Wednesday, June 24, 2009

wednesday - the early edition

oh my god. yes i said god... and i didn't even capitalize it because i am that BAD! i have 4 susie cupcakes sitting in my fridge just begging to be gobbled up by me, the big bad wolf. but i didn't buy them for me you see.... and it would be so terrible to have to go and face Susie again this morning with the exact same order with frosting all around my mouth and that crazed sugared up look in my eyes... i couldn't do it. you see i pretend to be all real housewife of OC when i go in there and would NEVER EVER eat a whole cupcake, are you kidding me? eat an entire cupcake? i would be barfing for weeks after that! would it be so terrible to take a palette knife dipped in warm water and carefully swirl the frosting a little thus getting some on my palette knife and licking it? yes i lick knives, i live on the edge.

my coffee is extra strong, extra sweet and extra dark today... which is good and bad, i am going to need at least 4 cups each requiring a delicious toaster strudel alongside it :|

i am writing a book! the kind of book that will be impossible to put down! that will be made into a movie!! and people will beg for a sequel but i won't have any more mean people left to write about because they're all in the first one! it's going to be so completely awesome!!! and there's going to be a copy under everyone's chairs and everything!! but i refuse to dance with Ellen... i love her and all but the thought of it makes me break out in pusules... i am already stressing about it :|

off to swim class! it's another beautiful sunny day in paradise!! (how i miss rain)

p.s. have i mentioned how much i HATE children singing???? it's like syrup of ipecac to my system. now imagine a never-ending infomercial of children singing..... who buys those CDs???


  1. oh my hell woman, you have me choking on my coffee this morning. I would never fit in with the OC group, i would stand out like a big zit with my holey clothes that don't require dry cleaning.

    I want to be in your book and I want a signed copy. I'll dance with Ellen for you, that way you don't have to.

    oh those CD's are awful and should be banned.

  2. can you send me the cupcake? i will eat it. puleeeez

  3. i hate those cd's! they're god awful (not even in caps;))

  4. Your tonails look AWESOME!! I love the dots!! Who would have thought that the dotter would ACTUALLY be in the nail polish section? Yeesh, I make everything so difficult.

    The tape is hysterical!

    The pictures are phenomenal! How do you get such cute pictures?

    Eat a LOT at the tea. Life is too short to deprive yourself, right? Yes. Right. :)

    Love, Steph