i'm not one to complain white person complaints but.......

oh my gawd i hate times a million the new maps on the iPhone - i want to smash my phone to bits everytime i use it :|

and that tune wiki never has the dumb words to anything anymore - how am i supposed to sing with passion and conviction without the right words in front of me?  stupid app!

and that i can't possibly type in a password without it capitalizing some random letter and then telling "we know typing on a phone sucks, right?!" yes it does, but i GOT IT RIGHT!!!  the stupid phone got it wrong :|

i wish Johnnie Boden would stop emailing me.  i don't want his overpriced, scratchy wool clothes... maybe if i press unsubscribe......?

i am so canceling Katie Couric (if i can figure out how - oh, to be a man)  yesterday she had that regurgitated haybag Donald Trump on her show.  seriously is she blind????  if she hasn't got this shit figured out by OCTOBER she's dead to me.  officially

also Ricki Lake really needs to stop talking about vaginas.  it's just not ladylike and i hate that awful word (i have never said it out loud - ever.  EVER!!!!!!!  wawatutu, front lady bottom, baby maker, ladyparts - but never the V word... and don't get me started on the P word)

also Jeff Lewis needs to fire Vanina - and not just because of her name :|  but because she is the most uninteresting person ever

i hate when weekends are all booked up by Tuesday - it's just not fair

i am stressing about Costco.  i don't know.... where will i buy milk from?  and paper towels?  and print my 12x18 pictures...?  and get a huge pizza when we have to feed the 5000?  it's such a long way to Massachusetts Costco and there are like 3 in the whole state :|  i bet it's full of people all grabbing samples and pushing through tiny spaces, like my worst shopping nightmare....

breathe.  and write to Costco to open one in my new town (yes, a cute little TOWN!!!)

i am going back to the vet today, this time with Courage the cowardly cat.  he has been 'manscaping' his fur :|  either he is channeling my anxiety or he has a fur condition.  please don't make it cost more than $400 (which seems to be the standard vet charge)

got to get more coffee and read Sneetches and Other Stories since Danny's homework is to write about the book he read that day, but if he does his homework right after school, that means he has to read after doing math and spelling and it's just too much time at the table!  so we read in the am and write in the pm