oh my gawd

shh don't tell anyone but i kinda hate Rhode Island.  first all the roads are totally all over the place and i always get hopelessly lost because everywhere looks exactly like everywhere else, ie the country or the grey industrial parts of Manchester.  and everyone either drives too fast or too slow.  someone today even had the bumper sticker "i drive like shit"????  ONLY in Rhode Island would that sticker need to exist AND a person be proud/dumb enough to buy it.  sorry Taylor i do NOT mean you, Westerly is loverly ;)

today we spent 11 hours in Hobby Lobby.  i am not even kidding: 11 straight hours.  with no food or drinks.  and it wasn't horrible!  at all!

what was horrible was hearing that hideous song by Jennifer Lopez.  oh my gawd: it's gag inducing and grotesque.  i think it's called something like 'i wub you pappy'.  if i ever swallow something poisonous, i think this song could save my life ;)  but i think i'd rather die ;)

you know what doesn't suck?  when your house is really clean and shiny and you're doing an adorable craft with your child, while making the most wonderful smelling three course dinner, and your neighbor comes to the door and you drag them inside to see THIS IS HOW I LIVE!  EVERYDAY!!!  and you know they're soooo not buying it, but how often do the planets align that well....?  once!!  just once...

fast forward to today and you know what does suck?  being a single mom.  having to not oversleep.  having to lock doors and remember to turn off lights.  my children NEVER stop knocking on the door (to the room i am hiding in) to discuss their new sneakers or Amy's Baking Company.  it absolutely sucks and i have even more empathy for single moms after just ONE DAY of living it.  it's official: lent is over and i need diet coke back for my survival!!!  i have not even had time to wash my hands all day.  i just had to feed them (this is a never ending job) and McDonalds (can't cook because of the unwashed hands) gave Danny, the world's pickiest, most-likely-to-puke-if-you-get-it-even-slightly-wrong eater the WRONG BLOODY MEAL.  and seriously: when you're a single mom, this is definitely grounds for murder.  if i wasn't so exhausted, i'd drive back there just to hack that comatose asshole drivethru guy to pieces with my unwashed hands!!  instead i'm going to do so with my sharp tongue via the online survey.  (also: i get a free egg mcmuffin for my trouble, as oppose to life ;)

i find it totally crazy that noone knows how Peaches Geldof died.  i need to know: i keep thinking we are having earthquakes but no-one else feels them but me?  there is no webmd diagnosis for this condition.  i need to know how do you go from tweeting to dead in 19 minutes????  and why there is no obvious reason after the post mortem?  HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE????!!!  aarrgggghhh i need to know.

off to fake patience and kindness and indulge in a little pumpkin bread therapy ;)  our Trader Joe's has it ALL YEAR now!! but maybe that's just how it is here at the end of the rainbow...?