my robot "it"

• i don't think i really like the roomba
• and not just because the cats won't ride on it
• it is SO RUDE - it does a 180 degree turn if it sees dirt in front of it
• and it hides in the laundry room and pretends to get 'stuck'
• i follow it around pushing dirt right in front of it and it refuses to pick it up every single time so i have to do it - but it's IT'S JOB!
• it plays this triumphant little fanfare when it's done even though the floor is still an inch thick with cat hair
• and in the event that it is feeling lazy, it plays a sinister tune to let me know it's not feeling well and it's going back to bed
• or worse still it goes somewhere really dusty and gross (usually under the bed where it flatly refuses to actually CLEAN) and says 'uh-oh' over and over and over again like it's taunting me to go and find it and get all dusty and gross
• then i have to clean it's brushes using a special comb (eye roll)
• it follows the dogs around bumping into their legs and makes them all skittish and crazy
• it goes over the same little area over and over again (by the dog food - it seems to have it in for the dogs...) and seems genuinely to be messing with everyone's mind (dogs included)
• i always end up giving up and doing the damned job myself :(
• it requires cleaning : did i mention it has a special comb???!
• it can't go from the wood in the kitchen to the pebbles in the hallway without huge drama and upset and the above mentioned sinister music playing
• it has the work ethic and personality of a spotty teenage boy
• there it goes again to the dog food bowl
• off to vacuum - thanks for nothing roomba