joyless) new songs! it's been 15 ridiculously long silent months since i last bought a song (it's a tragic and painful story....)

New Order. even though most of their songs are about 3 minutes too long* :| they remind me of diesel fumes, cigarette smoke and shiny wet pavements and i must.go.home.very.very.very.soon :|

how a song can take you back to a place instantly with no jetlag, delays or armrest hogging business men :)

songs over 4 minutes should just be banned altogether - life's too short for sitting around waiting for epic songs to end :(

thinking also
that live versions of songs should be banned - they are pure torture

(speaking of torture....) remarking
that i actually quite like Coldplay (though the sound of synthetic violins makes me so hopelessly homesick/rainsick...) huh - and here was me doubting that anyone who has to breathe the same air as Gwyneth Paltrow could possibly make anything but primal, tortured wails ;)

if 6 November is too late to be playing Nat King Cole's Christmas album...? because i already love it (his voice is like velvety chocolate Labrador puppies)

also wondering
if my love of Wichita Lineman is abnormal...? i have collected about 29 different versions of it now :| current favorite: James Taylor (his voice is like velvety chocolate Labrador puppies also)

my Christmas list:
one dear thing with a heart shaped nose

one velvety soft baby giraffe

a small elephant that i can take places on a little harness (must fit in the back of the minivan and like dogs :)

a baby gorilla (blocking out memory of the chimp attack on Oprah) surely this little baby couldn't rip a face off....? inconceivable!

a tiny tubby rhino :)

off to Bedfordshire and back tomorrow with more tales of the unexpected.... xoxox