Tuesday, September 11, 2012

yes on hate

19 things i hate in no particular order of how dead to me they are:

  1. that snake-skinned drag queen kris jenner for dissing my sweet Honey Boo Boo child - really kris? because HER family is crass? dear kettle: it's pot - you're black (or something, i'll never get it right and it's not a racist slur, i promise ;)
  2. stars doing voice-overs for cartoons - also directing. because they don't have a job already??? let real human beings have a chance at making a living too!!!
  3. toms shoes. they look like folded-up napkins to me and honestly, i just don't give a tupenny damn that they give a second pair away to poor people, just give me my pair for half price and we'll call it fair ;)
  4. the scruffy family with the ugly house and the chickens and the goats who had a 'yes on 8' sign in 2008 :|  now, they are building some horrible monstrosity out of leftover siding and breeze blocks to house their homophobic goats.  i am sure they are part of a religious cult 
  5. pictures of lunchboxes :| yes i am quite sure you're a totally awesome mommy, much better than me in fact, with my regular rectangular sandwiches - but you really should have married someone who told you you're an awesome mommy everyday, instead of looking to everyone else for validation :|
  6. complete stranger men who shake their heads at women for driving poorly (guilty as charged and i don't care: i'm always on my phone ;) this is why i don't own a gun.  and i keep a permanent prescription for mind-altering drugs so i have an excuse for temporarily losing it at the drop of a hat ;)
  7. also: Clint Eastwood and also by default: Carmel
  8. also: Mitt Romney who reminds me of a Teddy Ruxpin version of Richard Nixon (is it just me....? he's so animatronic... which begs the question: who the hell is controlling him????!)
  9. that burnt food is more fattening than raw food - also that it gives you cancer
  10. wheat thins and triscuits - life is waaaaaaaaaaay too short for things that taste healthy but aren't
  11. TV talent shows and 'wars' 
  12. talking like a pirate - i flatly refuse to do so because it's stupid
  13. people who think stupid is a bad word - because that itself is just plain stupid ;)
  14. also: keep calm and carry on: i would never in a million years keep calm and carry on at someone's request :|
  15. also: live laugh love 
  16. the word: tidbits (it should be titbits)
  17. Christina Aguilara (i am secretly so glad she got fat ;)
  18. the expression: "bring it!" (and the generic lame people who use it to death)
  19. also: "let's do this!"
exhale........................................ off to be truly positive and charming for the rest of the day ;)

4 comments:

  1. omg i hate the lunch box ladies too! i see their pics on instagram and for a second i think to myself "should i be doing that instead of having the kids BUY lunch?" and then i remember, i have a life.

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  2. well i don't really have a life but i certainly don't spend my precious tv/target time making boiled eggs look like cars ;) ohhh i can't wait to be neighbors with you Angela, you are my kinda mommy xoxo

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  3. awwwww shucks. thanks chickie! and of course you have a life. if you didn't you'd be making egg cars!

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  4. can i add to your list?

    {quietly adding my loathing towards the whole thought process of sessions cant possibly happen with sweet little familys unless they are all wearing matching colored outfits from Anthropology}

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