o. m. g.

i have almost been killed THREE TIMES today already - and it's only 10:48am :|

first i was trying to make a piece of toast, as always doing twelve other things at once, of course. i was sweeping, packing up my sock monkey sewing supplies and getting ready for swim class, when the toast started to smolder and BURN and suffocate me with accrid black smoke (i am soooo NOT exaggerating) dodging death, i carried the toast outside and hosed it down - disaster averted.... for a little while longer :0

secondly i was waiting at a painfully slow left turn when my light turned to green and i started to go. suddenly out of nowhere - SWOOOOOOOSH! a car literally going 10000 mph (driven by a completely clueless old man, of course) sped through the light, almost killing everyone in his path :|

i went home determined to do something much much safer and commenced to texting my friend with my fancy white phone. ping! one second later, 'she' sent me a note back. horray! we kept on a nice conversation and 'she' said she was around and we could get together for dinner. suddenly the 'friend' turned all axe-murderer-like and wasn't at all agreeable about the hat - gasp, only weirdos don't like the hat and certainly no friend of mine would turn up their nose at pastrami sandwiches and chili cheese fries... i became instantly suspicious and realized - dun dun dun - i was setting up a date with a potential axe murderer :|

i am now scared to take a shower incase i slip and crack my head open. or eat fish fingers for dinner in case i choke to death on an invisible fish bone. i really need to go to walmart but i am scared i will be killed by a lunatic customer. i wonder is it safe to go to the zoo....? i am about to find out :| more later.....