oh. my. gawd.

i will never ever again ponder and pore over that mysterious box at trader joe's that says it is an 'entire body cleanse' :|

last night i started my 14 day 'cleanse'. i set out the pills - seven of them no less - HUGE too - in plastic capsules i swear that were thicker than tupperware, and got a big jug of water to wash them down. well it took at least 10 jugs of water to swallow all those pills, they were absolutely disgusting and smelled like old people. one time we went to Vegas, unbeknownst to us there was a geriatric convention going on, and the smell of Vegas that trip was the smell of my disgusting vomity burps all night -vitamins and psyllium and moth balls. sooooo not cool - i had to brush my teeth over and over again and douse myself with baby powder and baby lotion to counterbalance the elderly smell seeping from my pores.

and my tummy, oh the agony - gurgling and stirring all night long... and awful restless legs too.... i went online and found like A HUNDRED reviews about this program, people saying they choked on the pills, other people doing powdery burps that smelled like old people, others saying they immediately got really bad flu and by day 14 were at death's door.... no-one said ANYTHING about dropping 10 pounds and being able to fasten up their jeans again :| it was BAD - i didn't sleep all night thinking about it, drinking water so i wouldn't choke, cough up powder or contract the plague.

thankfully TJs have a remarkably awesome return policy - even for opened/hated items and i was able to get all my money back AND see Pedro Hernandez so it ended well :) and the tasting hut was serving THE most delicious mahi mahi burgers which were so heavenly (one might even say: "sex on a plate":) and only 100 calories, 5 fat grams and 15 grams of protein :) so i think it's official: i am a fully fledged pescatarian till i can muster up more willpower to go fully vegetarian.... besides you can't live in Cape Cod if you don't like fish, right??!

back later... maybe with pictures xoxo