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Sunday, February 10, 2013

Nemo is a meano

it was furrrrrrrrrrreezing in our house and we all had to spend all our time

huddled together in one room - it was bloody awful :)

and i actually think it was 10 degrees warmer outside than inside ;)

the only good side to Nemo was that without power/computer/skype,

Sam was forced to actually spend time with us :) we love you Sam!!!

all snowflakes are unique - trust me i took a picture of every single one ;)

more later...........

Friday, February 08, 2013

i am reporting from the eye of the storm of the century!! (at least, the latest storm of the century ;) and it's all terribly exciting!!! i feel like i should be baking tons of bread and lasagne and cookies and rice crispie treats...........

..... except our bloody oven doesn't bloody work :| ohhhh don't get me started... i am this close >< to stabbing it to death with the ice pick that i had to buy because of the dumb freezer that doesn't make bloody ice... seriously, this is why renting absolutely suuuuuuuucks donkey balls. 20 days till we are homeowners again and i am counting the days till we have necessities like an icemaker and a nice warm garage and kitchen cabinets tall enough for cereal boxes and a bathroom each and a dance-in closet and a central vacuum cleaner and... and... i'm materialistic and shallow, i know, but i've been slightly spoiled and it's not a bad thing ;)

today, as we are (hoping to be) snowed in, i am declaring an official spa-at-home day! root touch ups! deep conditioning! an aggressive, extra-scrubby course of microdermabrasion, teeth whitening, nail painting and a catch-up of the Jodi Arias murder case on Dr Drew ;)

psst: i am slightly obsessed with said show and all the fascinating details of Mormon love gone terribly awry. OMG i want to be in that courtroom SO BADLY!!!! but i don't understand why they talk in such detail and disgust about the pictures but don't actually show them.... it's just not fair. i don't think penises (or even that WORD and the V word) are even allowed on TV... Americans are so puritanical :(

my birthday bracelet has finally been replaced - i rushed out to do that before the storm of the century :| no thanks at all to the cranky old battle-axe at the store who accused me of catching it on something and being careless with my precious gift, because apparently she has had an Alex and Ani bracelet since the Victorian era and it is has never broken. honestly i have the patience of a saint.

off to go and rescue the nachos from the broiler - oh yes we can broil, but i have no clue what that actually means other than turning the top of food black. stupid cooker.

from England with love

Alex? Ani? WTF????

pre-Valentine's day storm essentials

in the movie of my life, this guy will play my husband. and i will play me :)

i'm the kind of Mummy that offers to sort all the letters for the teacher (curtsy)

more emergency storm supplies - crusty french bread, water, boston cream and jelly donuts, Friendly's brownie icecream and daffies from England

obsessed with dots and stripes and the color blue a little :)

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

five things wednesday

i have a coupon for Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel and West Elm and still can't find the perfect dining table for our perfect dining room. it must be rustic but not twee, farmhouse but not redneck, modern but not IKEA, reclaimed but not super expensive, not too dark but not too light, more Big Sur than Yosemite, able to seat 6 but not too huuuuuge and also go perfectly with these pretty chairs:

this is the only table that comes close but look at the legs... they turn sideways like it's a crab. why???????? i wish i could just make things. or at least use a saw (and be granted the patience to use it correctly and not saw through the floor)

i looked at couches yesterday. they are either leather (which is too cold and slippery) or that awful microfiber stuff that i would spend h-o-u-r-s grooming and stroking so it looks even. or corduroy - which you couldn't sleep on or it would make headlines. or that cotton fabric that the cats would pulverize. it's official, we are going to be eating/sitting/sleeping on cranberry crates and lobster pots :|

oh yeah don't get me started on beds :| apparently if you have a king sized bed you are woefully out of luck because all the king bed frames here are designed for blind people - i can't stand curves, arches and finials. i need to start my own furniture store........ (with Nate Berkus obviously ;)

back later with the fifth thing (it's one of those mornings...)

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

five things tuesday

today our attractive new toaster and blender arrive!! horray for attractive new things that are being replaced purely because the old ones are too ugly for an attractive new kitchen :)

oh yes and it's all official - that house, the pretty one with the stairs, is really ours :)

our laundry is entirely up to date. oh yeah, that's a 'thing' alright!!

today i went to the Market Basket and DIDN'T buy a dozen donuts. this is going to be a changing day in my life (she lied)

also i didn't buy any diet coke. only water. i regret this already (i have a headache) but i'm seriously giving up soda for lent and renting a "seaman cottage" this Summer with the money i 'save' (psst: when is lent again...? i saw hot cross buns in the Market Basket (and didn't buy them) so i know it's getting close)

back later with pics xox

things i don't miss about California

luke warm, stagnant tasting 'cold' water from the tap - with invisible floaty germs multiplying and feasting on each other's poo in it.  yes - ewwww is right!!!!

no roundabouts (except that lame excuse for a roundabout in downtown Orange that has crosswalks all over it because that makes sense???!)  how do i even begin to adequately express my love for roundabouts.... for starters: you NEVER EVER EVER STOP DRIVING here!!! like EVER!!! our mileage per tank of gas has increased from 320 miles to 370 miles here! we get everywhere ten minutes before the GPS lady predicts! they make you feel like you're in the Grand Prix! if you miss your turn, you just go around again! and you could just keep going around and around again if you felt like it - no-one would even notice or care! also some roundabouts have pretty festive displays on them!  my favorite one is the huuuuge topiary Cape Cod display one!! anyway, they're awesome and very lovely and i want my ashes scattered on a roundabout (preferably the topiary one ;)

they don't have Goldfish bread in California. and i have no idea why :|

they don't have clouds in California.  every sky is a perfect landcape of cotton candy clouds here

they don't have good pizza in California. at all. and i've tried every single place in the state ;)

76% of Californians are hyper-religious and judgy and in your face about it. religion is most definitely like a penis - i don't care if you have one or not, but pleeeeease just keep it tucked well away... for i do NOT need to know about it :)

the beaches are dirtier, full of half-eaten corn cobs and dead seagulls and there are those ugly oil rigs that you have to photoshop out

the sand isn't as white and full of perfect white shells and the sea isn't calm and shining like it is here

the animals shelters are overflowing with overbred, unloved cats, dogs and rabbits in California... 8 out of 10 animals don't make it out alive. here you never ever see a desperate-looking stray dog wandering at the side of the road or a dead cat run over 17 times for the sport of it (and that fact alone was worth driving 3000 miles way way away from) if you do see a wild animal dead in the road, everyone drives carefully around it and it's disposed of within an hour (just the way a civilized society should operate)

the post offices here are actually nice places that smell like brown paper packages tied up with string

the don't have Portuguese English muffins in California!

next episode: things i actually do miss about California ;)