Tuesday, April 15, 2014


like curly is the new straight.  and pink is the new blue.  and dots are the new stripes.  and glittery flats are the new riding boots. 

to Morrissey and the torrential rain (i can't decide which i love more)

that my room smells like a Cape Cod beach house and fresh hyacinths and raindrops and freshly laundered extra soft shabby chic bedding

if anyone else got s-i-c-k of seeing moon pictures today.  more boring than food, definitely

capri leggings - and just try finding un-capri leggings.  they don't exist

this bracelet.  it has awful reviews, apparently it falls off or gets bent.  but i don't care, i still want it :)

to Atlantic City this weekend.  i hope it lives up to my ridiculously low expectations ;)

cuuuutest baby ever
 hey i just met you and this is crazy.  
i baked for the neighbors i haven't yet met.  
i think they think i'm crazy (but good crazy, right...? :)
 Blackjack doesn't care about the honey badger 
(he said yawning to calm himself ;)
 i grew these!
  the mexican food here truly sucks ass.  the only thing that makes up for that fact 
is the fact that the salsa bowls look like little piggies
 on the sport court (on an unrainy day)
 Weasel and her big brother

 we painted tonight

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

oh my gawd

shh don't tell anyone but i kinda hate Rhode Island.  first all the roads are totally all over the place and i always get hopelessly lost because everywhere looks exactly like everywhere else, ie the country or the grey industrial parts of Manchester.  and everyone either drives too fast or too slow.  someone today even had the bumper sticker "i drive like shit"????  ONLY in Rhode Island would that sticker need to exist AND a person be proud/dumb enough to buy it.  sorry Taylor i do NOT mean you, Westerly is loverly ;)

today we spent 11 hours in Hobby Lobby.  i am not even kidding: 11 straight hours.  with no food or drinks.  and it wasn't horrible!  at all!

what was horrible was hearing that hideous song by Jennifer Lopez.  oh my gawd: it's gag inducing and grotesque.  i think it's called something like 'i wub you pappy'.  if i ever swallow something poisonous, i think this song could save my life ;)  but i think i'd rather die ;)

you know what doesn't suck?  when your house is really clean and shiny and you're doing an adorable craft with your child, while making the most wonderful smelling three course dinner, and your neighbor comes to the door and you drag them inside to see THIS IS HOW I LIVE!  EVERYDAY!!!  and you know they're soooo not buying it, but how often do the planets align that well....?  once!!  just once...

fast forward to today and you know what does suck?  being a single mom.  having to not oversleep.  having to lock doors and remember to turn off lights.  my children NEVER stop knocking on the door (to the room i am hiding in) to discuss their new sneakers or Amy's Baking Company.  it absolutely sucks and i have even more empathy for single moms after just ONE DAY of living it.  it's official: lent is over and i need diet coke back for my survival!!!  i have not even had time to wash my hands all day.  i just had to feed them (this is a never ending job) and McDonalds (can't cook because of the unwashed hands) gave Danny, the world's pickiest, most-likely-to-puke-if-you-get-it-even-slightly-wrong eater the WRONG BLOODY MEAL.  and seriously: when you're a single mom, this is definitely grounds for murder.  if i wasn't so exhausted, i'd drive back there just to hack that comatose asshole drivethru guy to pieces with my unwashed hands!!  instead i'm going to do so with my sharp tongue via the online survey.  (also: i get a free egg mcmuffin for my trouble, as oppose to life ;)

i find it totally crazy that noone knows how Peaches Geldof died.  i need to know: i keep thinking we are having earthquakes but no-one else feels them but me?  there is no webmd diagnosis for this condition.  i need to know how do you go from tweeting to dead in 19 minutes????  and why there is no obvious reason after the post mortem?  HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE????!!!  aarrgggghhh i need to know.

off to fake patience and kindness and indulge in a little pumpkin bread therapy ;)  our Trader Joe's has it ALL YEAR now!! but maybe that's just how it is here at the end of the rainbow...?

spotify, spring and black dogs

like Rockwell.  and NOT in a good way.  someone is definitely watching me - or at the very least tapping into my very secret spotify playlists and USING THEM without my express permission!  everytime i go in a store, they are playing my playlists???  like verbatim.  in order.  how is that possible?  is my taste in music so generic and awful...?  no... i refuse to believe it. 

if exercise makes everyone's feet huge....?  my feet won't even nearly fit in size 8 shoes anymore????  and i REFUSE to buy a size 9.  won't happen.  ever.  i will stop exercising and have my toes clipped off with rusty pliers before i will do that.

the man in the post office.  what a total jackhole.  i said i wanted a receipt to prove that i mailed something that isn't really that important that it requires insurance or nuthin.  he was all like 'well that doesn't prove anything, but whatever you say...' like i'm Cher from Clueless????  urgh, i placed a major hex on him, jerk. 

a deep sigh that Danny has become one of those children who is obsessed with designer sneakers.  the mall last night... i can't afford children,  especially ones who are so adorable and sweet, it's impossible to deny them whatever they want....

a huge bee in my bonnet go to Athens, GA this Summer.  i love the East Coast, it's like 10,000% more interesting than the West Coast

East Coast Spring.  we have FLOWERS in our garden!  flowers i planted!!!  like thousands of them!!!  that were under feet of snow just weeks ago - it's amazing!!! 

really sad about that Peaches Geldof girly.  i remember her (and her sisters) being born and saw them around town with their kooky, disheveled, fascinating parents... really sad and tragic all the way around

 Danny made me bracelets :)
 i grew these things.  from scratch!!! i have no clue what they are
 but it was so exciting i went to buy more plants!!!!!
  i love (L-O-V-E) that Danny has a pretend little brother in our little kindy neighbor

Thunder (don't they look like twins???!)

Sunday, April 06, 2014


 this is to be our next masterpiece! (except i want a beaten-up erosion fence in mine.  
and a boardwalk.  and a straighter horizon ;)

homework.  the bane of my existence.
 it's officially Spring and we went hiking in the woods behind the house.
it was muddier than we were expecting...............
 Cape Cod

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

the blahest oddest ironicest tuesday

Danny's sweet little much missed friend in CA has written to him twice asking him about horseshoe crabs, and as luck would have it, we found one at the beach and brought it home for our curio cabinet full of dead things.  well, this morning i asked Danny about maybe replying to his friend (omg... i am NOT a fan of making children write letters....) and he promised he would and he also wanted to send the dead crab to his friend (aww bless).  so i put it on the counter to remind me to mail it (once i had found a horseshoe crab shaped box)  and guess what: i accidentally put a box of shredded wheat with raisins (yum!) on it and it broke into a million pieces and no amount of glue or tape could salvage it :(

anyway due to this upset, i totally forgot i had to go to the dentist at 9am till 8:46am.  i hate going to the dentist but i love my dentist, so it almost evens out.  he's so nice and deathly afraid of inflicting pain and we never actually talk about teeth: only chocolate and Manchester and fish and chips.  anyway, he wasn't there - my dentist wasn't there!?  and i had a broken tooth and everything!  (which wasn't broken, just a craze line and a vivid imagination)  i saw some woman named "Bonnie" who was nice i suppose, but not an expert on Coronation Street and where to find good fish and chips in Boston :(  and then the woman who cleaned my teeth was the most boring, lame, emotionless, pointless excuse for a human being.  and guess what?  she was freaking ENGLISH.  isn't that ironic? (or just a total bummer....?  why do some English people get all the personality and others get none...?  like not just none, but minus zero personality.  i think there are good and bad batches of English people.  luckily i'm from a good batch :)

anyway next i went to get a manicure, as i always do after any dental experience.  and guess who did my nails?  a OLD WHITE MAN.  not a young asian lady.  the absolute polar opposite??????!  and none of the nail polishes had cute names like 'spaghetti strap' and 'eternal optimist'.  they had numbers???  i found 643 (my lucky number) but it was a gross shimmery white color (bleck).  so i settled for our house number instead which is oxblood.  oh yeah and that old man asked me what on earth possessed me to keep my nails short????  whhhhat????!

i absolutely hate subscribe&save.  how come things don't arrive for an entire month???  i want one thing now and the next in a month... arggghh

also i hate cartwheel.  i hate it.  times a million.  it's stupid and lame that some people save money and other people buying the exact same things don't (namely me, because i ALWAYS forget about it, thanks to chatty Cathy the cashier, who deliberately distracts me so i'll forget)  and i also hate that our Target has completely different sales to the ghetto nasty one down the road.  and i hate when moms block the entire aisle letting their kid empty every bag of mini eggs off the shelf because they think it's cute (it's so not) (and also: don't touch all the mini eggs!!!!)  and moms who talk loudly to their children for the benefit of everyone around.  and mommies who just get in my way.  i served my debt to society - i've carried 30 pounds of snot and tantrums around Target for YEARS - now out of my childfree way! 

off to make my 2014 blurb book.  yes: i am THAT ahead!!!!  not everything today sucks :)

adorable x 4
 we went painting.  dearest Taylor: please come with us next time!!!
 how it started - easy!!!  i can do stripes!

 this is why you can't go to paintnite with your entire family....
 you'd all have the exact same painting and that would be like sooooooo lame ;)

Monday, March 31, 2014

rainy days and mondays

a mailbox CRAMMED with pretty presents.  yes yes yes, all sent by me to me but still.  i love brown paper packages (not tied up with string... grr.  did i ever mention how i like to tie up brown paper packages with string and one day the man at the post office gave me - and half of pville - a lecture about how they jam up his machines and then he defiantly snipped off the pretty string!  but... what about the song....?  raindrops on roses....?  whiskers on kittens... would he snip those off too?? waaaaaaaa!!!!  i want to move to Austria)

that it's SPRING!!  and it's rainy and cool and pretty and buddy and blissful everywhere.  i love the "begin again" part of here.  heck, anywhere BUT California (which never begins again... it just stays the same)  we have like TWO HUNDRED little flowers waiting to bloom in our garden and i'm not touching them!!  Mother Nature: they're all yours!!!  please don't screw it up!

that that pediatrician in the nice Victorian house totally understood my not missing Cali.... that 6500 straight days of 78 degree (at best... at worst 104 degrees), constantly blue skies would get old reaaaally fast.

Scott and Bailey.  but hating - HATING - that i've watched them all (at least once;)  MAKE MORE!!!! I love Gill's character.  like.... i reeeeaaallly LOVE Gill in that show.  she uses 'cock' as a term of endearment (it means 'dear' in Mcr) and that makes me a) wicked homesick and b) giggle :)

that i get to go back to the gym this am.  it's been 10 days.  and i NEVER thought i would miss it.  but i do miss George Michael playlists and scathing documentaries about bad moms.  and Kelly Ripa.  she makes me laugh (and she's adorable.  could i EVER be that thin?  like 6 year old girl thin?  (with the buffest arms EVER - she's the ONLY reason i endure the awful weight area full of reeeeaaally strong people lifting 170 pounds instead of my 15....) and be able wear the 6 year old girl clothes at Target??  because they're waaaaay cuter than the lady clothes..... way cuter.  the raincoat with little umbrellas on it... NOT FAIR!)

how absolutely NUTS our dogs get about squirrels.  they are currently skidding around the dining room at 100 mph (the poor oak floors.... oi) barking like maniacs at two ballsy little squirrels who are sitting outside the glass doors eating birdseed.  those squirrels are so bad!  but so cute!!!

back later. maybe.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

saturday pictures of everything

at the doc's yesterday :) when i first dreamt of moving to Massachusetts, part of my dream was having a pediatrician whose office is in a Victorian house. i had no clue that the pediatrician i picked had his office in a Victorian house. so that was pretty cool :) also cool: anyone that giggly by the British (not mis)pronunciation of "vitamin" ;)

this is the most exciting thing ever to happen in pville. in the history of LIKE: EVER!

it's going to be a book store! and a coffee shop!

at least i *think*!

why that railing is going to fall off

etsy loves

New York is nearly always a good idea. but if you have stomach flu, it's a really BAD idea :|

Houston we have a BUD!!!!!!!! and pretty fifth position feet

what a veggie eats in Longhorn Steakhouse. eh

i don't say this very often.... but i LOVE the Pope!
And BO is also delightful ;)

ewwww. nooooo. this. is. my. worst. nightmare.

speaking of nightmares.... Kurt Cobain's garage and suicide note. eh Seattle is just depressing
someone tried on crawfish scent in Walmart. and this is why i LOVE Walmart :)

today's spotify channel is New Order which is really good... did i ever mention that??!

you can get a pearl necklace for a dollar in Target - there i posted it :)
Danny calls these bananas :)

Mr Bumps wanted to wear a banana too :)

it was "take-your-teddy-bear-to-school" day yesterday. Humphrey came home exhausted

i asked these pesky pups to pose in their bananas.
it took several attempts and finally payment in hotdogs

the outtakes. apparently dogs don't understand "look at the camera!" until you say "for a hotdog!"

i totally forgot to pay them when we got inside.
i found them still sitting like this a few minutes later ;)
ps spot the three girlcats (the boys live upstairs)

i love L-O-V-E even numbers ;)

and if they can't be even, then divisible by 5 is the next best thing (i added a picture to make it right;)
ps i loooooove bookmarking new places ;)