random saturday thoughts

firstly i must say for the ten thousandth time how much i do not love george w bush (i'm avoiding hate again) the time on my gps has been wrong for the past week and this is all bush's fault for pointlessly changing when the clocks fall back/spring forward without considering that the entire world is still programmed to do it a week earlier. the only stick of work he did for 8 entire years and it's basically a badly screwed together bookshelf :|

speaking of my nemesis (the gps this time, not bush) she told me to go to Vegas via San Diego :| i am no geographical genius but even i know San Diego is south and Vegas is east of here :| so i headed towards Florida instead of Mexico and shaved h-o-u-r-s off her ETA of the next day at noon :|

it's official - finding a specific song when in shuffle mode is more impossible than winning the lottery :|

is it just my eyes failing me or does everyone see rats crossing the road when they're driving? i swear i'm going insane... they're always running across in front of me and then they stop under my car as i pass over them so i don't actually kill them - it's very unnerving :|

why is it that every person attempting to overtake a car traveling at 50mph, by driving in the fast lane right next to it at 51mph always has a calvin praying sticker...? always! always...

this weekend Sam and i went to see bodies. as in dead bodies - room after room full of corpses, skinned, preserved, dissected and posed playing sports for the public's fascination. we thought this was all kind of cool and certainly fascinating, till we noticed every single face was that of a healthy looking asian man who supposedly had died of 'natural causes'. after researching online, it appears these men were likely prisoners executed and sold for $300 each :( the bodies were supposedly unclaimed and used for medical research, but this show was really more of a traveling freak show and for most people, nothing more than an hour's entertainment between rounds of beer pong and all-you-can-eat crab legs, hardly medical research at all... sigh. Sam left saying he felt so sad for those men and would never want to see someone he knew exploited like that... ditto Sam, gosh i love that boy and the way his head/heart work :)

back tomorrow with pics from the trip - too trick-or-treated out to do it tonight xoxo

thursday loves

i love showbiz gossip. especially ridiculous showbiz gossip :) for example.... did you know Barry Manilow is allegedly married with three children under 6 and that's why he's quitting Vegas ;)

i love it being the night before a road trip :)

i love Michael Jackson and finding some 'new' MJ songs for the above mentioned road trip. i haven't seen "this is it" yet but i cannot wait! i'm saving it as a cure for the after-vegas blues :)

i love mcdonald's french fries

i love little girl energy in our very boyish home

i love halloween class portraits

i love carving pumpkins (but not the before scooping-out part or the after cleaning-up part - just the carving part :) mine's the black dog which - duh- isn't black when it's lit up :

thursday is the new friday

at least this week, no school tomorrow!! to quote sheeple everywhere: 'woot woot!' ;)

tomorrow Sam and i are embarking on our first ever solo roadtrip! we are going to las vegas to see dead bodies at the bodies exhibit at luxor and maybe... just maybe.... take in the new csi experience at mgm if time between buffet visits permits :) and stop for a couple of jelly donuts at dunkin donuts before the drive home of course ;) and maybe grab some more halloween candy as we whisk by apple valley (which isn't as romantic as it sounds) winco. quite a lot of the halloween candy went mysteriously missing last night............... blow pops should be a controlled substance, they are SO addictive!

it's my dream that planet hollywood will jump onboard the all day buffet trend. but i have a feeling it wouldn't be cheap like excalibur. but i'd still do it, because who can resist all you can eat cotton candy??! but i have an aversion to staying on that side of the strip, i don't like to do it and there's no good reason why not, but i must stay on Bellagio side of the strip. but.... for cotton candy - the all you can eat variety - i'd step out of my comfort zone for a day or two :)

off for a whistlestop halloween parade tour of OC.... back later xo

wednesday things

became completely addicted
to trader joe's ginger cat cookies

listened to
Let's Dance by David Bowie... i think it's safe to say i'm going through a David Bowie phase :)

watched
flipping out. if Jeff Lewis isn't on any meds i'm a dutchman (which i'm not, by the way) :|

wondered
how celebs never have spit-up/dog hair/spilled ketchup on their clothes - what are they, superhuman or something??? i wonder if there is some celeb scotchgard that you can only get if you're famous....

fell in love with
the bugaboo stroller. it's, like, totally cool!

patiently waited
for a free shipping coupon for oriental trading co :(
a) i don't pay for shipping. ever.
and b) who pays $16 for shipping....? ever?????!

also watched
the View for the second time this week. it's just a bunch of women talking, like having coffee with people you have nothing in common with and for the most part, can't stand - especially... Elisabeth. if i wrote law and order scripts, she'd be the victim of a heinous crime every single week :)

tuesday

drinking
hot sweet tea with milk and trader joe's ginger cat cookies (mm-mmm good!)

smelling like
cashmere mist by dkny

loving
hanging out with a smiley brand new baby all day (but not all night :)

making
black bean soup with chicken and roasted corn for tomorrow's lunchboxes

also loving
that trader joe's makes me feel capable of achieving the abovementioned culinary magic

wondering
if the salted caramel haagen dazs in the freezer, is going to live up to the hype...

also wondering
where condensed milk dessert syrup has been all my life - it's amazing!

planning on
being in bed by 9pm to watch desperate housewives with another hot cup of tea... and it's 9:06pm... back tomorrow :)

the songs that play in my head

ie my recently played playlist :) back with pics later xoxo

daybreak - barry manilow
acoustic can't smile without you - barry manilow (he's on ET tonight... must remember to 'tune in';)
hard day's night - beatles
lucy in the sky with diamonds - beatles
i've had the time of my life - dirty dancing (sob)
be my baby - dirty dancing
she's like the wind - dirty dancing (loud uncontrollable sobbing)
panic in detroit - david bowie
queen bitch - david bowie
it ain't easy - david bowie
i'm only happy when it rains - garbage
basketcase - green day
keep feeling fascination - human league
laid - james (in the version that plays in my head, she only SINGS when she's on top:)
stop - jane's addiction
crosstown traffic - jimi hendrix
big yellow taxi - joni mitchell
my sister - juliana hatfield (shhh, don't tell my sister:)
paparazzi - lady gaga
leave me alone - mj
can you feel it - mj
smooth criminal - mj
thriller - mj (played many many many many times... i have to work on the dance daily:)
i just can't stop loving you - mj (for obvious reasons:)
ben - mj
sexplosion - my life with the thrill kill kult
stardust - nat king cole
closer - nine inch nails
deal souls - nine inch nails
suburbia - pet shop boys
digging in the dirt - peter gabriel
cream - prince ( i have only recently been able to even play this song... the line "you will cop" makes me feel nauseous:)
try not to breathe - rem
sweetness follows - rem
nightswimming - rem
find the river - rem
pop song 89 - rem
fall on me - rem
talk about the passion - rem
bittersweet me - rem
binky the doormat - rem
beachball - rem
electrolite - rem
at my most beautiful - rem (which mysteriously plays at the most randomly beautiful moments in life)
pride - u2

i'm happy, hope you're happy too :)

feverishly downloaded
'ashes to ashes' by david bowie after realizing the huuuuge oversight that i don't yet have it as an mp3 - gulp :| i love how stuffy and english his voice sounds and had to hear it again this very second and couldn't even wait to walk next door and see if "the hubbie" has it

the next person
who asks me a dumb question is really really really not going to like the answer :|

dragging
ricky martin's 'la vida loca' onto my vegas roadtrip playlist. gawsh, i just love it and i'm not too embarrassed to say it out loud :)

when i click
'don't ask me next time' why does it still ask me next time? if i had a penny for every yes i clicked today, i'd have enough to buy another whole itune :)

the best day
to go to hometown buffet is monday, it's cajun chicken and dirty rice night :)

finding stripy socks
is even more fun than making creatures out of them :)

the black eyed peas
are the total of everything i hate about this decade

the only catalog
i don't shred for rattie bedding is paper source which i tuck behind my speaker for rainy days:)

taking care of four children
today made me feel extremely fortunate to be giving two back to their Mama at 3pm :)

i wonder
if Bono ever gets sick of wearing black jeans. i've never seen his real legs and now i am hellbent on finding a picture of him in shorts :)


romeo by Danny (i am sure my child is a genius photographer and i need a bumper sticker to tell the world...? my kid is a better photographer than your grandchild, that kind of thing? my 4 and 5/6ths year old takes better pictures than your basset hound.... hmm, still thinking ;)

watched
the dark shocking secrets of the beatles this morning... it was shocking to say the least. those inhalers for noses - they used to eat them :| and they have secret 'love children' and everything. and (lowers voice) they even had the clap :| but i bet George didn't - he was the nice one :)

ate
a breakfast burrito (the best one in orange county no less), chili cheese fries and a chocolate milkshake for lunch. now that's what i'm talking about :)

came across
two wild tortoises, some fluffy chicks, some sweet puppies, one domestic tortoise, baby guinea pigs and bunnies, one kitten and some hermit crabs on our morning out... it was all very random and totally fun :)

bathed
Jerry, our white, but occasionally off-white, rattie. he did much better, i think he is starting to like bath-time.

learnt
(a fraction of) the zombie dance from Thriller ;) sure i have to say 'step shoulder, step nothing, zombie arms, feet together, swim pull, booty bounce booty bounce' to get it right but i'll get there eventually :)

off to watch U2ube live from Pasadena! it starts just in 18 mins! i get to sit in my heavenly bed, sipping my entirely free diet coke in a glass with 3 chunks of ice, it didn't cost me $20 to park 3 miles away, i don't have to wait 30 mins to use an overflowing grotesque restroom and ahhhhh, i'm not surrounded by obnoxious drunks who whoop all the time..... it's a beautiful day (don't let it get away :)





he gets by with a little help from his friends :)

making black dog christmas shrinky dink ornaments (gawsh i love him:)

saturday things

it's official, afternoon tea in america truly sucks. i can say this with conviction as i am english and have a passport to prove it. today we tried for the SECOND time to have afternoon tea at the dumbass rose garden tea room in Pasa(insert expletive)dena. firstly i really don't like the Huntington Library, it's not in Huntington Beach and it's not even a library really. it's just full of really slow people, taking ultra dull pictures of stamens in glaring full sun. when you enter the library, they make you wear a sticker and i hate wearing stickers... i am NOT a crazed fan of the library and refuse to be labeled as one. but the security guards are all total nazis and insist you wear that damned sticker :| it's like a low security prison, but with flowers...

next the tearoom. they serve tea that smells like old ladies' perfume, namely jo malone 'red roses' which is very pretty as an air freshener but i just can't drink fragrant tea, it's like drinking air freshener and seems like poison. i like weak orange pekoe with a splash of milk. i had to request it as they only had the old lady smelling tea and pink lemonade... oh and the selection of cream cakes made me realize one thing: hometown buffet has spoiled me SO MUCH - it's so much better and it's not even that good! sigh... no more trying to recreate england in america. it just doesn't translate :(

we were just "booed"... the dogs heard a leaf crinkle in the driveway and went nuts and when Aaron sprinted to the door, he saw a dark colored sedan tearing down the street at 50 mph. he looked down to find a plate of cookies on the doormat :) firstly, we don't know anyone who owns a dark sedan and secondly, is it safe to eat cookies left by complete strangers if we don't recognize the car? i think we will feed one to the dogs and see if they are still alive in the morning :)

off to climb the wooden hill (we have no stairs... i just love to say it though) and watch some Criminal Minds with my snookie bear :)

our fancy tea with essential boring picture of flower :|


making/flying paper airplanes at 7am this morning :|

i gasped when i first saw 'him' standing there with my grater plater. Billy Mays i miss you :(

golden hour last night

i believe...

... crashing in rush hour, causing everyone behind you to be delayed indefinitely, (with a dead ipod i might add) should be a felony

... i need an iphone (white) on 9 november even though i know i will probably hate it 85% of the time...

... a freshly baked jelly donut from the county kitchen in walpole, ma could totally fix my sore neck this morning

... in making a wish at 11:11

... and praying for the repose of lost loved ones' souls at 4:44

... and buying things in even numbers

... but never leaving behind one lonesome can of soup

... in never leaving home without my camera and 50mm lens

... that a trip to the 99 cent store can help soothe any child ailment

... in always kissing my boys goodnight

... i have never seen Agent Hotchner and that makes me sad :(

... the jingle from the fisher price 'play laugh grow' commercial is the work of the devil

... that women that act like men and men that act like women are at the very core of what's wrong with the world (men who drink frothy coffee in particular)

... i h-a-v-e to see 'this is it' at the imax theater on wednesday :)

friday

ok seriously... i don't like corner bakery anymore - at all!! last night we went for dinner at 5:30pm. did they have bread bowls with which to make soup/chili bread bowls??? isn't serving a chili bread bowl inside a ceramic dish totally totally wrong and somewhat illegal....??? even if they give you free soda and free brownies and free whoopie pies (mmm!)??? corner bakery, it's sooo over between us and i don't care if you are related to Maggianos :| oh and another thing, my brownies are sooooo much fudgier than yours :) but your whoopie pie was gooooooooood!!

how come when i make the coffee it tastes like caca and when Aaron makes it, it tastes sooo sooo soooo soooooo much better and richer and hotter. he has even offered coffee making workshops but it's no use - he has the midas touch when it comes to making coffee

i love cash cab. not only because i can answer some of the questions but i get to see little snippets of NYC and that makes me happy :) but i wish they would show us foreigners trying to answer the questions... surely not everyone who gets into the cash cab is American??? it's a tourist town, it makes no sense that everyone knows everything about American pop culture and history... hmm, i think it's a little bit rigged. and a little bit racist :)

i want to work for the FBI so badly! i don't know that i could carry a gun without it constantly going off by accident everytime i sit down or bend over or put it on the table, but i see that Garcia off Criminal Minds just sitting in that big office, tapping at keys all day and finding out stuff about people, and i think hell, i can do that! i can find deals on hotels and which store has lasagne on sale in a snap - it's the same thing really... right? i want the cool badge (i assume she has one, right?) and cool email address that makes people sit up and pay attention. that's my random want for the day :)

off to school and on to make trees!! back later, yippee skippee!!

going
shopping for baby things tonight. i love babies r us :)

having
dinner at the corner bakery... the chili bread bowl filled to capacity with ketchup... for a change :)

planning
on making playroom trees out of rolls of wood grain contact paper tomorrow :)

looking forward to
las vegas in one week

wishing
i could be happy in the moment more

longing
for some cooler weather

stopping by
big lots to look for miniature playdoh cutters, i've looked high and low :|

pics from today... loving the wall sized chalkboards Aaron bought yesterday at the builder's yard :)

i looooove his big tall E :)

soup

why... when someone says they feel like vomiting... does someone see fit to not just say the word 'soup' out loud, but actually suggest that person have some to make them feel better?????? flu - yes i get that, soup could possibly help. but soup looks like vomit :| what in the world makes anyone think that the nauseous person would want to eat the very thing they are about to throw up??? urgh!

oriental trading company is my nemesis. i always mean to order things but then i never do and when i finally decide i do want to order, there is no free shipping. and can i pay for shipping - ever? never. i don't pay for shipping :| so now i have to wait. and then i won't order and the whole cycle will start all over again :|

i think this video has caused mental anguish to my child. Danny used to love to go and watch the trains at the station but today not so much... he sat on the bench clutching my hand and wouldn't go near the edge of the platform. hmm. i remember the nice teachers at my school showing a similar video about being run over by a train when i was Danny's age - to this day i have an irrational fear of railroad crossings and standing anywhere near the yellow line even when a train ISN'T coming... but in their defense, i've never been run over by a train. so i don't know if mental scars are better than physical scars. i need to go on Dr Phil (who i am sure will figuratively throw me under the bus)

off to school! back later xo

so i'll tell you something....

this could be love, because... even after mentally preparing for it for the last year or so... and knowing it was coming... and mourning his death, i'm still unable to play the dirty dancing soundtrack without having a little sobfest about Patrick Swayze :(

which doesn't make any sense because i never saw any of his movies and only saw dirty dancing for the first time last year - and was very unimpressed with the way they snuck around behind Baby's Dad like that, tisk tisk :|) but... he just seemed like such a genuinely good good good good guy with a really good heart, he had the same name as my Dad, the same horrible draining illness which doesn't even deserve typing out, he shared his till-death-us-do-part goodness, his handsomeness, his kindness, his charisma... so i guess he stands for more than just an actor to me...

on saturday we are going on a date. the kind of fancy date you need to reserve in advance: for afternoon tea at 2pm at a fancy tearoom in Pasadena :)

i am so glad U2 are broadcasting their LA show online for those of us too lazy to go to the concert... love Bono/hate concerts, it's a win win :)

speaking of which, i got an email from Barry Manilow today. he is doing a series of christmas concerts in Palm Springs and wanted to know if i wanted to go. for $1000 :| the price does include being served champagne by Barry himself... but i don't like champagne and the last time i was in his presence i caught the mani-flu so i am sadly going to have to pass.

pics from today.... sure, your dog can make it to the fence in 2 seconds, but i bet he can't write LSD really really big with no help whatsoever, can he?????! no, i didn't think so ;)

wednesday

again with the nausea :| and no i'm not pregnant :| can you imagine? me a brunette mother of three??! using the third row of seats? having more children than i have hands? having to still pay for someone's untouched meal on 'kids eat free' night? 3x 1000 decibels + 3 x 1000 questions per minute 3x the fighting = never in a million :|

though... i am contemplating something somewhat life-changing... watching a little tiny baby for his mama. this, i could do... he could be a new little muse! he could be a pretend baby brother for Danny! and i would never have to endure a sleepless night... she'll pick him up at night, right?? she won't leave him all night? that part, i couldn't do again....

on a totally unrelated topic (i'm looking on travelzoo...) what is up with all these resort fees everywhere? urgh. i hate taking vacations, i really do. i blame george w bush for resort fees and.... oh pretty much the entire world falling off it's axis in the last 9 years (minus the last 9 months... which have been positively rose-tinted in comparison)

vacations now are worse than real life - you can't even take your good moisturizer on the plane, you have to leave 90% of your clothes at home to avoid excess baggage fees, you have to wear daggy shoes because they slip on and off at the airport, oh and endure the stink of sweaty business men's tasseled shoes in line, and forget those boiled micro lasagnes and little frozen blocks of cheese and crackers inflight.... you have to pay $20 a day for a newspaper at the hotel, that is after the 4pm check-in time, they don't even replenish the towels "to save the environment", and they don't have a DVR :( and don't even think about running around/diving into the pool - fun is so totally NOT allowed on vacation :|

vacations suck. or maybe home is just way more comfortable these days and i am hopelessly spoiled....?

off to walk the dogs. i think it's been a week or so and their noses are pressed to the window trying to remember what outside smells like :(

recording
'obese and pregnant' on discovery health channel tonight. ooooh yeah, crap tv at it's finest!

disliking
the people who stand outside planned parenthood every single day like it makes a blind difference to anyone going inside :| if i ever snap, they are towards the top of my lengthy list of very bad things i only dream of doing...

wondering
what in the hell possessed Oprah to make a show about Nate Berkus babysitting... it was soooo sooooo soooooooooo dull (even though Nate is like, a total 'superfox' :)

boycotting
fox (the channel not the above mentioned superfox). i sure hope melrose place isn't on fox or i may have a problem...

loving hating
this skankwhore... (i bet she has major cooties)

listening
to the beatles. somedays i love them and other days i cannot stand them. today's a beatle loving day for sure :)

taking
a little roadtrip next week, just me and Sam and a lady gaga playlist :)

loving
this crazy dog who thinks he's a kid too :)

i love......

everything in it's place and perfectly clutterless counters

it being my 'other' birthday for the purpose of a free birthday meal at the wonderful hometown buffet :)

when Danny gets home from pre-k and is singing fragments of the songs all afternoon... right now he is singing 'move it back, move it back - allll dayyyy long!'

fresh, shiny lavender scented wood floors

grosgain ribbon

ruby's peanut butter chocolate milkshakes

oversized things (in particular letters and numbers)

miniature things (in particular grown-up things made kid size)

statues you can touch and take pictures of

still warm, fresh, crusty bread and eating a chunk of it on the way home

old fashioned hardware stores

jo malone nutmeg and ginger (it stops me from feeling sick)

straight tree lined streets with no cars parked on them

sigh

so far today i have:

• watched a gruesome episode of walking with dinosaurs at 6am :|
• been whacked over the head by a large rubber centipede while driving
• had to console the distraught child who accidentally did this, while rubbing the huge welt on my neck
• resued our dazed, concussed cat after he attempted to run through a glass door at 200 mph to escape the dogs who mistook him for a wild creature :|
• dragged a 50 pound wailing child around target in the hopes that they might have my very favorite caramel apple yogurt (they didn't...)
• had tears wiped all over my legs during the above episode
• had to carry him after he tripped and refused to walk anymore
• been peed on by a rat
• seen a painted mural of storybook characters that i am soooo going back to tonight for pictures! (this is in pink because it makes my heart skip:)
  
• made chicken noodle soup at 7am while trying not to vomit into it
• come face to face with the 'scary woman with tiger hair' at Danny's preschool - a terrifying ageing foxtress of a grandma, who is always carrying a teacup yorkie with bangtails and a big gold purse with studs all over it. in a completely empty carpark, she waited for me to vacate my space because it's the first one in the row :| but first i needed to read my harbor freight tools weekly flyer ;)
• and did i mention it's 9am... no more bullet points!
  
• off to make zebras from stripy gloves and work on Sammy's room some more xo
  

i'm not in love....

but i must admit, i love mrs (pre) kay soooooooo much i want to make her a sock monkey :) i fear it would seem obsessive and stalkerish. today in the car Danny started to spell out words.... and hard words too, like 'walk' and 'white'. and 'stop' (ok that's not that hard but a month ago he could care less about letters.... so it's music to my ears:)

mrs (pre) kay spells everything out.... for 22 years nonstop she has been spelling words for preschoolers. all her classroom toys are old fashioned and wonderful and like nothing Danny has ever seen before. she doesn't ask for donations for anything. there are no school pictures to buy (she takes one herself, bless her heart) mrs kay's preschool is as sweet and simple as the olden days (the 70s)... maybe that's why it feels so warm and happy there <3

another person i love:
Duncan Hines. i swore i would only buy wares made by working women like Aunt Jemima and Betty Crocker, but i have to admit Duncan Hines makes really good brownie mix. for a man ;)

wasted one entire hour of my life last night watching:
the woman with the gigantic legs. i do NOT recommend this show :| this woman has legs that weigh 210 pounds and one is facing backwards. i so wanted her to have her legs amputated and live happily ever after so i could go to bed and not have odd dreams all night. but she wouldn't do it. and i had odd dreams about not being able to run for the bus ALL NIGHT. thanks lady with the big legs :|

my least favorite bumper stickers in no particular order of awful lameness:
"my grandkids are cuter than yours" i hope they didn't inherit the obnoxious gene too :|
"my great dane is smarter than your honor roll student" which is total BS because the smartest dog is only as smart as the dumbest preschooler... everyone knows that!
"Nobama"... i have only one word to say to that: YESBAMA :)

favorite new indulgence:
yoplait caramel parfait - 110 calories (and ohhh maybe a couple more in the added condensed milk dessert sauce:)

more pics in the morn... off to climb the wooden hill :)

monday morning!

i awoke with the lark this morning to stealthily remove my sock monkey out of a sleeping Danny's arms and make some new actions in photoshop. i swear i hadn't even got to the kitchen today and Sam's door crept open :| then he commenced to asking a thousand unanswerable questions, talking for 3 entire minutes nonstop about the new reading groups that start today and how today is NOT a minimum day and that bums him out, and now he is LOUDLY slurping the milk from his cereal at at least 750 decibels in my ear. someone help me!! i'm a regular human being stuck inside a mommy fat suit and i want to get out!! :(

i shushed him... that should give me at least 20 seconds of pure silence. oops no, it was more like 8. and now Mr Bumps is meowing because his food bowl isn't full to overflowing and he needs it full to overflowing this second. i once read that cats only meow because they are imitating their owners.... and i think i know exactly who he gets his chattiness from :|

i dreamt last night - all night i should add - that i was running for the bus. and i kept forgetting stuff like money and children and a long church-going dress all covered in plastic... and it didn't matter how fast i ran, i never got to the bus stop. on the plus side the bus was going really slowly and stuck in traffic but still... i have a tense aching jaw from all the stress of running for that dang bus....

those i-am-not-a-robot word authenticator thingies are so troubling - firstly because i have robotic eyes and usually can't read them first thing and the words aren't real words... 'deathbedo' isn't a word. nor is 'gravesido'.... hmmm maybe it's a halloween thing??

sock monkey and friend and future stripey sock monkey sitting between them :) pssst, is it me or does my sock monkey have ahem, lady breasts....?

feeling unassuaged....

though i am not really sure what it means. but it's definitely how i feel.....

today the craftiness addiction continued. after another morning of hideous nausea and having to sit very still so as not to feel sea-sick, we set off for Harbor Freight Tools (my new favorite store EVER!) they had my stamps on aisle 5... and on sale! for $4.99!!! i couldn't believe it, i would have kissed them but they were covered in very sticky engine grease... i am not sure why :|

next stop: Michaels!! for little blank dog tags that i could stamp the hell out of with words like 'love' and 'peace' and other words of wisdom that i will think of later. nothing - not a sausage :| back in the car and off to Walmart!! they never disappoint! except: today :( undeterred we continued onto Joann's! where they didn't have any little blank dog tags but they did have these masks on sale :)


a desperate stop at Ace yielded 5 bronze charms and some washers to practice on. sigh. and a free bag of popcorn and a wolf whistle from the store parrot, so it wasn't all bad. but still... my heart sank a little as we were officially out of craft stores :(

went home and put on my thinking cap on where to try next... as by this time i had added ANOTHER item to my impossible to find shopping list: rockford red heel socks size 10/11 in brown with which to make sock monkeys. ting!!! the army and navy store!! we jumped in the car and viola (i know it's voila but so many write viola/wa-la, it cracks me up, and it's supposed to be 'le voila' by the way) arrived tout suite and found THE SOCKS... and THE DOG TAGS!!!! it was like, the best day EVER!!!

until... i started making the monkey :| now it's like, the worst day ever and i have so many needle pricks all over my fingers i just want to lay mr sock monkey across the driveway and run over him, back and forth back and forth back and forth till i run out of gas. sewing sucks. it SUCKS!!! sewing is for suckers!

our stamping workshop

sock monkey 'before the procedure'

sock monkey right now... i am hoping the addition of a face will make him appear more child friendly :|

Danny's latest companion - the holiday armadillo, who demands, via his speaking friend, to be read to and to watch TV and to have a snack...

our very own replica of the dead sea complete with floating egg :)

sam's spooky pumpkin patch display - do not touch. thank you!! :)

she's crafty

what is going on? i seriously feel like violet beauregarde... but i'm not turning violet, i'm turnin' into a "homemaker"! i cannot think of anything except driving to Arizona for the day just to shop at Hobby Lobby to find new lovely new trinkets with which to feather the nest. i know Dr Phil would consider this to be my 'jumping the shark'... where a harmless love of all things crafty and cute becomes a dangerous sick obsession that threatens the wellbeing of our family (AZ is 6 hours - each way - and it's HOT there... even hotter than here, i believe...)

yesterday i couldn't do ANYTHING until i had finished cutting out every last one of my big letters for Danny's wall. i even took my exacto knife to mcdonalds to do some cutting there, only to be told off by the two little boys in my care for carrying a weapon to mcdonalds, which they were SURE was probably a felony.

today i worked all day long on making the boys' bedrooms perfect and cozy and arranged their books by height/spine color, irregardless of what they're actually about. (if i worked at the library, the shelves would be much much much prettier) i made brownies (again the dense fudgy teeth imprint type), pumpkin cobbler, enchiladas with absolutely no recipe, gave the rats a manicure, made a tiny manhattan skyline in shrinky dinks, and a red lobster, and a little cow, and a triceratops....

now all i can think of next is making jewelry. must find: little letter stamps to make silver charms with names and numbers. i looked on etsy - $180. i can't afford that, that's oprah money. a little bird (Grandpa) told me that Harbor Freight had them in the days of yore..... my heart pounded as i typed in stamp letters and hit return... and BAM! we are SOOO going at 9am sharp tomorrow!! i hope they have blank silver heart shaped charms too... a girl can dream :)

dinner last night: the biggest pizza E-V-E-R.... those plates are dinner plates, they look like saucers next to it. i did a search for where to find a 24 inch pizza and ONLY found places in Michigan, and LOTS of them :| i had no idea it was the big huge pizza state, but i want to go to there :)

Sam's room all switched around. the thing to the left of the white table is the rattie's townhome. guess who made it?? uhuh... that would be me :) don't worry, it has LOTS of holes in it and they love it so much

the new supersize white board that Dad bought him today.. we didn't even make him write this - awww!

our beautiful library

$5 of foam and an exacto knife = new wall candy :)

where the wild things are

i think i'm the only person in the WORLD who doesn't love that book.... and who won't be seeing the movie today, or probably ever. i do think they totally goofed by not bringing out a range of halloween costumes, i would actually have bought a Max costume even though i don't technically like the book...

i think Aaron is the only person in the WORLD who prefers Ruby to Max. it causes many a heated debate around here...

i think flying a kite is totally overrated

i think it's a big mistake that Walmart are thinking of doing away with their haberdashery dept next year. big mistake, walmart! HUGE!!

i think the family of the boy who 'floated away' in Colorado should have to pay back every last dime of taxpayers' money for wasting everyone's time yesterday (though it was refreshing to know i wasn't the WORST parent in America for a day...)

i think cutting out huge foam letters with an exact-o knife is both good for the soul and bad for the carpal tunnels...

i think i need the perfect brownie pan. but i worry - would all the brownies taste like outside edge brownies...? i only eat inside brownies...

i think the 24 inch pizza we are having for dinner tonight cannot get here fast enough :) get here already, pizza!!!

i think i still am forever indebted to Walmart for saving my pictures, even though they are nixing my favorite department :(

i think painting an entire wall of Danny's room as a huuuuge green chalkboard is my next project

i think it's wayyyyy too hot here

i think i should walk the poor sad pacing dogs right now, since we are out from dawn till dusk tomorrow at the Salton Sea and Imperial Sand Dunes... back soon with pics

shopping woes

sadly not every store can be as completely awesome as walmart... take albertsons for example. it used to be 'my store' according to their adverts and for a while i believed it. but no more... i went yesterday to find my personal parking space now says 'reserved for online order customers ONLY'. well that sucks, i thought ALL customers were valued. so i found another space and then noticed it said 'reserved for the police'???? hmm, if they are shopping while on duty and squandering my tax dollars, then i really don't think they should be given a good parking space to boot. walmart does NOT give all the good spaces to it's special customers - everyone is treated equally (maybe poorly... but equally poorly) at walmart :)

plus my favorite hebrew national 99% fat free hot dogs are $5.99 at albertons. at walmart they are $2. TWO FREAKING DOLLARS!!! you can get 21 hotdogs for the same price as 7 at albertsons and freeze two packs for future hot dog nights. which reminds me, i don't understand why buns are in packs of 8 but weiners in packs of 7...? another albertson's hate: pizza is 20% off on friday. and friday ONLY. so can i buy a pizza, even if i really really really need it on thursday night? or saturday morning? nope, because i can now ONLY buy pizza on friday :| thanks for making my life far more complicated and painful than it really needs to be, albertsons :|

my other hate: coupons. just reduce the prices everyday by a little bit! i hate coupons! i never have scissors so i have to tear them out which causes major anxiety in case i rip the bar code and the cashier gives an exasperated sigh and gets out HER scissors to make them neat and sometimes, even worse, as i am whisking through the store, the coupons fly out of my hands and then i can't find them and i have to put back the thing i went in for. urgh hate them.

worst offender: costco. they send books of them valid from this day to that day on this many items with these barcodes ONLY and not the low-fat ones, etc etc etc. i used to love costco... now i don't so much (but i do keep them around because you can print a 12x18 sheet not auto corrected in an hour and you can't do that at walmart :)

sigh. off to joanns... i hate joanns too!! i can only buy one thing per day because i can't possibly NOT use a 40% off coupon on my wares - do they realize i'd buy more stuff if they'd just bring the prices in line with walmart's everyday prices...? arrghhhhhh!!!!

hmmmmm

i really really really hope Jon& Kate or Kate isn't canceled :( while i don't watch the show anymore E-V-E-R since it's sooooo boring... if it went away, so would they and so would the scrappy headlines... i think they could really boost their ratings by fighting onscreen. yes i know, Dr Phil says don't fight in front of the kids... but it's a BIG HOUSE! the kids could be locked in the basement and J&K could be upstairs fighting to the death! come on TLC, you know it's what people really want to see!! no-one really gives a hoot about boring crafts and mealtime. that's boring :(

i feel soooo sick every morning these days - too sick for even my first cup of coffee, never mind my usual second... and third... go away nausea, you are soooooo not welcome here!

last night i made enchilada sauceless enchiladas - and they were sooooo good! i used some cans of spicy tomato stuff and a huge tomato in lieu of the 2 cans of enchilada sauce that i forgot to purchase. i almost snuck another one at 10:45pm because i couldn't stop thinking about their spicy, crispy, chicken-y goodness :) though the thought of them this morning is not so good... bleck!

last night i made an adorable squirrel from an old glove and today my crafting project is dinosaur pjs. something is very very wrong with this picture.... must seek medical help :|

again..... another shoutout to walmart, patron saint of all things good in the world for saving my precious pictures... i can breathe again :)

a couple of oldies

it has been said before....

but i love Walmart! and i am not ashamed to put my hand on my heart and say it loud and proud!! there are many reasons for this, the obvious stuff like you can buy fabric and bullets and aleve and candy all under one roof... and you never need to keep your receipt to return stuff which i never do... and you never need to worry about having a stain on your shirt or being underdressed... and they'll assemble your bike for free... and they have a mcdonalds... and they sell stripey beach chairs.... and garanimals... and nurses' scrubs... and polkadot shoes... and they stock diapers in the restrooms... there is soooo MUCH to love!

but now a new reason: walmart tonight actually saved my life. last christmas i uploaded all my favorite pictures of 2008 to make into a wonderfully cheeseball book from me/to me for christmas. the walmart bookmaker is by the far the coolest thing EVER, by the way... you don't even need to do anything, it makes the book all by itself and doesn't ask annoying questions... and did i mention the book is like $15?!

anyway, my hard drive crashed a week ago and i lost my pictures from the end of 2008 :| i have been having nightmares over it... recurring dreams of falling from an airplane and trying to grab my pictures of halloween costumes, and apple picking, and obama cookies, and christmas pajamas and pumpkin patches in mid-air (instead of opening my parachute like any sensible person would :) well tonight i remembered 'the book'. aha, i thought, i will scan the pictures and have my pictures again. i checked the walmart website to see what pictures were in the book... and there are all my pictures!! ALL of them, full size and perfect, saved for a rainy day such as today!! (yes it rained!!!) with a helpful little button to press to save them to my computer!!! walmart... i salute you!!! and love you so much!!!

and while i'm on the subject of loving things most people hate..... i love love love love love this video... i don't know how Britney could sing in that voice in the presence of Michael Jackson. my adoration for that man's human kindness grows every single day :)

i made him today....

link city!

i want this pillow! and this one! and this one!! soo many to choose from....

yesterday i used my patent pending rattie scarf for the first time. oh.. em.. gee!! the boys LOVED it and fell fast asleep in the pockets for at least 46 minutes as i watched flipping out to see what tragedy would unfold..... i am now obsessed with having a fresh rattie scarf for every day of the week in every pattern you can imagine - this is why i need to bulk print my joann's coupons (but shhhhh, don't tell the old ladies there!)

it rained this morning. i swear the rain manages to JUST rain when it's dark and we can't go outside and walk in it and take pictures of rainboots reflected in puddles. the rain is very mean :(

last night, as i was talking myself out of animal fries i was wondering if five guys is ever going to invade orange county. today i checked and the fricking habit is opening, but not five guys:( not that i *love* five guys really that much better... but they do have all-you-can-eat peanuts so habit therefore comes at the bottom of my burger chart :( although lamest place EVER - the counter which doesn't ever register.

i want to go to Arizona!! today!!! i just realized they have hobby lobby there!! yes i'm that obsessed with craft stores :| they don't have them in England, you know.... i honestly don't know what i did before sticky foam, scalloped scissors and felt.... that's why England has to give out ASBOs, i'm convinced of it :)

an oddly crafty day

i never thought i would be that kind of person... but as i was tidying the pantry today, i realized i have accumulated 7 different kinds of chocolate chips:

• very small dark ones
• larger dark ones
• extra extra large milk ones
• mint chocolate ones
• m&m ones
• melty ones
• regular semisweet ones

... and a new kind that i got today just to see how different hershey kiss chocolate chips are to regular chocolate chips... they look just the same :| if only i could find salty chocolate chips, those would be worth adding to my collection :)

my bargain of the week: duncan hines brownies for 70 cents at albertsons! clearly i bought their entire stock:) not that i'm obsessed with chocolate or nuthin'...

i put on dark amber and ginger lily jo malone today and it's giving me a huge headache. i honestly think i only like nutmeg and ginger... all the other ones give me a headache and nausea and make me feel like a strongly scented stranger is invading my personal space :(

i am back in full animal glove making mode!! today: a duck and a polar bear :) i also made three scarves because it rained this morning. they have pockets to put rats/hands in and everything :) they are very fancy and my boys are wearing them nonstop!

and i made little birds for Danny's tree, inspired (NOT copied:) by lovemae...

back with pics ;)

tuesday morning chock (not chalk) full of good things

my hair looked right this morning - it's flat in the right places and pixie in the right places - yay!

aaron made my coffee and it's gooooooood coffee (even from the blue jar)

it's a preschool day... that means i get to, guilt free, catch up on desperate housewives and real housewives :)

i am going to make the christmas card template... my most favorite thing to do of the entire year!

i am going to roll out sugar cookie dough sheets for the boys, with my magic sugar cookie dough recipe that makes them like play doh (but tastier...) and easier to cut out

i found these little birds for Danny's tree and i think, no, i KNOW, that i n-e-e-d them.... the little bird with the top hat - be still my whimsy lovin' heart!

yes it's going to be a GOOD DAY even though that insidious whiny christian rock 'i'm happy in this place' commercial for san diego just played for the 3rd time in as many minutes...

they're happy in this place too, even though technically they can't get out because a book is keeping them from escaping :)