inkyblog: the blahest oddest ironicest tuesday

Danny's sweet little much missed friend in CA has written to him twice asking him about horseshoe crabs, and as luck would have it, we found one at the beach and brought it home for our curio cabinet full of dead things. well, this morning i asked Danny about maybe replying to his friend (omg... i am NOT a fan of making children write letters....) and he promised he would and he also wanted to send the dead crab to his friend (aww bless). so i put it on the counter to remind me to mail it (once i had found a horseshoe crab shaped box) and guess what: i accidentally put a box of shredded wheat with raisins (yum!) on it and it broke into a million pieces and no amount of glue or tape could salvage it :(

anyway due to this upset, i totally forgot i had to go to the dentist at 9am till 8:46am. i hate going to the dentist but i love my dentist, so it almost evens out. he's so nice and deathly afraid of inflicting pain and we never actually talk about teeth: only chocolate and Manchester and fish and chips. anyway, he wasn't there - my dentist wasn't there!? and i had a broken tooth and everything! (which wasn't broken, just a craze line and a vivid imagination) i saw some woman named "Bonnie" who was nice i suppose, but not an expert on Coronation Street and where to find good fish and chips in Boston :( and then the woman who cleaned my teeth was the most boring, lame, emotionless, pointless excuse for a human being. and guess what? she was freaking ENGLISH. isn't that ironic? (or just a total bummer....? why do some English people get all the personality and others get none...? like not just none, but minus zero personality. i think there are good and bad batches of English people. luckily i'm from a good batch :)

anyway next i went to get a manicure, as i always do after any dental experience. and guess who did my nails? a OLD WHITE MAN. not a young asian lady. the absolute polar opposite??????! and none of the nail polishes had cute names like 'spaghetti strap' and 'eternal optimist'. they had numbers??? i found 643 (my lucky number) but it was a gross shimmery white color (bleck). so i settled for our house number instead which is oxblood. oh yeah and that old man asked me what on earth possessed me to keep my nails short???? whhhhat????!

i absolutely hate subscribe&save. how come things don't arrive for an entire month??? i want one thing now and the next in a month... arggghh

also i hate cartwheel. i hate it. times a million. it's stupid and lame that some people save money and other people buying the exact same things don't (namely me, because i ALWAYS forget about it, thanks to chatty Cathy the cashier, who deliberately distracts me so i'll forget) and i also hate that our Target has completely different sales to the ghetto nasty one down the road. and i hate when moms block the entire aisle letting their kid empty every bag of mini eggs off the shelf because they think it's cute (it's so not) (and also: don't touch all the mini eggs!!!!) and moms who talk loudly to their children for the benefit of everyone around. and mommies who just get in my way. i served my debt to society - i've carried 30 pounds of snot and tantrums around Target for YEARS - now out of my childfree way!

off to make my 2014 blurb book. yes: i am THAT ahead!!!! not everything today sucks :)

adorable x 4