Sunday, February 26, 2012

pinterest and oscars

yesterday we did something unthinkably boring and horrible - but it was kind of awesome in the end... we stayed at home ALL DAY LONG and cleaned :|  behind the couch, under the beds, under the fridge (.... oh deary me, that was BAD) inside the outside dog house, behind the trash cans - everywhere!  we must have burned 100,000 calories in the process (which we splurged on veggie burritos at Tacos Sinaloa ;) and the house is soooo clean you could scrape a razor blade along it and not pick up any dirt.  honestly who gets excited about stuff like that?  bleck.

but this morning, i couldn't sleep - i had to get up so i could gaze at the wonderfully reflective floors and perfectly manicured lawns and print cleaning coupons at  (of course a small child had to get up at the exact same time to ruin the zen - then two children :|  honestly.... just.... grrrrrr!)  now i am sitting on my hands desperately waiting for 8am so i can go and get Dawn dish soap and white vinegar and make "the best soap scum buster" that i saw on pinterest... it promises to make shower doors brand spanking new again :)   honestly, pinterest drives me crazy - it has all these great looking ideas, but they are always kind of crappety and blah in the end (i blame photoshop and over-achieving housewives)

anyway.... tonight is the Oscars.  i don't think George Clooney has a cat in hell's chance of winning for the following reasons:
  • his eyes were very out of focus throughout the Descendants
  • he was wearing ugly clothes and flip flips (but i still think he was heartflutteringly cute ;)
  • a very old person is also nominated - and we all know they always always always win everything.  i think the Oscar people always give the old person the award because they might die soon and then they would feel bad about giving it to the younger actor.  which is weird because it seems more young actors die than old actors... i should study this in more detail because i am sure i am onto something...
but i will be watching non-the-less.  truth be told, i don't despise George Clooney's newish girlfriend, the one who smiles all the time and walks the dog.  you just can't hate someone who smiles all the time and likes dogs :)  (i hated that eurotrashy Italian one - she just wasn't good enough for him :)  i could never be George's date for the Oscars - you just can't show up in a dress from Marshalls to the Oscars, you know.  and i'd be so self conscious and nervous, i'd bite my fingers till they bled all over my 'fancy' $29.99 dress :(

off to Target with a spring in my step (meaning: no whiny, toy-requiring, popcorn-begging children allowed) and a song in my heart (namely: Wichita Lineman by James Taylor... it just never gets old:)

this is Nibbles who may be pregnant due to a hilarious sit-com-y mix-up last week ;)

this is Miss Rosie who we thought was pregnant but isn't - phew

and this is Smokey Bear (nickname Big Buck - he's huuuuuuge and cuddly and loooooves cookies:) who needs to be fixed really really soon!  he has to weigh a pound to be fixed - hence the cookies ;)

Friday, February 24, 2012

zeros and cats

at the scales - they love me, they really do!  well not really, i had to live off spinach for 4 days straight to lose a pound ;)  but it's a zero - a slightly more slender, slightly more confident zero (still with no waist though...bleck)

how anyone can have enough patience to save things like box tops and yogurt lids... it's just not in my DNA i guess :|  anything that requires me to save trash makes me feel like a hoarder which makes me feel like i can't breathe :|  and also: shouldn't those box top companies just give money to schools?  life should be easier....

Puss in Boots tonight - it's one of those cozy PJs and pizza and movie nights :)  with spinach instead of pizza for the porker ;)

everyone would just adopt a cat or three.  urgh the stats are so depressing - i just can't adopt 4,000,000 cats alone :(  i don't know how people can NOT want tiny tamed tigers running through their homes - they are missing out on such a special and majestic in-home safari experience :|  and they are the best snugglers too :)

a trip to Costco... the awful one in Tustin Ranch which hasn't been quite so awful lately (since i went to the one in Tustin Legacy which is like LAX on a verrrrry busy day)

the arrival of a premium metal litter scoop from  seriously this is the stuff i live for - it has like a million 5 star reviews from thrilled multi-cat parents!

that the beach house is ours again in June :)

off to school, the library, the store, Walgreens, Costco, home, shower, school, etc etc etc etc

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


11.2 miles.  i am so going to launch those stupid scales into outer space tomorrow morning if i don't have a 0 at the end of my weight :|  and i am not even kidding about that :|

spinach.  yes that disgusting green stuff that smells like grimy auto repair shops (or maybe it's just my spinach...?)  that's all - just boring spinach and cherry tomatoes and cucumber and carrots.  and 3 raisins for lunch :|  oh and 2 aleve for the headache ;)

the roku thingie.  now i simply cannot wait for it to arrive!!!    

a dumbass article about how bad fat free mayonnaise is for you.  honestly some people are such party-poopers :( next they will say ketchup is bad for you and you shouldn't watch too much reality TV in bed :(

road trips.  for hours and hours and hours. we want to drive to Cape Cod in July, stopping along the way at various places known for their local delicacies :)  the only stop that is an absolute MUST-DO is Walpole, MA where they have the jelliest donuts on earth.  so basically a 6000 mile trip for donuts ;)

$10 on one of those scratcher thingies that the boys gave me for Valentine's Day.  i should probably spend it on them, right....?

a union jack hoodie from Boden's kid dept.  a perk of being pint sized :|

off to bedfordshire for some milky decaffeinated coffee and more trip planning :)  i looooove the planning stage so much more than the doing stage :)

at the Holocaust museum this weekend - each little dot represents a child victim.... and that wall went on forever.  positively absolutely heartbreaking - since this visit i've felt so much more grateful for little things like sunny walks and sweet music.... and also much more aware of the big things like my babies being safe and protected from evil  xoxo

Friday, February 17, 2012

i'm not obsessed with celebrities or nothing but....

i hate seeing that sweet little (however sadly, not very smiley) Beckham baby treated like she's nothing more than a fancy designer bag on Victoria Beckham's praying mantis arm :(  no diaper bag in sight... or floppy bunny... or well-loved blankie :(  and that woman looks SO effing bloody miserable - someone should give her something to be sad and miserable about!!  honestly, i want to slap her out of it :|

i am deeply worried about George Clooney.  i read he is lonely, miserable and in constant pain :( (but unlike the stick insect mentioned in paragraph one, he smiles all the time!) also has a bleeding stomach ulcer :(  last week, i noticed he had apple cider vinegar in his fridge - and i feel like i MUST warn him about this deadly product - i read this so-called magical elixir is actually very harmful and can cause esophageal CANCER.  would it be too stalkerish to send him a letter?! surely not, as i plan on saving his life ;)

in other news, i still haven't been to the bank.  but it's a good thing because more checks have arrived.  also i ate too much pizza today. waaaaay too much pizza... back on hunger strike now ;)  sharks tank, diet coke and bed - c'est la vida loca xoxo

last week it really was all happening at the zoo......

Megan looooooooooves this box :)

this is how he rolls (and always barefoot:)

this week i put a boy with a girl instead of both girls together :|  pregnancy scare #2 :|
biggest, softest, fluffiest, snuggliest, saggiest cloth cat ever :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

holy crap

has it really been that long since i blogged... this whole place is completely different.... and as usual: i just don't like it :| it isn't like a safe private little room anymore :( it's a big white room with no things around the outside for my distracting pleasure. it's like being on a mac (which i don't like at all - negative space in the real world: good... on my computer: very very bad!)

also three times so far i have thought someone knocked on the door but noone is there - i wish they'd stop knocking then :|

my to-do list for the day:

delete 1340 pictures from my phone... that awesome camera is both a blessing and a curse :( there MUST be an easier way than checking each one 1340 times

walk 10 miles (uphill all the way - bleck)

buy ginger cats at Trader Joe's even though i really shouldn't because they make my chest hurt and surely they shouldn't - that would be a warning to most normal people...? but not me, oh no, because they contain BIG CHUNKS of real chewy ginger and they're so crunchy and snappy! and they're only 10 calories each ;)

go to the effing bank already. oh my gawd my purse is positively bursting with money... (first world problem, i know, i SHOULD NOT complain about this) but i cannot stand the effing bank. i am so scared of being shot in the back of the head and never seeing it coming (which admittedly would be probably better than seeing it coming...?) or being robbed at gunpoint. the thought of guns in general make me sweat profusely

again with the knocking! (i think it's the kettle playing tricks on me)

hand out very complicated valentines at school - Danny addressed 'special valentines' to his favorite friends which is a huge no-no in any teacher's book, but the cards came that way - 28 regular cards and 6 'special' cards for special friends.... i don't like it but what can you do? it's the first year in history i didn't hand make valentines (they had to be holographic angry birds cards, you see;)

eat like a bird (but not a seagull... more like an anorexic sparrow) - wednesday is my fasting day on which i don't eat all day long so today i must stock up a little today but not so much that the scales revolt against me (gawd i hate dieting...) also last night i dreamt that Aaron ate half my olive oil rubbed baked potato which is penciled in for dinner tonight with coleslaw and ketchup. i am trying to forgive him, because that half a baked potato is indeed still in the fridge - but that dream was SO REAL!!!

off to walk and not listen to music - suddenly music on the walk really really really bugs me. which is odd, right?

Monday, February 06, 2012

restless legs/active legs

noting with delight
that as of tomorrow my boy rat and girl rats have been in separate cages for 21 days - the gestation period of the rattus norvegicus!!!! soooo i am not going to be a grandma after all, which was making me (even more) prematurely grey :)

still wondering
how on earth Caesars figures we are 'high rolling' enough to give us two free nights at their wonderful casino - for our anniversary - no less :| oh baby, we are SOOOO GOING!!!!

not really caring
about Google's new policies - seriously yes i accept already! urgh, i hate that they think i actually care, you should just be able to click somewhere that yes you accept everything, and don't bother me anymore :| i only care about reaaaaally important things like what kind of car Jennifer Garner just bought (Range Rover: red... maybe it was a loaner? i really really hope so...) and how much Victoria Beckham weighs :| ps 99 pounds - i don't think i weighed that little even in utero :(

still marveling

that i was able to sit through an entire movie on Saturday with my hunny bunny without dying of boredom/checking my email/breaking into a horrible restless leg incident. granted, we had smuggled in a 400g slab of Cadbury's Dairy Milk and George Clooney was on the screen the entire time but disappointingly, he was never really ever perfectly in focus :( (admittedly the only way he could ever truly be perfectly in focus in my eyes would be if he was sitting opposite me, sharing wood fired pizza, and grinning his crinkly eyed grin:) Aaron suggested he wasn't in focus because he is so freaking old but i know it's just to piss me off ;)

anxiously awaiting
two brand new pairs of walking shoes today! three cheers for 6pm! gawd i hope they fit - the WORST part of mail order shoes, willing them to please fit so you don't have to brave the horror that is the post office :|

speaking of walks, we went to Fryman Canyon last weekend. we didn't see George Clooney or his little scruffy rescued dog but it was still beautiful and sunny and joyful and skippy :)

it was my birthday so naturally the sun was shining in individual golden rays of love and happiness

Dear George Clooney i swear i am NOT a stalker... ps your sock drawer is very tidy and you are almost out of eggs :)

how cute is this boy? you don't need to answer that, i already know the answer :)