migraines, monkeys and museums

i spent yesterday looking e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e for super mario mini figures with a raging flashing lights, perfume-hating migraine and one very distraught 5 year old in tow. last week he saw this set of mini figures for $13 at puzzle zoo and has talked about nothing else since. i told him if he did his kindergarten work books, we would go and get them. yesterday he excitedly went to claim his reward and the price had risen from $13 to $30 :| puzzle zoo, you totally suck :( it's definitely time to start a yelp account warning others about such beastly customer service :|

this was also the place that ordered me a monchhichi monkey, but didn't bother to check it's gender, when i SPECIFICALLY ordered a girl monkey (i mean, seriously...???)

at last night's datenight, we had the char bubbled pizza again, even though i had to sit really still, not smell myself (i wore perfume - that was dumb) and not move my head for fear of throwing up all over it. i definitely need to write a review of that place, it will most likely have 4 stars, i will have to take one star off due to feeling sick because they have a tv in the dining room and you can't not look at a tv even if you have a major migraine

this blog by lands end is so woefully tragic... how absolutely generic and stunted do they think their audience is that they need to point these things out??? this quote makes me weep:

Yellow is relaxed and sunny. It can be evening elegant or it can be Sunday morning comfortable. Everyone should have yellow options in their closet.

kill me now :| speaking of... i want to go to here: the museum of death. Aaron says it doesn't sound very kid friendly... but it clearly states there is no age limit and you get to visit the siamese twin turtle(s) for FREE so it's marginally educational... right? and it's not that far from Diddie Riese... just sayin' ;)

we went sailing today at Balboa Island

homesickness and pencil sculpture

listening to:
'h is for the homesick blues' playlist :)

• 'half a world away' rem
  
• 'half a person' smiths
• 'handle with care' traveling wilburys
• 'hang onto yourself' david bowie
  
• 'a hard rains a-gonna fall' - bryan ferry (how come itunes files this under h.....? )
• 'wrote for luck' happy mondays (the same reason this is filed under h :)
  
• 'hello goodbye' beatles
• 'hey bulldog' beatles
  
• 'here comes the rain again' eurythmics
  
• 'homeward bound' simon and garfunkel
• 'honesty' billy joel
  
• 'how soon is now?' smiths
• 'hurt' nine inch nails
• 'thieves like us' new order (yes, it doesn't begin with h but no soundtrack set in Manchester is complete without it - you can actually smell petrol fumes and rain if you listen close enough :)

wishing
'happiness is a warm gun' was on Beatles rock band - it's not and that's a travesty. if i was ever to make a movie (a very serious, un-tongue in cheek movie) about a serial mom, who eliminates people who wrong her children, the titles would roll to that song because it's so completely stellar :)

looking for
mary janes... just for a change because clearly i don't have enough pairs already :|

loving this
man who makes teeny pencil sculptures just for the love of it

also loving this
version of life on mars by David Bowie. and this version. and this version too. but if this was a market research test, i'd say i like the second one the best :)

wanting to
go to South Coast Plaza tomorrow - i want to buy a big bottle of Chanel no 19 with my triscuit compensation :)

we spent the day getting lost in Anaheim - which is the only way i can ever find this park named after the man who invented the boysenberry (which for some reason, is full of planes and rockets :)


posing like pin-ups in Ruby's :)

large and small annoyances

• being told by a total stranger at the triscuit tasting experience, that i drink too much diet coke because i was drinking a can each time i walked in... i had to bite my tongue to say only gnomely sad little losers ride the bus, but i didn't :|

• amazon upping the price of this delightful ferret beret after dealnews advertised it on sale - soooo not cool, amazonians!

• names that end with 'iah'

• running out of ginger cat cookies and having to go shopping for more with the boy who is the human equivilent of a kite in a tornado :|

• rsvping 'yes that sounds so fun!' to a party that i meant to rsvp 'please! noooooooooooooooooo!!!!' to... maybe i am getting sick, i wouldn't want to get everyone sick...

• the smell of bacon - how i despise it especially having to touch it. and then having to cook more because the children loved it so much :|

• people who say my name more than once without waiting a reasonable amount of time (ie forever) for me to answer

• defrosting meat, then dining out every night and never getting around to using it

• 9:00 swim classes - tomorrow is the last class but we never complete anything so today is OUR last day :)

• the only 'wipeout' for ds game being at a store in camp pendleton... i am assuming i can't drive onto a military base to buy a ds game....? nope

did i mention 9:00 swim class...? bleck.... back later xox

buckets, spades and birthday cards

today we went to the beach at long last. the boys loved it and we even remembered to take buckets and spades (though no sunblock. or drinks. or food either...) and it was far from awful! we found an awesome parking space spitting distance from the sand and it wasn't even street sweeping day even though i forgot to check why such a VHTF space was available :) and we saw dolphins and seals swimming by waving at us (i swear they were waving :) and the boys even made some friends and they all played baseball together. it was just perfect... for about 8 minutes... then the clock struck twelve and we had to leave.... so i could go and eat more freaking triscuits at the market research company :|

however i served my time and got my bundle of cash - and treated my boys to Ruby's for dinner. how i looooove the Ruby Club with the bacon on the side. it is, to quote that really sweaty judge on masterchef : "sex on a plate". ahem, i hate that expression.... it's so gross!! but i must endure the show because of Gordon Ramsay and the way he says 'my darling' :)

i checked my blog stats today and the government is/are watching me :| Aaron says it is because i signed Obama's birthday card and they can't be too careful, but surely the department of homeland security have bigger fish to fry than me...? i hope they don't think i am serious about running down Ringo Starr.... i despise the man but i wouldn't go to jail for him or nothing. and i would NEVER EVER harm the President - i think he's absolutely lovely and if he was dead, Joe Biden would be on TV more and he just isn't as smily and adorable.

sheesh, with that i will climb the wooden hill... back tomorrow xoxo

4:44am

and already up for an entire hour doing laundry - a woman's work is never done :)

i could not sleep. i could smell a weird burning smell and was worried the house was burning down. it smelled like (T.M.I. alert) someone in the neighborhood was smoking dog poop :| i don't know why someone would do that and choose to let their dog poop cigar smolder outside my bedroom window but i could not get back to sleep. i suddenly had to know whether Gordon Ramsay smokes (he used to), where Finland is (not where i thought... to the right of Sweden), whether i can find some mary jane crocs that can be here within the next 72 hours (mine are so old and worn down that even standing on a tiny rock is agony) and what the 500 greatest songs of all time are according to Rolling Stone :|

the above list irked me so much i couldn't possibly turn off my phone and go back to sleep. i had to get up, do laundry, drink coffee and once all my chores were done, recheck that list using 'control f' to make sure that i hadn't missed 'life on mars?' by David Bowie. and sure enough, it's not on the list :| 'heroes' is, as it should be... but 'changes' and 'ziggy stardust' ...? so wrong!! and the ONLY r.e.m. song is 'losing my religion' which i have never ever ever played from start to finish because it's nothing but a big fat lame radio song :|

and the biggest travesty: upon checking each and every Beatles song to make sure there is the correct ratio of Lennon/McCartney/Harrison songs on the list i saw THIS effigy: "with a little help from my friends"- i hate that song! that song should be called 'with a whole lot of help from my friends and a TON of blind luck too'. i have my reasons (most of them absolutely nonsensical, like i really dislike big noses and big heads, plus the doctor who horribly misdiagnosed Danny's RSV in 1/24/05 was named Dr Starr, so clearly ALL people named Starr are complete bonesmokers, douchebags and asshats and should be run over repeatedly if they are ever in the wrong place at the right time) but, it's incidental - i despise that man and you mark my words, he'll be the last Beatle standing :|

back later xox

today i.............................

• slept in till 7:30ish with coffee, ginger cat cookies and a gripping episode of 'property ladder' :)

• against my better judgment, let the boys play video games just so i could have one extra cup of coffee before swim classes

• felt kind of sorry for the swim teachers... the boys today were WILD :|

• signed Barack's birthday card (i have to check the spelling of his name every.single.time i write it :)

• made Super Mario shrinky dinks

• read some national enquirer interview with the alleged "mistress" of JFK Jnr - dirty bitch ;)
  

• had 15 triscuits for lunch again - all equally dense, salty and crunchy. i am sure my survey answers are about as much use as a chocolate teapot to the market research company :|

• (which reminds me...) went to Michaels and spent hours poring over the fabric paint looking for the right color of brown with which to make a black dog-esque teeshirt for a small boy who has a chocolate lab (the paint is aptly called chocolate :)

• realized both boys were on playdates and i had three entire hours to myself and nothing to do :|

• felt guilty and went to the place where Danny was playing - Bounce U or U Bounce or something which was soooo much fun, i highly recommend it - nonstop jumping and climbing and sliding and bouncing in a totally enclosed, safe, unscuzzy place. if gyms were like that, i'd totally go to the gym everyday ;) i want to go back tomorrow with play clothes on - they even have a pizza night (how many gyms have that??!)

• made sand castles out of marbles in the den (not my idea....)

• had a slice of burnt toast for dinner with boysenberry jelly on it
  

• watched a little jiu jitsu
  

• sat on the porch with Danny for an entire golden hour
  

• made more shrinky dinks

• yawned excessively
  

• went to bed early :)
  

xoxoxo

wings, double sinks and triscuits

listening to
wings - i am quite sure i'm their only fan on God's green earth, but i had a mad crush on Paul and Linda McCartney (ok i really loved Linda and kind of liked Paul by default) sadly for Paul McCartney, he is just tofu - he's only as awesome as who he's standing next to, and since the one legged model incident, he's been the epitome of unawesome :|

smelling like
mop and glo (it's a really loooooong story)

going to
the beach tomorrow to build sandcastles, no questions asked even if it rains and there's a terrible thunderstorm

watching
leap year tonight... rotten tomatoes makes it sound like i should keep my iphone and sock monkey projects handy :|

eating
more triscuits tomorrow on day two of the three day marathon triscuit taste test - honestly they all taste the same to me... i had to fake my answers and say triscuit number 3 was the saltiest, densest, crunchiest and most appealing. truth be told i'd never ever buy triscuits... why would anyone waste calories on crackers that taste like shredded wheat when they could be eating cake? it's beyond me. but i have to say nice things about the crackers, because they give you cash to :)

wondering
why people think double sinks in bathrooms are so important.... the people on house hunters always won't buy a house if it doesn't have double sinks, but we have never ever shared the master bathroom - i would never so much as brush my teeth in front of my husband :| not even if the world was ending!

back tomorrow xoxxo

new adventures, chocolate bars and juno

recovering
from inhaling far too much bleach today (it's a long story...)

re-experiencing
new adventures in hi-fi by r.e.m.

adoring
my hubbie - he's my easter bunny and my christmas tree :)

loving
quiet time - today we shared an oversized bar of dairy milk and watched juno in bed :)

wishing
i could remember all juno's adorable little phrases - the only one i can remember is weenus which is completely adorable and maybe far too adorable to be used on a real weenus :)

attempting
the impossible... putting songs on the the iphone :| we listened to the juno soundtrack in Cape Cod last year and just hearing those songs again reminded me of new adventures (there's a new adventure just around the corner:)


celebrating
Jerry the rat's first birthday with snickerdoodles (Jerry is a compulsive hoarder, Teddy is a compulsive eater:)


before bedtime tonight:

piggly wiggly, cornflakes and monkeys

i much prefer
the big mac to the double double (but it's a tie between these fries and these fries :)

i love
everything about Elvis Presley and really really want to go to Tennessee to visit Graceland and shop at Piggly Wiggly too. it's only a 28 hour drive - i bet i could do it in 24. and it's summer, so once swim classes are over i should just take the boys ;)

i want
to find a beach named 'black dog beach' and live walking distance from it (it should be in Cape Cod or the central coast of California:)

i suddenly feel really hungry
when i listen to 'cornflake girl' by Tori Amos

however i really want
double berry cheesecake ice cream in a pastel polkadot bowl with a glass of ice cold milk instead of cornflakes :)

i so wish
it was next friday already...

at the zoo yesterday - no monkeys attacked us which is always my greatest fear at this zoo as it has 50 monkeys at all times. yesterday i watched a terrifying episode of 'i survived' in which people had their limbs torn off by escaped chimps - monkeys really scare me since that Oprah where the woman's face was eaten by a chimp too.... anyway we had a nice and safe day out :)





Danny's family of sock monkeys

Sam got a fancy new belt thing at jiu jitsu :)

o. m. g.

i have almost been killed THREE TIMES today already - and it's only 10:48am :|

first i was trying to make a piece of toast, as always doing twelve other things at once, of course. i was sweeping, packing up my sock monkey sewing supplies and getting ready for swim class, when the toast started to smolder and BURN and suffocate me with accrid black smoke (i am soooo NOT exaggerating) dodging death, i carried the toast outside and hosed it down - disaster averted.... for a little while longer :0

secondly i was waiting at a painfully slow left turn when my light turned to green and i started to go. suddenly out of nowhere - SWOOOOOOOSH! a car literally going 10000 mph (driven by a completely clueless old man, of course) sped through the light, almost killing everyone in his path :|

i went home determined to do something much much safer and commenced to texting my friend with my fancy white phone. ping! one second later, 'she' sent me a note back. horray! we kept on a nice conversation and 'she' said she was around and we could get together for dinner. suddenly the 'friend' turned all axe-murderer-like and wasn't at all agreeable about the hat - gasp, only weirdos don't like the hat and certainly no friend of mine would turn up their nose at pastrami sandwiches and chili cheese fries... i became instantly suspicious and realized - dun dun dun - i was setting up a date with a potential axe murderer :|

i am now scared to take a shower incase i slip and crack my head open. or eat fish fingers for dinner in case i choke to death on an invisible fish bone. i really need to go to walmart but i am scared i will be killed by a lunatic customer. i wonder is it safe to go to the zoo....? i am about to find out :| more later.....

little questions

if i could travel through time i would:
revisit my boys as babies again

my hidden talent is:
tight rope walking at breakneck speed :)

superpower i'd like to have:
finding every homeless pet a nice home

if i was the Queen i would get the guards to bring me:
homemade coffee fudge

storybook character i'd bring to life:
dragon (and i'd be his friend:)

if i was invisible for the day i would:
follow the president around and see if he curses :)

favorite sandwich:
jam

animal that gives me the jitters:
birds, butterflies and fish

worst food:
mustard

favorite thing to do on a rainy day:
have a nice cup of coffee with biscuits to dip

worst subject in school:
chemistry

favorite word:
knockers

i'm a bit of an expert on...
the Beatles :)

mushrooms, fish nuggets and broken pizzelle dreams

spent

hours in blockbuster hopping from restless leg to restless leg, while two small boys tried to decide whether or not to buy mario mushrooms... and who would get the coveted green one... of which there was only one, of course... so whatever happened, someone would end up whining. we went to mcdonalds instead where the next tragedy was that they already had the happy meal toy on offer :|

made

trader joes "fish nuggets" for dinner - they were alarmingly un-chicken-like (no boot shaped one) and for some reason, sopping with grease :| and they weren't anything like as good as good old burnt fishfingers :( i highly do NOT recommend them ;)

not loving

the pizzelle maker. my pizzelles all cracked and left me with feelings of uselessness and incompetence - thanks Mr UPS :(

rotated

the car's tires today - it was absolutely free and they even fixed one that was damaged - tustin ranch costco just earned back one happy point :)

wondering

if our dogs are EVER going to figure out that the doggie door means they can come and go as they please. they stand at it waiting to be dismissed and then stand outside waiting to be invited back inside :| except when the disneyland fireworks go off, which is the highlight of their quiet evenings :)

going to
play wii Beatles - it's been forever and i want to see if they added any new songs :)

that's IT!!!

i want Mr UPS's head on a stick in my front yard as a WARNING for all future delivery drivers that they should jolly well check they don't have something in their truck for me, for example, an anxiously awaited villaware pizzelle maker ordered and paid for one full week ago : [

yes he did it again - he drove right by my house, holding my precious pizzelle maker hostage (it's been in his truck since 6:00am this morning when it was supposedly 'out for delivery'... i bet he and all his friends have been using it - nothing would surprise me anymore) he always claims our house cannot be found - even though i bought the hugest numbers for the front of the house and surely he has a GPS?

seriously now i KNOW he is spying on me too - he just came back with my pizzelle maker : he roared past my house not 10 minutes ago - i knew it was him because the sound of a diesel truck driving up our street makes my dogs go bananas with rabid excitement and i could hear 'what's new pussycat' blaring from the open doors :)

i shall go and make my pizzelles... it's VERY exciting!!!! fingers crossed they aren't a huge disappointment like everything else in life :) xoxo

today i........

had breakfast in bed (coffee and ginger cats:)

didn't so much hate my hair when i got up

wore dkny cashmere mist

watered the veggie garden

stuck 15 bandaids all over Danny's friend's adhd patch thingie and begged it to pleeeease stay on during swimming class

accidentally sat next to double-thumbs-up/air-quotes/gate-kid mom at swim class who was wearing an eeyore big shirt so clearly we have absolutely NOTHING in common to small talk over (i pored over my yelp wood fired pizza reviews like i was working on a very busy and important case:)

wondered what revelations are, and why studying them this week in bible class was making the cashier in Trader Joe's SO hyper and jazzed (and wondered again how i small talk about such a thing...)

booked a hotel that i just KNOW i will not be able to remember the name of... must print out the directions

took pictures of a totally cute bald baby boy

washed my hands with dial which reminded me of Cape Cod for some mysterious reason :|

had a slice of milk bread for lunch

went to the doctor's office and bowled on my phone while i was waiting :)

made pizza in the oven then grilled it to burn the underside

baked snickerdoodles

ate far too many of them

found out from the highest authority in the land - Dr Phil - that having a kid who only eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches does not make me a hopeless unfit mother and forcing the issue will just lead to eating disorders (huge sigh of relief)

recycled

dropped Teddy the rat (bad Teddy for not holding on)

went to bed at 9:46pm :)

lullabies and sundays

• tonight i tried to sing lullabies to Danny and he plugged his ears and screeched that five year olds are too old for wuwwabies :(

• i dearly love paul mccartney's voice on the white album and all my (retired) lullabies are paul songs
  

• even though the white album might be my least played beatles album... i am starting to really love it minus all the songs with 9s in the title:)

• i particularly love 'happiness is a warm gun' :)

• paul has the most tragically cute puppy dog eyes in the hey jude video :)

• i will never love any song Ringo sings on :|
  

• i love that the Mirage plays Beatles songs all day long :)

• i think target should play music - walmart do :)

• i think walmart should get rid of the loud speaker announcements though - that's totally annoying

• i wonder why La Jolla doesn't have any kind of Dr Seuss playground or library :(

• my favorite Dr Seuss book is 'sneetches' (i live in orange county, entirely surrounded by sneetches) and my least favorite is 'oh the places you'll go' (i really really dislike planned positivity and inspirational quotes)

• we had fish and chips for lunch at the harbor :)

• they were yummy :)

these sea lions were all over the beach in La Jolla... they were incredibly cute and now i am hellbent on inventing a 'sea cat'... a miniature domesticated sea lion/house cat that lives in a tank but can be cuddled too :)

he was pretending to be Horton the elephant under the whimsical poufy Dr Seuss trees :)

sock monkeys siestas and seuss

really
not feeling any emotional attachment to the sock monkey i am making - his face is too big and his torso is too short :( note to self: ankle socks make scary looking monkeys....

absolutely
loving spending sunny siestas floating in our little pool, with the breeze whistling through the bamboo :)

completely
stuffed after having had one too many california rolls for dinner (Sam loved them - who knew :)

impatiently
awaiting my shiny new pizzelle maker :) Sam is waiting for his birthday gift, some fancy game thing or other which i am soooooo tired of hearing about :|

frantically
searching for a doggie door so we can escape from OC for more than 4 hours at a time - the dogs are very good about holding their business and all, but the doggie door is going to be our ticket to ride (at least i hope:)

utterly
befuddled about the practically new target by me that closed for FIVE WHOLE DAYS for an extreme makeover ("the first of it's kind in the country" allegedly), that looked exactly the same at it's grand reopening today :|
ps the only notable difference was a huge pile of trash around the back, full of brand new baby gear... why not just donate it all :(

hopefully
going to La Jolla tomorrow. Dr Seuss used to live there you know. and Gregory Peck was born there :) that's all i know about it, except Sam calls it la joll-a which i love (and hated to correct :)

at swim class

this has been how we have all spent the past few days :)

i am NOT biased but i think he is the sweetest dog ever :)

yesterday Friday turned 11 so we let her and Bumps play outside and even eat plants (they thanked us later by having diarrhea on our bed and barfing all over the answering machine;)

my latest invention, the fort-er-slide (idea blatantly stolen from our british 'neighbour' hence the british sharp 't' in it's name :)

he loves it :)

our TWO DOLLAR slip and slide :)


datenight


scenes from OUR italian restaurant - at last, i think we found one to call our own. i love it there, it's cozy and comfortable and i want to wear Coco Chanel on our datenights there.... and the food ... yum!!