it is 12:04pm and i am in bed :| completely and utterly exhausted and emotionally drained after spending just 37 minutes in target this morning... Danny can be very very very very very hard work. the boy has wanted a skateboard since before he could walk. he is a clown/acrobat/daredevil and no trip to target is complete without him coveting the skateboards, taking one for a spin around the toy section and begging and pleading for one.
well today we went for a new bicycle helmet, which came with free elbow/knee pads, perfect for a little skateboarder. Danny pleaded and pleaded as usual with the little skateboard tucked under one arm so i could take a picture (he sure knows how to win me over...) and today i cracked. and bought him the fricking skateboard. i don't know how this happened but now my precious little 4 year old who at one point was kept alive by ventilators and tubes, who has a 2 inch long scar over one eye, who has multiple blood blisters on his fingers and a knocked out front tooth has a skateboard :|
i came home and Danny scampered outside happy as can be with his skateboard and helmet, etc. and i cried..... and cried and cried and cried.... and cried and cried and cried. for hours! i am just so sooooo worn down and weakened and desperate for a few days' escape when i don't have to think, and be firm and consistent all day long, and have the strength to lift 50 pounds of child into and out of shopping carts over and over again, ready to jump up and fix a bloody knee at a second's notice, setting out activities and clearing them up for kids who get bored after 10 minutes and onto the next thing before you can even catch your breath, making snacks and tossing them in the trash untouched.
sigh. going to sleep.... back after the fog lifts
What I read in November 2020
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It’s almost the end of the year! The kids are going to be done with school
any day now, I am so excited. That means my book reading will go down
signific...
oh girl...you sound totally emotionally spent. I'm sending your some cyber "you time". Hope it helps.
ReplyDeleteOh Carol, I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a tough time right now. All mama's go through it and I've for sure had my share of these days that I just spend crying. It's so hard to be a stay at home mom and having 2 kids you have to tote around with you. If you ever need to talk I am always here for you. Get a babysitter for a day or two and just relax. we all need it at times and it really does help. If I was closer I'd gladly watch the boys for a bit.
ReplyDeletelots of hugs.
my son lost his front tooth at 18 mo and is now 4... he is a little daredevil and no matter what i say he will always have an excuse/ answer for everything. i have been there... when you look back and think "now how did he get me to buy this now?"
ReplyDelete4 is a very though age!
Oh Carol, I wish I was closer....
ReplyDeleteSending you cyber hugs and cartons of cadbury's and Mary Poppins and a long soak in the tub and a foot massage and a big beam-me-up-Scotty.
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you love.
I think it's the new trend for boys in the 2-5 year range to have at least 1 tooth missing. :) 6 our of 8 boys on my block that age have lost a tooth. "All the cool kids are doing it." Teehee.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you are having an emotional time right now. I am right there with you, though. Everything you wrote sounds so familiar. Thank you for saying it out loud!! (Though, I don't mind "little ones" as much as I hate hate hate when little girls are referred to as princesses - does that mean they are entitled to be little spoiled, selfish brats? Sorry, went off on my own tirade).
I love all the suggestions to relax. Please take care of you. You are so special.