things that make me itchy and stabby

this article in which the waiter/writer hates everyone he has ever waited on.  a little bitchy, perhaps....?  YES, i want a booth. and no, not a half booth.  and not in the bar either.  why?  because i'm paying a 400% markup for the experience of dining out.  and i'll be darned if that experience is going to suck.  and yes i want ketchup when i want ketchup (at home we keep it full up at all times to avoid such emergencies)  and a refill.  and another one.  and napkins.  and a spare plate.  and a little balsamic vinegar on the side.  and i reserve the right to ask for whatever i need whenever i need it, not at the convenience of the server - because IT'S THEIR JOB!  bloody hell fire :|

the release of the Sandy Hook 911 calls.  just........ why????? i don't get how it could possibly make anything easier or better?

reading the words Rush Limbaugh and orgasm in the same story lifetime - yeah, it's OK: i didn't really want to eat today anyway ;)  ewwwwwwwwwww.  that man is more vomit inducing than dog feces.  with maggots in it.  a whole bin liner full of it.   that's been sat in the rain for a week.  i'm NOT exactly a fan of his, you see ;)

the elf on the shelf.  i hoped Danny had forgotten about him.  or maybe.... outgrown him.....  but noooo, he asked where Scranton was.  so he's back...... and so is the 5AM freezing cold scramble each morning to move him before Danny gets up :| 

Kirsty in Coronation Street.  i'm sure she's old news now (they're still celebrating Christmas 2012 in my world) but she is on my last nerve right now.  anyway - spoiler alert - i checked my bible and she's gone as of 3 April 2013 :) 

cats pushing things off shelves.  WHY do they do this???! 

cats needing assistance with doors (grrrrrrr!)

chocolate and fruit in the same bite.  or even in the same hemisphere.  it's just wrong.  and yes, i HAVE tried chocolate covered strawberries.....

the word 'hun'

Spotify.  tonight i only wanted to listen to TWO SONGS: 'Radio Gaga' by Queen and 'Get Back' by the Beatles.  Spotify didn't have either????!  Aaron said because they aren't allowed to play Queen or the Beatles???  and that's a dealbreaker because when i want to hear the Beatles i NEED to hear the Beatles :| 


sore fingers and bandaids that refuse to stay on for longer than 5 minutes

sewing - it's for chumps (see above) 

off to watch Coronation Street* in bed with milky decaf and my favorite pillow and the nice heavy blanket and a bandaid DUCT TAPED to my sore finger for the night :)  

*Angela: it's the most fascinating soap opera about life in a Northern town of England.  i have watched it from birth - it's on hulu.  you will probably not understand the accent.  or what they're even talking about.  or who has had a baby with who (SO confusing).  or why i love it so dearly... it's definitely a homesick British thing :)