i'm not the kind of mum who...

• enjoys meeting a bunch of other moms at the park (except if they're really sweet and they like taking pictures and it's golden hour :)

• ever thinks to pack fresh fruit in little containers in a little cooler with an ice pack

• is adept enough to talk/text on the phone when the kids are around/in the car

• is in a moms' group of any kind :)
  

• signs my kids up for tons of classes and camps

• refers to other moms as 'mama' :|

• can handle ER visits/shots without crying like a sap :|

• could ever cope with having more children than i have hands
  

• is good about wiping hands and faces

• believes in spending more than $3 on an icecream cone for a child when there's a thrifty or mcdonalds around the corner :)
  

• likes going to theme parks and childrens' museums and zoos

• brags that my kids can speak spanish fluently, when they can say a handful of words ;)

• could ever ever ever home school - like ever :|

• insists my kids don't do anything that could possibly result in a stain on their clothes, no matter how fun it is

• freaks out about my kids jumping in puddles (i do not understand this irrational phobia of water that seemingly all OC mothers have...)

• stresses about feet on the couch and jumping on the bed and splashing in the bath

• instills fear in my kids of ever touching the toilet door or flusher thingie with their hands (they always wash their hands and they have approximately one sick day per school year)
  

• takes my kids out after 7pm to a grown-up restaurant because i can't bear to be around cranky/needy children

however..... i am the kind of mum who:

• believes in being underscheduled and only having one place to be each day

• lets my kids get their own drinks and snacks even if they make a mess

• buys far too many adorable, starry, coordinating items from mini boden :)
  

• loves having a school drive-thru drop-off and being able to park in the garage and carry my groceries 10 feet to the kitchen

• believes all clothes should be comfortable, non-scratchy, stretchy, soft play clothes

• after living in an apartment for all of seven months in 1996, still appreciates - every single day - having a washer and dryer for alllllllll the many many many clothes
  

• loves having a big backyard full of secret hiding places, a pool, a swing set, bubbles, chalk, bikes and plasma cars, buckets of plastic dinosaurs and caterpillar trucks, and sprinklers to jump in on the hottest of days

• proudly owns her very own pink cotton candy maker (commercial grade :)

• is happy for an extra week of furlough days off next school year (we get all of thanksgiving week!)

• will drive up to 30 miles collecting coveted McDonalds happy meals toys :)

• doesn't mind sand, spills and cookie crumbs in the car

• thinks a little Michael Jackson in the car can make everything alright

• always has wipes, band aids and cool drinks for everyone

• and spare clothes/towels/baby powder/sunblock/sand toys/quarters in case we ever are passing a pretty looking beach :)

• plays in the sand pit too, if someone is looking lonely

• believes a houseful of animals makes for gentle, responsible, allergy-free children

• insists on good manners, always

• never leaves home without a camera and a wide angle lens

• has more iphone apps for kids than for me

• is just grateful to be able to put good food on the table, and is not so hung up on the organic-ness of it

• believes that a trip to the pet store is just as good as going to Long Beach aquarium :)