he was a very good rat....

today we said goodbye to our sweetest Teddy Bear, our little grey rat :( his face had become swollen to the point where his eyes were almost closed, he didn't seem to be able to see and he was struggling to eat anything but the softest of foods (served to him on a teaspoon in his hammock, begging him please please please to just try one little bite).... so sadly it was time for him to go and be with Rocky 1 and Pollyjean and Hammie and Ben and Tabitha and Jem and Rocky 2 and Jinx and Skippy and Shocker and Monte and Tootsie and all the other pets we've loved and lost :(

poor Jerry has now been widowed twice, and i foresee a lot more time hanging out with him... he is looking a little lost and seems to be checking around for his best friend :( the cats both stayed a respectful distance from Teddy today... usually they come up to sniff him but today they gave him plenty space and seemed to sense that he was really struggling to stay alive...

this day unfortunately coincided with my 'time of the month' emotional breakdown and i spent a lot of the day holding Teddy and watching him deteriorate... until Aaron, always my knight in shining armor, called the nice vet who said to bring him in, and he did... he's always there for the awful jobs that i just cannot face (and yet another the reason i love him so)

it seems completely absurd to be so sad over a rat... i love all animals without exception but i would never have predicted that a rat could win me over like this, because... they're just not that cute :( they have really icky scaly tails. and huge brown teeth. they have red mucous so their noses and eyes look bloody and horrific when they're poorly. and they're poorly A LOT and take quite a bit of research to keep alive. lowers voice: they have big ugly testicles that drag behind them like two mesh bags of groceries (blush) and they PEE on you all the time - and poop too!


but... they are sooooo charming and sweet and loving and never ever ever bite, no matter how overzealous kids are with them - they chatter their teeth when they're enjoying your company and sit on your shoulder for hours watching Dr Phil. they are patient and stoic when shaky hands are trimming their nails. they love good food and gobble up the fattening stuff, leaving the salady stuff for if they're still hungry later :)

they are a lesson in overlooking outward appearances, and finding absolute inner beauty and loveliness. i love that they have taught my boys (and me) to never to judge a book by it's cover. and for that, i love my sweet rattie boys so much xoxox

headaches, poop bags and Joann :|

suffering

from a horrible icky oversleep till 7:38am and the world's hugest migraine this morning.... even aleve and chocolate isn't helping and to overquote Kurt Cobain "i hate myself and i want to DIE!!!" :(

wondering

why on earth Joann's closes at 7pm on sundays... i found this out when i arrived at 6:54pm last night ready to shop and immediately had to bring my NO PURCHASES to the checkstand :( BAD Joann!

too poorly

to even sort through all my freezer foods and put them in their shiny brand new townhome - it's that bad :(

waiting

for one large beautiful bottle of Chanel no 19 to arrive :)

still waiting

for the darned bags on board from amazon.com - we ran out of leash bags last monday, this is a travesty, we are forced to use baby powder scented diaper sacks... dog poop + baby powder = :(

still loving

Obama - no matter what they say (they can suck my left nut:)

wishing

Columbus Day meant a day off... my head wishes this especially. i bet Joanns has a sale and everything....

loving

letters from old friends and catching up

not wanting

to walk though i know i must, and i'll kick myself if i don't...

wanting

Just Dance 2 which is out tomorrow!!! but i won't be buying it because i have to wait till it's on sale for $24 or less....

though.....
i will be buying MJ: the experience the DAY it comes out - 23 November - at full retail price, and will be replenishing all wii batteries on 22 November to avoid nervous breakdowns on THE DAY :)

10-10-10

dined
at our Italian restaurant by the fake lake last night - soo soooo good!! the garlic bread is so densely buttery and garlicy... possibly the best garlic i ever had :| i really really want to learn to make my own pizza there next time, and bake it in their wood fired oven to charred perfection - they should offer cooking classes, i'd totally take them!!

stopped
at Thrifty for icecream and we didn't even have the kids with us :)

found
a really awesome rustic Big Sur coffee table at the habitat for humanity store that for some reason we didn't buy that very second even though it was only $35 and completely perfect for our den, with rounded corners, room underneath to store rustic toy bins, PLUS we were in our minivan with the seats folded down and everything.... i am forcefully having to sit on my hands so i don't bite my fingers till they bleed, hoping and praying the coffee table is still there in the morning at 9am when they reopen:)

loved
my sweet hubbie for finding and recording Dahmer for me as a surprise - oh, he knows the way to my heart :)

watched a little bit of it over lunch, so it will last a while, with the leftovers of the charred wood fired pizza :)

found
after months of hopeless searching high and low... a beautiful statuesque UPRIGHT FREEZER!! we went to Lowes and boldly asked if we could buy the floor model (we don't pay retail price for anything EVER) because it had a piece of sticky tape on it, thus was clearly no longer sellable :) and they said YES!! and they gave us 30% off the price and free delivery TODAY.... yippee skippee!!

tidied
the entire garage in honor of our new garage freezer. created a huge good will pile and a lot of perfectly empty space

found
Super Mario pyjamas for Danny at Target, i hate clothes with cartoon characters, but for some reason i really really love Mario and he makes Danny so happy he gives me the 'best Mom ever hug' :)

stopped
at IKEA for a new rug and a tray of warm gooey cinnamon rolls for breakfast. i want this for Danny's room but i bet it's temporarily oversold....


made
graham cracker/butter/peanut butter/crushed cornflake/chocolate cookies - they are little cement patties of crispy peanut buttery heaven :)

off to watch for the delivery man (he is due in 75 minutes, not that's i'm counting...) and measure and remeasure and resweep the space where the new freezer will go :)

IHOP, broccoli and sneetches

craving
the root tooty fresh and fruity from IHOP. i know i can't eat most of it but fluffy buttermilk pancakes with a choice of strawberry, apple-cinnamon or blueberry topping sound sooooo good right now :)

thinking
i overdosed on broccoli. my tummy hurts and it is demanding real food in the form of chocolate :)

really wanting
to make something yummy with peanut butter in it too... but not peanut butter cookies with fork marks on top, the thought of them makes me sick (it's a long story... involves loving them/eating far too many/barfing/never wanting to so much as sniff a cookie with fork marks on top ever again:)

wondering
how on earth those miners buried 4 miles underground are still alive after 3 months... how did they have that much food at their disposal...?

wishing
spaghettini wasn't a jazz club... i want to go but the thought of having to listen to jazz is baaaaad :)

not loving
the elitism and sneetchiness of the boys' school right now. the star belly kids are all walking around with ducks on lanyards for participating in the school fundraiser... then there are the kids without ducks whose parents don't have the means to buy vast amounts of useless junk. kids shouldn't be punished and singled out as a way of blackmailing parents into write checks they can't afford - it's just not very nice :(

loving
Cat from the real housewives of DC. yes her voice is far too husky, but her sense of britishness and disdain for robots with capped teeth is refreshing and makes me very very homesick for normal people :)

hmmm...

wondering
if it's just a coincidence that the day i joined the PTO was also the day the planet-destroying 4 letters home per day (plus phone calls every night - and did i mention emails too!) ended... coincidence right... gasp, surely not conspiracy??!

hoping
it doesn't rain today. it can be partly cloudy and even sunny, but please God "no rain!" (love from the little cherubic bumblebee girl who really really really needs to walk today:)

cursing
my darned 'runkeeper' app. on saturday i set my activity to cycling and forgot to change it back to walking... since then it has been tracking all my walks as bike rides and cheating me out of precious calories burned! no wonder the scales never budge!

noticing
that since i went vegetarian the only thing i crave, and dream about and eat straight from the jar when it all gets too overwhelming, is peanut butter. and banana peppers with italian dressing :)

buying
the madeleine pan today - it's been in my cart forever and it's time :) i wonder if i can make peanut butter madeleines.... also buying Mr Rude, a Mr Men book we actually don't have (i know, huh??!)

wondering
why eating oatmeal for breakfast makes my tummy feel more rumbly and hungry for the rest of the day.... shouldn't it make me feel full? it doesn't make sense....

hoping
yesterday's three blood tests (yes three!! my arms are so bruised today....) yield some answers as to why my body refuses to drop an ounce of fat... even if the answer is just plain "work out harder and quit sneaking the ginger cats, you porky pig" :)

really hoping
the nice teacher lady i met at the cat rescue on Monday adopts Cricket, my favorite kitty. she said she's getting him saturday, i will keep my fingers crossed :) and do a backward flip if he's not there on Monday!! i even talked her into volunteering at the shelter :) oh gawd, i am going to be so disappointed if he's still there on monday, and i'll be forced to track her down and kill her. urgh, i hate being so kind and sensitive to homeless animals :| i know where she lives, and where she works - please Pam, don't let me down!!

kind of not loving
apple picking this year.... i think we need to go to Palmdale and see if it's cooler, shadier, less frantic with less grumpy money-grabbing Mormons there. and also visit Sir Lancelot at the gentle barn who we donated $20 to have him saved from the pound :) so technically he's kind of our horse :) and also go to the little pie diner which is as soothing for the soul at the waitress itself :)

neeeeeeeeeeeeding
to go to sticki picki this weekend and take OUR CHRISTMAS CARD portrait there!! our christmas card is going to be covered with millions of glittery stars and teddy bears and hearts all over it :)

off to make breakfast and walk dogs xoxoxx

JFK, Oprah and Martha Stewart

reading
letters from Sam's classmates to him. he is the star of the week and each kid writes him a letter.... apparently Justin Bieber's dog is named Sam too, another girl asks him if he loves almonds and cheese and another kid goes on and on and on about how much he hates JFK airport (which made me nod and smile... i bet he'd hate o'hare too:)

waiting
for all the little mice to go to sleep so i can sneak off and watch Dr Phil in bed in peace and quiet with a nice cup of horlicks (not whore licks) tuesday is housewives day :)

hoping
the doctor can reprogram my body to actually START LOSING WEIGHT tomorrow... surely a hormone is slightly off and there's a pill i can take?? and then maybe walking 7 miles IN THE RAIN might actually start to count for something...?

loving
Martha Stewart - though she makes me feel useless and clumsy - she is my american idol

not loving
Oprah - not loving her at all. she is so obnoxious and brash (and not very nice either ;)

wishing
it was just an itsy bitsy bit warmer around here... the temperature dropped from 113 to around 57 in the past WEEK... it was too cold to even go to Pier One tonight :|

off to bedfordshire, back tomorrow with pics and sad tales about how hard finding the perfect freezer is turning out to be xoxx

sweet things

• an animal resting it's head on you

• shopping in target at 8am

• laughing cow cheese

• Sam requesting it in his lunchpail (horray!!!)

• clean shiny floors

• seeing a friend looking really happy and settled at last

• cleaning Clarice's tank and filling it with white hand selected Cape Cod seashells

• walking to school in a light rain

• it being 66 degrees today!!! i can wear clothes!!!!

• eating a wonderful made-from-scratch dinner together

• amazon.com and the smiley boxes

• raindrops on roses - so corny but true

• Nate Berkus

• sleeping babies

• trader joe's pizza

• the first scoop from a brand new jar of peanut butter - it just tastes so much nuttier :)

• having an ample selection of stamps

• having a really really clean bathroom

• when a craft actually turns out :)

• cutting out all the noise and being around my kind of people

• when the boys stop being goofy and making their cheesy smiles and just look like brothers who are the world to each other

tonight's alive....

listening
to Beachball by R.E.M. (and incase i didn't say it 500 times already, i really want a white A-frame beach house :)

also listening
to 'Penny Lane' by the Beatles and feeling homesick for autumn, not fall. i miss adventures to find Penny Lane and Strawberry Fields and the grave of Eleanor Rigby :) failing the A-frame beach house, i'd love a little ivy covered cottage in a little English village :)

wanting
this rug... but i know it wouldn't look right in my house, nor the english cottage either. yes, it would look much more at home in a little white beach house :)

recovering
from the craziest weekend - yesterday we rode our bikes, then i walked on the treadmill and then we did 'just dance' - we are getting in training for MJ: the experience :) today shopping at target was my only exercise :)

wondering
why when i sneakily put my remote in my pocket so Danny will win at 'just dance', i score more points :|

loving
this dog and hoping he gets a home... gawd, petconnect is going to be the death of me with all the stress

telling
myself i don't need this box of cadbury dairy milks from amazon which is in my cart :)

wanting
to stay at the Ahwahnee in Yosemite next month but it's $500 a night. no matter how much i want to stay there, that doesn't compute to me :) you know it would be full of snotty annoying rich people ;)

waiting
for my delivery of 700 poop bags, 500 sheets of linen paper and 2 packs of instax film from amazon, hopefully they get confused and send me 200 packs by mistake :)

craving
gummivites. but i already had my quota for the day :( i always worry about overdosing on them... they are so yummy

twas one of those days

you know, the really nice ones :)

i walked Sam to school with the dogs (it was 65 blissful degrees!!!) and as i made it back to our street it began to rain... not just rain but pour entire buckets of warm, awesome, bullety hard raindrops that bounce off the ground and make ripples. Danny played outside and after getting soaking wet, actually peacefully surrendered and, no-strait-jacket required, sat for a hair cut!! ohhh how i LOOOOVE cutting hair :) i only cut my finger once and no ears were harmed at all :)

the rain miraculously stopped and i walked Danny to school with the baby, who stayed fast asleep and quiet as a mouse for 5 entire breezy, rain-free miles. my ipod played all my favorite songs on shuffle, it even found some long lost David Lee Roth - yes i am his only fan, but i admit i love him to pieces :) we got home and we watched Real Housewives of DC in bed (the baby is all big gummy smiles watching my trashy tv shows:) oh man, i really really dislike Michaele and her gross husband. they are just yucky - it's the only word for them.

picked up Danny and he excitedly gave me the sales speech for his school fundraiser (completely adorable - it was remembered verbatim from the teacher's pep talk) and we went to Albertsons. things kind of went downhill in there, i called the self checkout thingie a really terrible name (ok several.. but it truly deserved it - who invented that thing? they should be bound, tortured and killed - and then driven over a dozen times - i'd happily do the BTKing and driving) Danny and i ate the french bread on the drive home and i sent a smarting hissy email to Albertsons asking for reimbursement for being one of their checkers for the past 5 years :) i will be waiting for my check in the mail and will be hiring Gloria Allred if it doesn't show up.

speaking of checks, i finally counted the money that's accumulated in my wallet and there is $1480 stuffed in there - that's enough money for 4 tickets to Cape Cod!! now all i have to do is actually make it to the bank :)

Aaron took Mr Teddy with the sad still-very-swollen face back to the vet's... something i've been dreading... i hate vets, they totally take advantage of tender hearted pet lovers such as myself, and i wasn't looking forward to the next set of bills for biopsies/office visits/meds... however Dr Greek is quite possibly the first nice vet i have met since leaving the care of the nice vet in England.

anyway... Dr Greek said the growth is probably something horrible that starts with C, and we should just love him and feed him the best snacks (he loves sweet peas and graham crackers:) and treat him like royalty. which means he's not the kind of vet who robs people blind and guilts them into surgeries, chemo and hospice care... which also means i love him :) he said, of Jerry and Teddy (Jerry went too), that they are the gentlest and sweetest little rats... which i knew, of course, but it was nice to hear today :)

after a small cry, i went to Kohls and got two of my favorite Peace Potions for $2 - that's ONE DOLLAR EACH!! they were truly heaven sent :) then i went to Michaels and found a wooden milk crate to use as a little chair for pictures and a cute canvas tote bag to paint a kitty cat on (already did it) and a teeny tiny bird cage that i just had to have for the christmas tree and picture calendars for 50 cents each! and the dragon wasn't working the register! oh i love Michaels sometimes!!!

now it's bedtime, Sam is having his first sleepover (they're watching movies eating popcorn:) and we have a schmaltzy movie waiting to be watched. and we have 100 calorie icecream bars. it was a good day (with just a twinge of kind-of-expected sadness) xoxox


Mr Bumps loves babysitting :)

Friday too :)

we found this creature in our tomato plants


homemade caramel :)

beautiful boy

he calls it "Big Locks" (as do i now:)

online shopping woes

wondering why petite sundresses never go on sale at Lands End but regular size ones do... you really should get some kind of rebate if you're small, it's just not fair :(
ps i want us to be this couple when we're grown ups (and that little dock would be at the bottom of our garden in Sandwich, MA :) and it would actually be cold enough to wear CLOTHES!!


wondering how safe this birdnest candleholder is... wouldn't the birds nests catch fire and burn down the entire house? or am i the most worrisome person on earth?

hating the Gap... gawd i used to LOVE the Gap too - it's my only store card. they have some 30% off coupon today and i couldn't find a single thing worthy of buying... and Old Navy, even worse. everything has a lame logo on it - i don't do logos. no siree bob

i bet these kate spade earrings and huge and gawdy instead of dainty and demure... how can everyone else wear huge earrings but if i wear huge earrings i look like a boy dressing in his mom's things :(

i bought these mario controllers for the boys... now i am stressing because the controllers need to be removed from their plastic protective things to go into these plastic protective things causing frustration...

also wondering if i need these for birthday/christmas gifts... or if creating a mario obsession is a bad thing (i just love his little overalls:)

we have bought like one of all these recalled fisher price things for our boys over the past ten years and i am a little pissed off - shouldn't we get some kind of compensation for risking their lives due to lead paint and bad design??! now everyone who got our hand-me-downs gets to cash in... IT'S NOT FAIR!

in other news i am still freezer shopping... and awoke thirty times last night absolutely craving laughing cow cheese. i got up at 5am to eat some :|