tuesday little things

feeling
completely overtired, over-questioned, over-achey and under-enthusiastic

drinking
coffee that i attempted to make strong. so it kind of sucks, it tastes like tar :(

contemplating
costco. not annoyingly white tustin ranch costco. nooo, i must go to the international house of costco, which is frequented by the 75% immigrant population of irvine (apparently in 75% of the world there is no such thing as queueing or leaving an arm length of personal space or only taking ONE sample at the displays

thinking
do i reaaaally need uncrustables...? and milk.....? and kitchen roll....? and hamburger meat....?

planning
on taking the boys for ruby shakes today to reward ourselves for doing the above

off to swim class, back later xo

pics from yesterday......

i love.........

• when L.A. traffic really moves (very rare - it has to be after 9pm:) and 12 lanes of streaming 80 mph traffic flows along like a river of lights
• homemade extra-lemon extra-onion guacamole
• hearing 'can you feel it' for the first time in at least 20 years and loving the fact that my itunes keeps on repeating it :)
• the boys playing in the pool on a warm starry night
• their eyelashes afterwards
• mcdonalds
• really clean teeth
• flowers from Trader Joe's... that store makes me so happy

sunday

how on earth am i watching MT(freaking)V again??? how do i end up here everytime my TV turns on? i don't even know what number MTV is. the real world is on - i haven't watched the real world since they were in San Fran in like 1985. anyway, on THIS real world one girl has a PIERCED FINGER. a pierced finger???? how the hell do you do that??? how do you pierce a finger with a bone in the middle of it? i am very confused... and putting Split Ends back on (and hoping and praying it's not a repeat...)

i am still walking around in a saddened daze.... Billy Mays is dead? MY Billy Mays... as in the grater plater and kaboom Billy Mays...? it's just so not fair. i loved Pitchmen dearly and saved it each week to enjoy like a decadent slice of apple pie on un-diet day :( now i bet i will never get that grater plater for a decent price, i bet it will even be sold at a premium and VHTF (very hard to find in lame internet talk). i had so many inventions i wanted to take to him.... even if Billy Jr takes over (who i love dearly) it just won't be the same. RIP dear Billy... i will miss my children excitedly freeze-framing your infomercials and urging me to "come quick Mom!! you must see this - but he says you MUST call now and he will DOUBLE the offer!" perfectly replicating your tone and enthusiam. i hate to think very dark thoughts.... but why couldn't it have been Sully instead :( these are very dark days indeed.

yesterday's fancy tea was a success though it was VERY hard to keep walking around in sweltering 135 degree Pasadena after eating 7 plates of sandwiches and cream cakes. but we did it with grace and flair - see pictures ;)

must get back to the grindstone. i am working on ridiculously pointless hamburger cupcakes and i am about to lose my mind. people who like to cook pretty things must be total sadists. today has been a catalog of disasters - from burnt sugar cookie french fries to ketchup frosting that wouldn't turn blood red to little fast food basket templates that the printer chewed up everytime... today has NOT been a good day :|

RIP Billy Mays... i will miss your big booming voice so much :(


a cute little man made entirely of yumminess :)

being total supermodels (and trying not to smile... i couldn't do it, thanks to the crowd of onlookers gazing at our loveliness:)

sunshine moonlight good times boogie

listening to
32 maddening doggie toenails clicking across hardwood and the same dogs shaking their heads over and over to make their doggie charms rattle. it's so loud and sooo early!!!!!!!!

loving
it being saturday, my favorite day, and having nothing but good stuff on the horizon.........

hating
being up at 4:59am :|

deeply regretting
jumping out of bed at 4:45am to 'quickly look' if i could find this dirty movie on youtube because i found it and i watched it all and now i am all exhausted but wide awake :(

waiting
for it to be light enough to walk the fricking dogs

dreading
walking the dogs... it's HOT here, even at 6am

anticipating
tea here today :)
"A pot of brewed tea and a basket of freshly baked scones are served at each table. From a central buffet, guests may choose from an array of savory finger sandwiches, imported and domestic cheeses, fresh fruits, chilled seasonal salads, and specialty petite desserts. Best of all, you can return to the buffet as often as you like. Limitless refills of tea and scones are served upon request. There is no dress code in the Tea Room." yippee skippy!!!!!!

thank god for the iPhone!

yes i said it. and i even capitalized it like a dorkazoid. i don't really mean it of course, but i need a segway :) anyway on our ride to dinner we got into a heated debate about Michael Jackson's song "Ben". Aaron claimed it was written for a movie rat, but I was 97% sure it was written about MJ's pet rat. but how could we prove it on the 605 freeway? someone clearly was RIGHT here and that meant there was a loser too :| so i whipped out the fancy iPhone and typed in three words: Michael Jackson Rat. a few seconds later and there was the answer - we were BOTH RIGHT, it was written about a movie rat but inspired by a pet rat!!! horray! don't you love when that happens?! iPhone you redeemed yourself. this once.....

of course every compliment for iThings has to be counterbalanced by a complaint. i don't know why but my iTunes plays the same song over and over. and over and over. it's quite fun the first couple of times it repeats... but after the 67th play of Grace Kelly i am reduced to tears and i promise myself it won't happen again (but it always does and i have checked and unchecked every box...)

Sam and Danny keep chattering about "Andrew" Jackson and his zombie video. too cute, getting their presidents and deceased stars confused :)

today i learned why they call it a hot glue gun, that glue is SO HOT it can actually melt one's fingertips clean off :( clearly i am not the adult they are referring to when they say on the back of the craft instructions that adult help is required :|

before swim class

one year ago: Venice, California

friday

oh my. i just have to make these today. i am sad that it is too late for happy falker satherhood day... but how CUTE are those sugar cookie french (not freedom) fries??? very cute indeed :)

people are still dissing MJ as a creepy pedophile, wondering how anyone can be sad about him - urgh! those people are soooo totally Xed off my fancy facebox thingie:) i hate haters - gasp, does that make ME a hater too?! or do two negatives make a positive? they do, right...?

tomorrow is the fancy tea!!! i cannot wait, though the fancy tea means i must walk 17 miles today to cancel it out. but it's so totally worth it!!

things to do today:

• give Sam hair cut or buzz cut :) as per the note on my desk
• immediately have a little hand tugging on me to do the exact same haircut for Danny, who will cry his eyes out the entire time but LOVE looking like his big brother the second it is over
• break up the wild cat fight happening on the back of my chair as i type :| GIT OFF ME!!!!
  
• walk to Sprouts - i love Sprouts... not sprouts, i do NOT love sprouts
• buy toaster strudels for my children. they think they are magical! they do NOT sell toaster strudel at Sprouts, organic party poopers
  
• delete haters from facebook
  
• make french fries out of sugar cookies
• umm... other really important stuff ;)
  

back later, off to do my first 4.9 mile walk :|

the ups and the downs

the ups

• woke up covered with Danny's favorite "bwoo bwankie", as last night i felt sick and he insisted i keep it for bedtime :)
• Sam was really really good and helpful all day :)
• Aaron got a very cute buzzcut :)
• found a box of hair glaze and now my hair is all shiny and fragrant :)
• loved seeing the love between Elliot and Danny today when Danny got hurt at the playground :)
• went to Fuddruckers and Danny ate ALL HIS LUNCH :) :) :)
• it was a kids eat free lunch :)
• it's George Michael's birthday :)
  
• took the boys to walmart and had enough money on a giftcard to pay for everything :)
• found the perfect nail polish white polka-dotter pen there (Sally Hanson french manicure pen)
• ate very little and walked a lot :)
• Aaron found a little dog named Travis running in traffic, and called the dog catcher who thanks to the wonders of microchips, was able to take it straight home :)
  
• absolutely no mail whatsoever :)
  

the downs

• grocery shopped at albertsons for the first time in a very looong time. their 20% off prices are still 20% more than superwalmart :(
• got a reese's pack of 3 peanut butter cups and it only had 2 inside :(
• checked two redboxes - neither had Dinosquad for Danny :(
• MJ - rest in peace :(
  
• lame negative mean comments about him on facebook :(
  
• not as many downs (but that would be an up technically :)

RIP MJ playlist:
blame it on the boogie
can you feel it
say say say
the way you make me feel
billie jean
one day in your life
ben

so i don't forget tomorrow :|

i love his eyes when he has been crying (does this make me a bad mom?)

in Tustin Ranch, moms take their job very seriously :)

dotty digits

eating
green&black's butterscotch 'organic' chocolate. organic means good for you, right...?

photoshopping
pictures of pugs in pettiskirts. just for a change...

listening to
dogs whistling through their noses with rabid excitement because the kids are playing out front and they think they might be going for a w.a.l.k.

hating
pretentiousness

smiling
about the for sale sign outside the house of the most vanilla people on our street. woohooo!!! come on George Clooney, you know you want to live on my street ;)

planning
a day trip on saturday for fancy "ladies only" to a fancy plant show and fancy afternoon tea. no men allowed - except for Obama, he would be most welcome to come too to find out what us typical American women think of him :)

smelling
johnson and johnson baby shampoo. yes, my 8 year old and 4 year old still shampoo with johnson and johnson and yes they use an entire bottle a day. but i don't care, i love the smell!

pics from the day:
she decided to leave home :|

wednesday - the early edition

oh my god. yes i said god... and i didn't even capitalize it because i am that BAD! i have 4 susie cupcakes sitting in my fridge just begging to be gobbled up by me, the big bad wolf. but i didn't buy them for me you see.... and it would be so terrible to have to go and face Susie again this morning with the exact same order with frosting all around my mouth and that crazed sugared up look in my eyes... i couldn't do it. you see i pretend to be all real housewife of OC when i go in there and would NEVER EVER eat a whole cupcake, are you kidding me? eat an entire cupcake? i would be barfing for weeks after that! would it be so terrible to take a palette knife dipped in warm water and carefully swirl the frosting a little thus getting some on my palette knife and licking it? yes i lick knives, i live on the edge.

my coffee is extra strong, extra sweet and extra dark today... which is good and bad, i am going to need at least 4 cups each requiring a delicious toaster strudel alongside it :|

i am writing a book! the kind of book that will be impossible to put down! that will be made into a movie!! and people will beg for a sequel but i won't have any more mean people left to write about because they're all in the first one! it's going to be so completely awesome!!! and there's going to be a copy under everyone's chairs and everything!! but i refuse to dance with Ellen... i love her and all but the thought of it makes me break out in pusules... i am already stressing about it :|

off to swim class! it's another beautiful sunny day in paradise!! (how i miss rain)

p.s. have i mentioned how much i HATE children singing???? it's like syrup of ipecac to my system. now imagine a never-ending infomercial of children singing..... who buys those CDs???

today's things

swim class. then tustin ranch costco. mcdonalds. an hour on the freeway. sanity break with dr phil and burnt la brea bread. a visit to newport beach susie's cupcakes and 30 more minutes on the freeway watching two total bonesmokers argue in the middle traffic lanes about a fender bender. then back home again.

now all i can think about is fried eggs and baked beans artfully decorated with ketchup. i seriously need an intervention. we are down to our last 2 eggs and last can of beans too and i am starting to panic about where my next fix is coming from.....

ok i know it's sad and all.... but i cannot even start to imagine how much jon&kate is going to suck now. they might as well just cancel it - if she isn't going to be sitting next to him on their little 'loveseat' castrating the hell out of him and hitting him (playfully but not really), then i simply cannot enjoy it. that's the only good part - nothing else is even remotely soupworthy. i must admit... watching maddie does make me greatly appreciate my own children... but i just can't watch tea parties and random crap like that all the time... it's even duller than the first paragraph :|

but for what it's worth, what a total douchebag he is. usually she is the bigger douchebag by a mile. but last night he definitely overshadowed her.... especially regarding the location of the playhouses. honestly, how crushingly dull was that whole episode?!

oh well this is today's very british playlist:
up the junction - squeeze
happy hour - housemartins
late bar - duran duran
queen bitch - david bowie
woohoo- blur
friday i'm in love - the cure
love action - human league
wow - kate bush
panic - smiths
roll with it - oasis

monday random things

i have a big huge spot between my eyes that hurts when i make a mad face. must operate tonight.... i can't be scowlfree for another day...

i am trying to convince myself that frosted mini wheats are candy when only fruity mentos will do.....

yet another reason why i should no longer use facebook: having 54 messages of absolutely no consequence whatsoever detailing every single response someone posted after mine on a status update... argh. death by pointlessness.

i have soooo enjoyed reading Sheye's blog today.... i love hearing about someone having FUN here! maybe it isn't so bad living on the edge of the world afterall ;) but people here are nice? really? really really? i do agree about stop signs though... it still makes me almost pee my pants with fear because it's just plain SCARY to pull in front of three waiting cars like that :)


i am N-O-T obsessed with pugs.... but......

sunday sundries

listening to
the becoming - nine inch nails. for the first time in about 15 years :)

reading
course notes on how to write good fiction

feeling
like going to bed before 9pm

eating
2 red gummivites and 1 yellow gummivite. no more no less :)

photoshopping
pictures from dog beach, yawn.

contemplating
what on earth jon and kate could be announcing tomorrow, i will be on the edge of my seat :)

thinking
about making tea or coffee but can't decide which so i am just sitting thinking

smelling
jo malone amber and lavender. i am not sure i love it. i like it but i don't love it like nutmeg and ginger........

he wrote a book about Daddy at school

canine uncle Humphrey

dog beach this morning

the 200 layer fathers day card

at the zoo