my new life

i have subscribed to martha stewart living in a bid to become as perfect and wholesome(disregard jail time) as the queen of america herself!! (and to support Sam's school fundraiser which also checks those boxes) so far she has bombarded me with several magazines and i am overwhelmed with the pressure to keep up with the daily to-do lists and recipes and ideas she insists are easier than they look but even the shopping list is daunting and contains ingredients i don't even understand like sanding sugar and sugar pumpkin... they don't have such fancy things at my albertsons :(

today i was all set to bathe the cats, work out (hahahaha), and 'start amaryllis and paperwhites for christmas displays' (like i know what that means) when i noticed - i have been using the wrong calendar! i should be working out (apparently that's a weekly occurance), cleaning out gutters and adding leaves to compost, then staking boxwoods with bamboo and wrapping them in burlap. sigh - i will NEVER get the hang of this :|

though clearly she knows what she's talking about - because if i had been following her calendar all week (admittedly on the wrong week...) i would have saved myself running out of sugar on tuesday (she replenished her baking supplies on monday and gave the unwanted crap to the food bank) and not having hand sanitizer in my car on wednesday and having to make a mercy dash to buy some. i'm sticking with the program! even though i don't technically have beehives to winterize :)

today i want to make this nut wreath. yes, i want to... but firstly i don't know what the hell 'size' is - it says it's an adhesive but i can just picture the scenario of orange aprons standing around me snickering in home depot when i ask for 'size', and then joanns - repeat scenario but with old dears trying to touch my pretend baby while making me feel AWFUL because he has no blanket/hat/socks/pacifier, instead of looking for my damned 'SIZE' :| and secondly, i don't know what mica is... the only mica i know is spelled mika and he sings like a girl (according to Danny, not me) urgh, maybe target just sell the wreath for $19.99....?

i did spy these cookies advertised in the half advertisements magazine... mmmm!!!! they are filled with gooey chocolate/caramel and i MUST HAVE THEM today!!

and this adorable little puppy who reminds me so much of Romeo :)

back later when i have finished my to-do list and have nuts hanging on my front door :)

xoxoxo

ps i want to make these totally andy warhol glitter portraits next!!!