saturday... i'm in love

...with Barack Obama, chicken tikka masala and a store they call Win-co (not Wink-o). i know he is married and that orange sauce contains 72 grams of fat per teaspoon and Win-co is kind of ghetto.... but he's so handsome, it's so delicious and the pic-n-mix laffy taffy is fabulous (and you can leave all the banana ones for someone with awful timing/taste in candy)

after discussing the situation at great length over the the abovementioned meal, i am teetering on the fence about replacing my hardly ever used little red phone with a (gulp) iPhone. there i said it... i want into that cult so badly ;) i DO technically 'need' a phone that can tell me where the nearest Target is and what time Disneyland opens/closes and what rides are not in operation on a given day... but i DON'T want to become a madly obsessive-compulsive person who checks incoming messages of absolutely no real importance all the time and ends up sitting their phone by them at dinner like it's a member of the family. que sera, whatever will be will be (but that doesn't mean i'll sleep at all soundly in the meantime)

just because i cannot be bothered to go there and update my status update, here is the edge-of-my-seat breaking news today: Carol is was going to buy English digestive biscuits in the Middle Eastern supermarket tonight, but changed her mind when she saw the very long line which made her wonder if there is a special holiday in the Middle East. but, it's all good because we are having icecream instead and Shawn of the Dead might be too scary to dunk and watch (multitasking makes you crazy, Aaron says :)

must go. the previews are running... note to self: take unisom to prevent sleepless night/nightmares :)
another very merry unbirthday to us

that's John Wayne, not Daddy :)

at Minnie's house

go-gadget in toontown is really this much fun :)

a scene from Sam's variety show performance. if i ever figure out sharing video, i will post it, it was very very cute :)

quelle jour diabolique!

i think that is french for what a crappy day. i have spent all day "busting my hump" as they say, and got absolutely nowhere. running to stand still, the soundtrack of my life :|

firstly i decided to take my boys to the 8th wonder of the world - the two-storey Target in Huntington Beach... it has an elevator for the carts, it's how i imagine Tokyo might be if they had a Target and i was ever to go. anyway it brought great joy to my children's morning and they picked out new clothes for Massachusetts and rode up and down on the elevators for a good 10 minutes. when we left, our car was one of just 5 in the carpark. this insane woman drove up and instead of choosing the EMPTY space to the left or right of us, or the left left or the right right of us, instead put on her turn signal and waited for us to vacate our space :| it wasn't the prestigious very first space nearest to the store, nor was it painted gold, nor did it have any other special features.... she just sat and watched me fastening up buckles and chest clips and packing up groceries as fast i could. i honestly don't understand people. and i don't understand why i actually felt the need to rush :|

next i decided to see where the hell that tax refund that i filed 3 weeks ago is. called the bank - they told me with an exasperated sigh that i had called the wrong department (i very foolishly had called the customer service number....) but, urghhh, they would put me through to "ACH" - i have no idea what that is. heavy breathing and confusion... click.... oops, they cut me off! how i love bank of america. i called back and they told me they have never seen the money and i should call IRS. oh no... not the IRS??! finally after being on hold long enough to 5 Beethoven's Fifths and 5 Viennese Waltzes they swore up and down the bank had it all along... so i should call them back. so i called back Bank of America - who finally admitted they DID have it but returned it the day they got it because i used the PAPER routing number from my check book and not the ELECTRONIC routing number that is hidden behind several secret doors under 'my account' at online banking. whhhat was i thinking??! so i should call back IRS to ask them if they have it... but they can't find it either! it's in some cyber person's pocket earning interest :( sigh. never fear, i thought - i will look for that missing tax money from the state of California instead! oh nooo, they aren't actually refunding taxpayers this year - they have no money left, thanks Arnold for masterfully rescuing Cal-ee-fornia from the evil clutches of Gray Davis (pictured here, dressed for success, in field of wild flowers :)

but if it gets to 45 days after 15 april Arnold will cheerfully issue an IOU... and if we are REALLY LUCKY he may even include a little interest at the rate of his choice :)

soooo... when all else fails and my DVR forgets to record the latest Real Housewives and i have no new Split Ends... i bake. i made my deepliest fudgiest brownies and double chocolate chip cookies for our special visitor who is coming to Disneyland with us this week. we hope you like chocolate, Melissa :) we cannot wait to welcome you to bankrupt - but always sunny - Cal-ee-fornia!

rainy days and mondays

how does someone have an idea for a "witty" license plate frame and it is such a terribly BAD one that they actually go and have to get it custom hammered out at the orange county swap meet/muddy field thing? case in point: "bitch on board and trainee bitches on board". gasp - i couldn't believe my eyes! i thought i just imagined it... but this woman called her daughters future bitches...? another gem from the school drop-off lane: 'save the tatas'. because nothing makes breast cancer more fun and frivolous than calling them tatas.........

clearly not in the same league as the woman in paragraph one... but i feel like such a horribly cruel mother (but not as bad as Kate either - not even close!) for the second time in Sam's life he complained about a sore throat today and i told him it was just a silly cold and to take some cough sweets with him to school. 'no Mom... i really think i should see the doctor...' he begged. um, yeah... the doctor said he has strep throat. i had strep throat once. it was the worst sore throat i EVER had - like i had swallowed razor bladees. last time the boy had strep, we were in Vegas and we dragged him around Siegfrid and Roy's white tiger exhibit, through the dolphin pools and to the Beatles cirque du soleil show that night. urgh... still not as bad as Kate though :) sorry Sam (but i DID buy him a hot fudge icecream to make up for it :)

speaking of hot fudge sundaes, i really wish McDonalds would just fill up the cup with that hot fudge and skip the icecream altogether! that fudge is soooooo good!!

it's official. i miss Colorado :( that is a very sad face. having been back a week, the differences are glaringly awful - i miss people keeping right on the freeway and staying in their lanes... i miss ice cold water from the tap... i miss silent snow flurries and beautiful softbox skies... i miss superwalmart on every corner :( i miss wonderful parks that are filled with playful art pieces, that haven't been spray painted or burnt or stolen. i even miss the Egg and I and we didn't even go in..........

pics from the weekend:
who are these children and why do they look like they actually like one another??



ohhhh now i am figuring out why he has been sooo lovely and quiet this weekend - strep!

this is why i buy Nice and Easy in bulk


endless fun in Costco - it's a bucket! it's a stroller! i want one!! this week we managed to spend just under $300 on one box of eggs and ziploc bags

'boy with strep'


brother of boy with strep who i hope doesn't get it too (because this one has my threshold for pain:)

it always seems to rain on a monday

dear phone...

pleeeeeeeeease stop ringing!!! our phone rings at least 750 times a day, i am not kidding. and i've never liked the phone - for sooooo many reasons. firstly english accents don't go through the wires very well - i have to repeat myself over and over and over and say everything with the utmost precision so my words will finally be understood - like feeding crinkly dollar bills into a vending machine - it's soooo frustrating. plus you can't backspace and re-say things that came out all wrong because you talk too much and can't leave any silences in the conversation. the phone sucks. and don't get me started on the cell phone.... "it's britney, bitch..." yes britney, but where are you, bitch??! all my purse pockets are mesh and they rip at my cuticles til they bleed as i feverishly search for my phone. it is like a terrifying quiz show game trying to find the phone before the music stops.

i am sooo obsessed with getting a good deal. white house (not THAT white house, the REAL white house: photo lab) have a sale on their press printed cards, i think you save all of $5 if you order by tomorrow. well, how can i resist such a deal? i love designing little note cards no matter how long it takes. so i have been working day and night to make "for all occasions" cards. submitting one order at a time so i get more lollipops :)

gasp. Tom Leykis is canceled....? oh please, say it is SO!!! dang that Obama really is my personal Jim'll Fix It kinda guy ;) i need to send him a list of everything else i want done around here... getting rid of music on websites should be next i think.... making all mcdonalds burgers automatically pickle-free... closing down miserable tustin ranch costco....

time to find ipod and walk ungrateful dogs. and go to the abovementioned awful costco.... it may be a crazy life. but it's our life.

every "week" we decorate a letter. this "week" we painted I with ice and ice crystals and icicles.... clearly some weeks there is no letter of the week :)

we love mcdonalds after school on fridays

snowcapped mountains, praise the lord! allelujia! (i still remember my catholic school hymns after all these years)

at the library with Elliot

i blame OctoMom

for just about everything that is going wrong right now. she came along - just like a bad song - right when Bush was let off the hook for being my scapegoat. now i have Octolina to blame for my tax refund not being in my account yet and for my DVR forgetting to record Real Housewives of NYC and my freezer breaking and killing off the "good icecream" and a Costco size pack of chicken dinosaurs.

speaking of freezers, i have a dream. i want to move all my favorite, most lovely, helpful people to a perfect tree-lined cul-de-sac in Colorado.

• firstly my most excellent freezer-fixing man... honest Pete. he's so honest and true to his name plus he doesn't do that disgusting snot-redraw nose snort that men always do
  
• next Bill Maddox - the ultimate handyman... (i hope he doesn't google his name and read this:) but he MUST MUST move to the cul-de-sac. he is, quite simply, the world's most perfect handyman. he even schedules his sawing and hammering around naptime and can be trusted to ALWAYS unplug his saw.
• next we need a good mechanic - clearly Dave Lee Roth lookalike Kevin is the only choice. he has a fish on his business card for no other reason than because he likes to fish. he charges exactly what it costs to fix a car and only does the work that is needed AND he actually does it too! what a guy!
• we clearly need a handful of sweet unjudgy photo mommies - with beautiful, patient kids - we clearly know who we are :)
• one hairdresser/expert colorist - must be willing to cut/color hair at home while we watch Desperate Housewives together.
• Barry Manilow. i knooooow it's a stretch..... but, ohhh what i would give to sit at his grand piano (in the big picture window overlooking the cul-de-sac) as he sings Mandy....... be still my fanilow heart!!
  
• we need an adorable Mr & Mrs Claus-esque older couple with an overflowing english garden for us to play in - but not spend tedious hours pruning and tending. they will keep (quiet) chickens and drop off fresh eggs twice a week to each resident :)
• a family with quiet teenagers who never have parties and love to babysit for $2 an hour
• a veterinarian with a giving heart of gold and his wife who has connections with either disney/canon/any decent airline (that doesn't use o'hare as a hub thank you very much)

phew. now that is the perfect cul-de-sac :)

off to make one of 'tastes like delivery' pizzas... they NEVER taste like delivery to me no matter how many times i replace the oven.

more from my new home state of Colo--rado

well technically this is Utah... but it's right next door :)

Vail area - it's pretty where i live (soon!)

and the kids are super cute :)


the Daddies were good sports - the Mommies were strictly off limits during snowball fights :)

it was valentine's day afterall <3

they NEVER fell out - all weekend :)

and it only looked chilly - brrr! it was actually not that chilly....

but oohhh, Chili's sounded goood for lunch!

gasp... who does this??! who flirts with their reflection??! is this our child??!

a street... a wide one... lined with trees full of ice crystals... walking distance to superwalmart. i.want.to.go.to.there!!!!

L.O.V.E hobby lobby!

yet another dinosaur museum - this utahraptor has completely captivated my children's imaginations...
ps... does this make anyone else feel nauseous??!!!

why oh why oh why oh why..........

.... do women drive with one foot on the dashboard of their car?? like it is totally cool to do so here in orange (insert expletive) county. i don't get it - it isn't very comfortable nor is it very safe... and it isn't very ladylike that's for sure. it looks... ahem... kind of like you are airing out your parts on doctor's orders. soooo not cool!!!!!!

they don't air their crotches in Colorado, let me tell you that for nothing! nor does anyone have tattoos (or if they do they are discreet dime sized acceptable-in-polite-company-tattoos that don't scream to be noticed) one more thing on the 'pros' list for Colorado.... it has 4 syllables in it's name. i know - orange county has four as does California and that is why i have put up with it here for so long. but i have finally found a new state to call home... Massa(insert expletive)chusetts pending, that is! we leave for Cape Cod very very soon :)

Disneyland today was not that horrible! maybe this place is growing on me, maybe it is not "the crappiest place on earth" after all?? we had lovely Alex for Pathific Palithades on our storybook ride for the 3rd week in a row, i just adore him! and we weren't supervised by the Hitler woman on the train this week so it was all good! huh, who knew that i would actually use the passes more than once.....

making wishes! he really really gets into it - and confided that he wished for a utahraptor this week :)


Dumbo ride, a ride he told me repeatedly was too dumb to ride (i think he liked it!)


arrghh!! open your eyes Danny - nooo, don't hold them open!


of all the lame rides in the park, this is cleeeearly my favorite... and a great ear infection test to boot!


being a "wion" in the wild animal cage

facebook

sucks! i believe it's just me because everyone else there seems to be having the time of their lives. but i am NOT! it is the most useless thing ever, i have to go to my email to check what is written on my 'wall' and sometimes the email just says a note was added and i can't find hide nor hair of it but i know everyone else can read it! yup, probably a blackberry is too complicated for me (but i want still want one, damnit)

the fight over Billy the elephant is emotionally exhausting. my gut reaction is the same as Cher - that he should go to the sanctuary - his old friends are already there waiting for him! but Slash and Betty White say keep him at the zoo... and i just adore Betty White so i am obligated to reconsider. anxiously awaiting Bob Barker's input...

our trip to Colorado was so wonderful! i hate California even more now (which i didnt think was even possible) it snowed everyday, a delightful light dusting of snow that acted as a perfect reflector/softbox but never made getting around hard. spray paint was NOT locked up in walmart - plus 100 points! real life checkers in stores - i didn't hear 'unexpected item in bagging area' for four entire blissful days! they had fazolis! and heated restrooms at the (better than Disneyland) playgrounds! did i mention perfect soft light and no harsh shadows e-v-e-r? parks full of whimsical bronze statues! dinosaur museums! hobby lobby! it's official, i am not ordering any more stationery with this address on :)

a convenient rest stop

gasp. someone stole my idea :)

they have talked about nothing else since seeing Matthew's basement playroom :)