mother's day

having passed countless hallmark displays in the past month, i have been pondering who should truly get to be celebrated on mother's day....

surely not sisters? or aunts? or even grandmothers for that matter - they have had their moment in the spotlight, for heaven's sake! now it's OUR turn to shine! i think to qualify for mother's day, one should use the following scoring system - if you do any of the below, give yourself 10 points each time. if your score comes to 150,000,000 within a year, then you are officially entitled to reap the rewards on mother's day :)

• answer questions about whether sand sinks into quicksand while trying to merge safely onto a deadstopped freeway in rush hour
• answer questions about whether motorcycles sink into quicksand while trying to get off dead stopped freeway in rush hour
  
• make weetabix sound more exciting and delicious than fruity pebbles with a bag of sugar dumped on top
• cook chicken noodle soup at 7:30am (bleck)
  
• make 22 perfect little brownies for your kid's class and try very hard not eat them before delivery
• slay monsters who hide under the bed and explain over and over and over that dinosaurs will NOT break into the house during the night and eat us
• exhibit oscar-worthy acting skills when emphatically kissing invisible boo-boos
• make shots sound like noooo big deal when you are quaking with fear inside (20 points for this)
• give up your last bit of water on a 100 degree day
• ditto with the burger when your kid drops theirs
• ditto with the icecream cone. and the cotton candy. and your precious dairy milk
• pretend not to be freaked out by getting poop on your hands
• or blood
• or vomit
• carry 50 pound sleeping child covered in sand and water up 75 beach steps without dying of heat exhaustion
• run in a blind panic around the house looking for Ducky Dinosaur because you left your kid in the car unattended with the doors locked for 45 seconds
• use your last $3 on a happy meal for your kid when you are dying of hunger
  
• hold your pee all the way home because your child is napping
  
• cheerlead your kid to do the grocery store self-scanner as fast as possible, because they insist on doing it themselves and you are getting the 'death look' from the people in line without kids
• feel guilty ALL the time for absolutely every little thing.... such as telling this little boy off for kicking the groceries to smithereens... and turning round and seeing this heartbreaking tearstained little face :(

earlier... at the beach

even earlier, taking Sam to school

him shooting me shooting him



ocean front Trader Joes - very housewives of OC :|