rebel without a cause

i can't follow recipes, they bore me to death. so i improvise the hell out of them, using whatever i find in the pantry and change out things that sound gross, like crisco, for yummy butter and instead of walnuts, another handful of m&ms and a scoop of peanut butter for extra creaminess. i figure my inability to follow recipes stems from the typical 30something mid-life crisis that every woman around me seems to be suffering through. never one to never pierce my nose, nor tattoo a bible-reading owl on my lower back, my attempt to shock others is refusing to use a cup to measure out flour and making recipe 'mash-ups' of lyonnaise potatoes with an au gratin sauce. it's easier than stressing out about trying to wash bright blue bad idea streaks out of my hair too :)

i am worried that Danny is in training to become a serial killer. he has a toy snake... they are thick as thieves and go everywhere together. and do you know what that snake was plotting to do with Danny today? go hunting and catch and eat a toy cat! i once saw on Dr Phil that some little kid killed the family's puppy and was sent straight to the loony bin after being branded a future serial killer by the good doc. must arrange to wash mister snake and mysteriously 'lose' him.... he is a very bad influence on my son

we sat next to the most fascinating/terrifying Spanglish family yesterday in mcdonalds (yes i am obsessed with their french fries). the woman took hooooours to order her food in an attempt to avoid bad things (it's mcdonalds, lady...) then freaked out when the soda machine had no sugar free drinks for her organic children, shrieking "they'll be wild if we give them sugar, honey!!" to her beaten-down husband. then she had a total fit when her kids dared to touch their food without going through a 5 step hand washing process. my husband is SO LUCKY i am me, that is all i can say ;) (right??? right!)

at target with mister snake

hanging out in starbucks


he takes hanging out literally

this is what kind of day tomorrow is :)